Listening, synchrony and enhancement: three words that can be of great help in the relationship with others. During this post-confinement summer vacation, tensions with those around you can sometimes remain intense. In Without appointment, on Europe 1, the psychotherapist Isabelle Filliozat gives us some keys for more peaceful exchanges with our loved ones.
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A good dose of listening
Listening remains the key word to harmonize our relationships. According to Isabelle Filliozat, we tend, during our exchanges with others, to perpetually want to put ourselves forward, to value us. We only think of existing in the eyes of others. And that is the problem, because we ultimately forget to pay attention to our interlocutor. "For example, in the morning, instead of yelling at my child, I try to enter his world, to understand the representations he makes of things. You have to be so curious about the universe of the other" , explains the psychotherapist at the microphone of Europe 1.
A point of synchronization
Once this listening position is adopted, Isabelle Filliozat offers what she calls "synchronization". The goal: to put ourselves on the same wavelength as our interlocutor, to fight "bugs in communication". Using the example of her relationship with her son, the psychotherapist explains: "Before entering into relationships, I take time to breathe, watching him. The goal is to adapt to his wavelength and to put myself in harmony with him. This allows us to obtain a listening which is not only intellectual but which is also bodily. "
A pinch of compliments
Finally, Isabelle Filliozat assures her: well-proportioned flattery has never hurt anyone. Compliments and gratuities come, thus, to conclude Isabelle Filliozat's recipe. According to her, we very often forget to compliment the person we are around. So a few well-praised praises during the discussion can only improve your relationships. "You have to take the time to look at the other and then describe. When you describe what a person does, we encourage them in their actions. And this appreciation is often accompanied by a gratification. You have to take the time to stop and name what is good. "