It happened a while ago. Was it around 10pm after putting the child to sleep? Suddenly, a loud shout came from outside the window. The harsh sound grew louder and louder to penetrate the closed window, and there was no sign of stopping. I was worried that my child would wake up, so I went outside to look at the situation, and when I looked at the situation, an uncle, who seemed to be in his 50s in front of a convenience store near his house, was drunk and screaming a whale whale.
'I guess you've had a lot of alcohol...' and the owner of the convenience store looked at the moment when I was just passing by. The person the drunkard yelled at was the boss who was usually close to me. I got along well with the boss because it is a convenience store that I go with every day. He usually speaks little and is a decent person, but he was surprised to see how he got caught up in such a commotion and headed to the convenience store. The uncle with a poignant face was drunk no matter what, and was screaming at the boss with blood on his neck.
"No, what did I do wrong? Why is it only for me? Why?!"
Shouted the drunk man. The boss also met with the loudest voice I had ever seen.
"No, I'm not saying I'm wrong. I guess the customer was in a bad mood."
I didn't know the situation before and after, and I decided to watch it with an irritated mind. The uncle kept yelling at the boss.
"Why are they feeling bad? I just turned the empty chair and sat down!"
He hit the chair and even pointed him threateningly. At the time when I was thinking,'I should call the police' if I was in a constant turmoil. The boss did something unexpected. Isn't it holding the screaming uncle tightly in his arms?
"It's because you didn't do anything wrong. I'll apologize instead. I'm sorry."
The drunkard, who was struggling as if he was struggling at once, began to fade when the boss hugged him, and soon began to weep.
The
boss's warm hug completely changed the atmosphere in an urgent situation where he thought it would lead to a fight, "I'm so unfair . The uncle, who was making a fuss, was holding the boss with both arms, like a child in his father's arms. The boss stroked her back and comforted her.
"It's okay. It could be."
* Listen to SBS Voice.
Strangely, the drunk person sat back at the table gently, as if what had happened, and quietly drank the remaining makgeolli. When the situation was over, the boss walked into the convenience store and I followed with admiration.
"No boss, how did you think you would hold him?"
"That person does it because he is lonely. Because he is lonely."
When I asked, the boss laughed as if it was nothing. When I heard the self-knowledge, the boss and the drunk did not have a dispute from the beginning. A quarrel began with the customers outside the convenience store over the table chairs, and the boss began to get angry at the boss, who was trying to resolve the situation, asking why he was telling him what he was saying. It was finished without much work by the boss's hug, but it was a fresh shock to me.
I thought on my way home. 'What would I have done if I had been in that situation?'
Had I been the boss, I would have shouted louder than the drunk. Because I am a person who matches anger with anger. At school, at work, or even at my family, when someone was angry at me, I got even more angry. The situation ended only when one person went out and fell out of anger. It was unimaginable to embrace the other person's anger like the boss, as Nara couldn't control the angry emotions himself. To support someone who gets angry at something that's not my fault... is this possible?
In my recent psychology book, I saw the concept of'Window of tolerance'. Each person has a different range of emotional endurance, and he said that a person with a wide window of perseverance is not easily excited or depressed. On the other hand, it is said that people with a narrow window of patience have difficulty controlling their emotions and can become angry or depressed even in small things. Looking at it, I belonged to a person with a narrow window of patience.
However, the problem is that this window of patience is greatly influenced by parents. At the moment, my child came to mind. I think that my child resembles the window of patience, which can be said to be the ability to control emotions, so this wasn't just a problem in my life. In fact, I also grew up seeing my father's anger. What would it be like if I grew up watching myself manage my anger like the owner of a convenience store from my childhood? Maybe he has become a person with a wider window of patience than he is now? When I was outside the size of my acceptable emotions, I was extremely excited and my emotions exploded. He hurt others and hurt himself because of the exploding emotion. I don't want to pass this on to my child. So, you have to make an effort from now on. Practice expanding your window of patience yourself.
My long-hardened patience will not easily expand. However, they are changing little by little through counseling and studying. In the book, it is said that deep breathing is a great help when you are trying to become extremely excited or depressed. If you take a deep breath and recognize your emotions and situations, you will be able to deal with them more rationally. It is also said that meditation and exercise can help broaden your window of patience. Far from meditating, it was me who had never even breathed deeply when angry.
However, after the convenience store incident, I started meditating every morning. And when my emotions were about to get stronger, I practiced breathing deeply. It seemed that just taking a deep breath gave me a bit of relaxation. It's a small change, but I think it will improve step by step. With this effort, will the day come when I can embrace the anger of the other person like the owner of a convenience store?
At least I hope the day will come when I can hug my feelings.
#In-It #In-It #Papases # Meet'In
-It' to think about with this article now.
[In-It] I was annoyed with the child again, I hate myself like this