Live alive for parents
For a long time, Zhu Zhuqing wanted to be an "ostrich". She didn't dare to go home, sitting at home, her tears could not stop flowing.
In the spring of 2020, her mother and father died one after another because of new coronary pneumonia. She said that where the parents were, it was always home, and now, the home is broken.
One
Zhu Zhuqing returned to Wuhan from Shanghai to visit relatives. After she set out on the high-speed train on January 19, she was thinking all the way to prepare some gifts for her parents. In previous years, she would prepare a big red envelope to stuff her mother, but this year her mother said she would never.
Although news of unknown pneumonia was circulating before, she did not take it too seriously. After arriving in Wuhan, she saw that few people were wearing masks on the street, and their parents and relatives were in business as usual.
Zhu Zhuqing's mother brewed rice wine early, and her family was greedy for her craftsmanship. There is also fermented bean curd, and my mother packed a large jar in advance, ready to bring Zhu Zhuqing back to Shanghai to eat. The refrigerator is full of stuff, spring rolls, meatballs, various braised products ...
The night she returned home, her mother took her homely and said that she now has enough pension, how much red envelopes to give relatives' children this year, and so on. Asked her again about her work and life, she was very late.
This should be a normal new year, Zhu Zhuqing plans to stay in Wuhan for about a week.
However, the accident came two days later. On the morning of January 21, my mother felt a little uncomfortable. Zhu Zhuqing felt "giggled", but didn't think about the new coronary pneumonia and took her to the community hospital. A temperature measurement, 37.3 ℃. She saw that the doctor was "immediately on the verge of an enemy," but she did not say what the specific reason was, but just sent them to the fever hospital.
At 3 pm that day, they arrived at the Third Hospital of Wuhan City. Zhu Zhuqing was a little anxious. I asked for a car on the Rio mobile phone and waited for more than 40 minutes to get a car. When she arrived at the hospital, the respiratory department no longer had a number. She ran up and down and learned that she needed to hang up the emergency number, and waited in line for nearly 40 minutes. The doctor did some examinations for her mother and prescribed a few boxes of medicine, which contained oseltamivir, which is one of the antiviral medicines for preventing and curing the flu. She saw the staff in the hospital looking for a doctor to open Lianhua Qingwen Capsule. She felt that "this medicine seems to be very tight" and asked the doctor to open a few more boxes.
On the way home, my mother vomited, and within two days, she became weak and lost her appetite, until she could n’t stand up. At that time, the new coronavirus spread in Wuhan, Wuhan was closed to the city, and people everywhere in the hospital were looking for lung CT and nucleic acid tests. Only after receiving these two test results, the patients may be admitted to the hospital.
After finding various channels, Zhu Zhuqing arranged for her mother to get a CT scan. The doctor told her that she was "highly suspected of coronavirus, but the symptoms were not serious." . A friend asked her to buy Tamiflu-imported oseltamivir. She heard that this medicine might have a good effect, and she inquired about it.
Duffy is not easy to buy, Zhu Zhuqing finally found a stocked hospital. Only two boxes can be purchased per person. "Hold it back like a baby and eat it close to my mother." She was afraid that her father would also be infected, and let him eat something too, but the father was not willing to eat it.
In the next few days, her mother's condition did not improve. Zhu Zhuqing could only travel between the hospital and her home every day to accompany her mother. She kept contacting the hospital for nucleic acid testing and waiting for beds, but there was no news.
At the height of the epidemic, Wuhan needed to add 3,000 beds a day, which was equivalent to building three third-level hospitals every day. The contradiction between supply and demand is pressing these families who seek medical treatment. Zhu Zhuqing called 120 times, and the response was always "there are three or four hundred people in the front row." The chaos eventually ruined human life.
two
The family asked for help through many channels. "I don't know which aspect played a role." My mother was finally admitted to the hospital on January 31. Zhu Zhuqing let out a long sigh of relief. After a few days of running, she felt that she could hardly hold her back, and she was sore all over. She just fell down and fell asleep.
