• The best party for Malasmadres

Founder of the Malasmadres Club, Laura Baena Fernández (Málaga, 1981) is today, six years after coming to the fore for her demystifying postulates of perfect motherhood that generated great empathy among millennial moms, an authoritative and recognized voice in the battle for conciliation. Although not alone. Co-responsibility, upbringing, health, entrepreneurship, labor problems, shared custody, difficult family situations ... all these issues find an echo in this virtual community of almost half a million members, turned into a true pressure group (they managed to make even the president of the Government, Pedro Sánchez, will participate in his obstacle course). Now he criticizes the economic measures of the Executive, because, he says, they do not help small entrepreneurs.

The coronavirus crisis has filled the members of this club with concerns to which Laura, the chief malamadre, tries to respond. All this catches him in a complex moment. She just became a mother for the third time in late February and the reality, as a mother and as an entrepreneur, is beyond her. But soon he compiles himself, strategies are not lacking. He responds to this interview from his Madrid apartment with a balcony of five square meters (" he had never gotten so much out of it "), where he spends his double quarantine (that of childbirth and that of the virus) with his partner, "the good father" , and his three daughters, "the gooddaughter1", the "intense girl" and Lucy, the baby.

I donate. Quarantine due to coronavirus and your recent maternity, do we not talk about reconciliation? LAURA. Who was going to tell me? After 6 years with a lot of personal and professional intensity, the decision to have our third daughter was highly desired. I wanted to have a time for myself, to stop, rethink the way and, why not, to enjoy a little slow life. It has not been. In these ten days I have gone through all the possible emotional states, from denial, to impotence, anger, anger and personal selfishness. But you have to be responsible, so you start making decisions with a clear objective: to be well. Now that I look at it with a little more perspective I feel lucky that Lucy was born before all of this. We are at home, we are well and when everything has happened we will enjoy double. Even so, my feelings change for hours, there are moments of fear, confusion and above all of overwhelming not knowing how long? But regarding the maternity quarantine, I will tell you that this has served to not have any postpartum depression, I cannot afford it. So you have to be strong and more resilient than ever. Bad mothers are born to fight, right? Well, let's hold on to that.YD The Malasmadres club is altered, the amount of inquiries that come to you is overwhelming. L. They have been days of total madness. We receive hundreds of messages with very difficult situations. Now more than ever they are the center and we have to give them quality information through our experts and emotional support. We are a community that shakes hands, because together we are stronger. At the team level, we were as fast as we could making decisions. Two days before the alarm state we were teleworking. At first chaotically, but now we have managed to organize ourselves better. This project is so beautiful that everything will turn out well. The concern is still there, but with the inner peace of knowing that, whatever happens, we will be able to direct our steps. We had the year organized and now many of those plans do not work for us. I do not have all the answers, but the desire, the illusion and the confidence remain the same. YD What are your biggest concerns? L. Survive or, as the song that has become the motto of this confinement says, resist. On a personal level it is essential to stay calm, not to think about all that we have left because if I do not stop and do not move forward. At the moment I am answering this interview while the intense girl sings and moves energetically next to me, the gooddaughter1 asks the doubts about school tasks to the good father and the gooddaughter3 sleeps peacefully, thank goodness! Of course we still do not know what we are going to eat today and I am in my new uniform: Malasmadres t-shirt and pajama pants. YD How is it affecting you as an entrepreneur? L. One of the decisions we made quickly was to close the online commerce of our store. By social responsibility it was the most coherent, but very hard, because we had just launched the "I am Feminist" collection, with the investment and effort that this implies. And suddenly, everything stops. In this sense, I am very disappointed by the government's measures , because online commerce should be closed for everything that is not essential. It is not fair to see the closure of children, while the adults continue their commercial activity, we fill our mailboxes with discounted newsletters, and those who legislate look the other way. When I get desperate messages from the toilets asking for the closure of Madrid, that we stay home, and I see that not all companies assume their responsibility or the government the commitment that this requires, I feel deceived . It will be difficult to take flight again, but we are going to do it, stronger than ever, with such a great lesson learned, that I hope it will return much to those of us who are committing ourselves.

Laura Baena during the V meeting Yo Dona Malas MadresGonzalo Arroyo

YD Having the children locked up at home is nothing like the dream reconciliation. L. Nothing. When we claimed the royal settlement, we did not mean this. In this scenario, everything is very intense. Fixed hours and high goals cannot be maintained. You have to be realistic, flexible and more co-responsible than ever. The key is to prioritize and lower the level of demand. Do you know something good? That this extreme situation sharpens ingenuity and we will be more creative than ever. Teleworking is joined by household chores, meals, school duties ... Let us all be consistent. We are not superwoman , we have always said it and now more than ever: we cannot reach everything. Not to mention the added pressure of having so many plans on social networks. They create frustration, stress and paralyze, not only me, but many bad mothers who write to me.YD Can a malamadre telework with the children giving war? L. He's being brutal. It is impossible to answer all the messages that come to us. That is why we have created a page for your queries (https://clubdemalasmadres.com/malasmadres-te-ayudamos/). The most important thing at the moment is also not to lose your humor and keep the content as close and optimistic as possible. YD Is hyperconnection an additional problem for you? L. It is and has been for the first few days. Between the baby, the breast, little sleep, the news, the personal and professional decisions, the good friends, the organization with the good father and social networks, there has been a moment of "I cannot maintain this connection". Then I started taking action. If I am answering this interview, the mobile is in airplane mode or silent. Focus on now and schedule social media and connection. Now more than ever we have to choose who we follow and what it brings us. I have decided not to do it with those who are quarantining with a garden, a farmhouse or sea views, ha ha ha, just kidding. I've never gotten so much out of my five-square-meter balcony. YD Will pregnant women and mothers of young children be even more distressed? L. Pregnant women are very concerned, not only about the possible contagion but about the collapse of hospitals. In some, restrictive measures are preventing skin to skin and having a companion during labor. That's hard. In addition, nursing mothers doubt if they can continue with it if it is spread. I recommend the Alba Padrón app (LactApp) that solves this type of issue. Regarding young children, their symptoms are still mild but they say they are the ones that can generate the most transmission. We have many queries about it, so the other day we posted a post with @dospediatrasencasa. It is best to stay home and not put them at risk, so let's be responsible. YD Mothers who live alone with their children cannot take children to the supermarket or leave them alone. