- Fathers who go back and forth, go to the coffee machine or sometimes chat in the corridors, can be vectors of the spread of covid-19, without even knowing it.
- With the coronavirus epidemic, maternity hospitals now refuse to allow fathers to be present during childbirth.
- While all couples understand the need to guard against this pandemic, many find these measures extreme.
Together, they had anticipated various scenarios, had prepared for complications or simply that things would not happen exactly as they had imagined. "Like all future parents, we spend months thinking about this day, we expect everything and nothing at the same time. But following my wife's birth on Facetime was not in our plans, ”smiles Julien. Tuesday, a little before sunrise, he became the father of a little Jeanne. Little girl, whom he has not yet hugged, just as he has not been able to kiss his wife, Valentine, still in the maternity ward.
To cope with the accelerated spread of the coronavirus, the Louis Mourier maternity hospital in Colombes (Hauts-de-Seine) informed them at the end of last week that, from now on, fathers were no longer allowed in the establishment. A cold shower for the couple. "It was a big shock, Valentine was collapsed", remembers the young man who wonders today if this news, however announced with tact, did not accelerate the start of work because the term was expected three weeks more late.
He who had participated in all the preparation courses, was fully invested, had to resolve to live this moment through an interposed screen. Forty minutes before delivery, the midwife called him "on video". Somehow, he tried to support his wife. "Emotions over the phone are special," he summed up modestly. I lived things without living them. I saw her screaming, hurting, I felt helpless. Her encouragement came with a little lag, impossible to tarnish her hand, to support her physically. If he evokes a “form of mourning” of this moment, Julien seeks the positive in this funny birth. "I will have an exceptionally long paternity leave, which is what helps to pass the pill"
"I burst into tears, I couldn't stop"
From the start of the epidemic, all maternity hospitals took measures to protect healthcare workers and minimize the transmission of the virus between patients. At first, visits were drastically reduced, but the scale of the epidemic prompted hospitals to review their devices. However, fathers who go back and forth, go to the coffee machine or sometimes chat in the corridors, can be vectors, without even knowing it. For the time being, each maternity unit places the cursor where it deems it necessary, depending on the epidemic situation in the region and the specifics of the establishment. Some authorize the second parent to be in the work room but prohibit them from going out, others make them come at the last moment to attend the delivery. Finally, some prohibit contact.
For Aurélie, the prospect of giving birth to her first child alone was a blast. "When the midwife told me that this might be the case, I burst into tears, I could not stop," says the 33-year-old osteopath. For the time being, at the Béclère hospital in Clamart, where she is due to give birth by April 8, the fathers are still admitted in the birth room but no longer in the pre-labor room. "The rules change so quickly, even the caregivers are in the fog," worries the young woman. If she tries to stay as much as possible in her "bubble", look at "the news as little as possible", these last weeks have been particularly agonizing for her and her companion, also a nurse, and therefore on the front line since the start of the epidemic. "It's a double stress, if he's sick, how am I going to do?" He can't help me. "
"It was the least worst of scenarios"
While all couples understand the need to guard against this pandemic, many find these measures extreme. Sophie, who is due to give birth to her second son in a month, cannot imagine living alone this moment. "A birth project is something that we are planning for two, we have already had to draw a line under many things, starting with the presentation at the maternity of the baby to our elder or to our families", confides the young lady. For the time being, his clinic accepts fathers in the birth room but not during hospitalization. If she briefly considered giving birth at home, she has already inquired about the conditions for an early exit. “I feel my husband very frustrated, we don't talk about it too much, but for an invested father, it's a big blow. She cannot help comparing with the birth of their eldest, the essential support of her companion during work, her involvement from the first days. "I try to remain optimistic, I tell myself that if I hold a month, it will be fine," she smiles.
Our file on the coronavirus
This situation is all the more difficult to live with since future parents find it difficult to find their way between rules that evolve from one hospital to another - including within the same department - and at the rate of the epidemic. Until the last moment, Jérôme had to face this uncertainty. When his wife experienced intense contractions on Monday evening, he was initially denied entry to the hospital. "I was made to wait an hour and a half in my car, while the staff checked that the work had started well," explains the director of the Lille crèche. He was finally able to enter the work room and spend 24 hours with his wife, but with a formal ban on leaving the room. After this time, he had to return home and is now awaiting the return of his wife. “It is the least worst of scenarios even if it was far from what we had imagined. "
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