But at 6 o'clock the next morning, the hospital called and gave her mother a critical notice. She hurried to the hospital and saw that her mother was wearing a breathing mask and had been gasping for breath, unable to speak, but she was still conscious. She still couldn't believe the "critically ill" conclusion.
Zhu Zhuqing constantly encouraged her mother: "Must come through, if there is no problem, it can be treated well." She didn't dare to talk much because she was afraid of affecting her mother's breathing.
After a while, they were called in by the nurse. She saw that her mother had been trying to take off the gold ring in her hand, but she couldn't get it off.
The ring was bought by Zhu Zhuqing for her mother shortly after her work. It was an old object more than 20 years ago. My mother has been wearing it, and she has recreated a style, but she has never left her hand.
"At that time, my mother may have felt that she was leaving, and we should leave some commemoration for us." Zhu Zhuqing said. In front of her mother, she did not dare to cry. She felt very uncomfortable and turned her head out of the ward to cry again.
At about 9 am that day, my mother finally died. After completing the procedures, the hospital directly notified the funeral car to take the body away, because the father had a heart attack, Zhu Zhuqing did not dare to let her father go to see this scene, she watched from afar, she kept crying until then I realized that my mother really left. She also had a down jacket in her hand. She had intended to let her mother "wear" it away, but the medical staff stopped her in order to control the spread of the virus.
She bought the down jacket when she returned to Wuhan the next day to accompany her mother to the shopping mall. The mother was "very happy."
The day the mother and daughter bought the down jacket was a sunny day, and the sun was hanging high. After lunch, they decided to go shopping in the nearby mall. My mother took a fancy to that down jacket. After discounting more than 1,000 yuan, she was reluctant to buy it. Zhu Zhuqing bought it and let her put it on, "If you can't bear it, you will wear it from now on."
When I met a neighbor on the road, my mother was "very ridiculous," and asked people to look at their new clothes and tell each other that this was bought by her daughter, and then told him the original price of "two or three thousand."
It takes about 15 minutes on foot from the mall to home. Her mother wore the down jacket for 15 minutes.
three
On the day of my mother's death, my father simply said a few words about the arrangement of the mother's events. The whole family dared not cry. They could only say relief to each other.
That night, Zhu Zhuqing took some sleeping pills and fell asleep. Later, her brother told her that her father had secretly cried all night in the room. In her impression, her father was a very strong person. Her mother once mentioned that she had only seen her father shed tears once in her life, the day she was married.
Unfortunately, it came to this family again. On the evening of February 2, my brother started to have a fever. Wuhan City stipulates that the community is responsible for comprehensively screening fever patients and sending them to community hospitals for screening and classification. For the patients who need to go to the designated hospital to get hot treatments, the community will arrange vehicles.
Zhu Zhuqing contacted the community frequently. On February 3, the family was taken to the hospital to take a body temperature measurement. His brother was 37.8 ° C and his father was 38.2 ° C. Zhu Zhuqing was dumbfounded. His father had no symptoms before. Immediately afterwards, a CT was arranged, and the CT results of the father and son were exactly the same as the previous mother showed. At that moment, she felt she was "crazy".
She went crazy, making various calls for help, "seeking ways" to friends who had a little relationship. She had to arrange for her father and elder brother to do nucleic acid tests, and they had to ask for a hospital bed for them. That day, she kept walking back and forth in the outpatient hall of the hospital. Her father was afraid that she was too tired, so she sat down and rested.
Later, the elder brother and father successively placed nucleic acid tests, and the results were positive. My brother went relatively smoothly and went to the cabin hospital on February 8. On the day of sending my brother to the meeting point, it was raining heavily in Wuhan, Zhu Zhuqing was shaking with the wind, but she stood for a long time and was reluctant to leave. With her mother's experience, she was afraid that this was the last side.
By the time his father was placed in the hospital, it was already February 10. He did two nucleic acid tests, the first was negative and the second was positive, so he was delayed for a few days. On the day he sent his father to the hospital, Zhu Zhuqing was very impressed. This was the last side of the father and daughter.
She remembered that the 120 car came very late that day, and it was already the next morning when she arrived at the hospital. Because of the inconvenience of transportation, she urged the driver to wait for her for a while, to help her father complete the admission procedures and take her home, "I think the procedures are very simple." As a result, I didn't know which part of the problem happened, and I was tossing back and forth for almost an hour. "You ran to the window, and he said it was done for you, and when you ran to the ward, he would not let you in, saying that it was not done."
At that time, my father was inconvenienced because he could not stand steadily, so he could only lean on the corner outside the ward.
After completing the formalities and putting down the luggage, Zhu Zhuqing hurried to the 120 car, and his father's shout came from behind, "Xiaoqing, Xiaoqing." She couldn't cry, and her father easily refused to ask for help, but at that time it seemed really helpless and uncomfortable, and her heart was uncomfortable, but she was afraid of being infected. "I don't even have the courage to hug him, I really dare not hug."
Surrounded by serious patients with new coronary pneumonia, she was so scared that she could only look at her father from afar. Because of her mother ’s experience, she could n’t even say the words “Dad you need to be strong”. Head, pressed the elevator button.
The elevator door closed slowly, and her father's figure became smaller and smaller. The moment the door closed, she saw her father lift her hand weakly and waved. "Do you want to hug him again, this may be the last time", Zhu Zhuqing struggled many times in his heart, and finally still had no courage to get close to his father again.
Father died on March 1. After sending her father to the hospital, she was asked to concentrate as a close contact, so she didn't meet her father for the last time.
four
Later, Zhu Zhuqing often dreamed of her mother. In her dream, her mother was smiling while wearing that down jacket. She shouted to her mother: They said you were gone, all nonsense, you did n’t go at all, right?
As soon as she opened her eyes, the room was empty and she cried again.
She kept looking at the pictures of her parents on her mobile phone, and many of them were taken while she was traveling with her parents. The old couple are very affectionate and they must hold hands wherever they go. When staying in a hotel, she would open a standard room, three people huddled together, at that time she felt like a child, she can sleep in the same room with her parents.
The family had just installed the heater, and the old couple got excited and wrote a few poems, which were written on the glass plate. On the spring days, they would go to the lake to enjoy the flowers together. When they were idle, they went to the playground together Watching young people play ...
In this scene, Zhu Zhuqing felt more and more uncomfortable. At the end of the quarantine, she did not dare to go home, and even asked the hotel whether there was a shortage of volunteers, as long as it included food and accommodation. The home is full of parents ’things, and she was sad when she saw them. There was also a big jar of fermented bean curd that her mother filled her in the refrigerator. At that time, she also said that her mother filled so much, and could not finish it for a year or two. Now she only feels that it is not enough.
Zhu Zhuqing didn't dare to think about how she came over during these days. She experienced all kinds of negative emotions and accumulated for a long time.
She deliberately stopped herself from thinking about these things, and the greetings from relatives and friends no longer responded. "Every time (reply) is like cutting with a knife." She wanted to let her heart shine.
In this experience, there are many people she needs to thank. She thanked her work unit, Shanghai University, and many colleagues gave her a lot of help; she also thanked the medical staff in the hospital, although she could not name it; she also wrote a thank-you letter to the community staff, thanking those who accompanied her to cry A person who helps her family buy medicines before and after running for her family.
"This epidemic is a national and domestic disaster. Her parents died and her family is gone!" She said in the letter. "My heart hurts a lot, but I still forced myself to raise a pen and write this letter of thanks, because I want to remember In this difficult time, you give me the warmth and support! This will be a driving force for the rest of my life, because I do n’t want to bear too much resentment, complaining, grievance, disappointment, and sadness in my heart! "
In the days to come, Zhu Zhuqing wants to go well. She was not infected. She always felt that her parents were blessing her. She had to live well, and she had to "live" her parents.
China Youth Daily · China Youth Network reporter Zhang Junbin Source: China Youth Daily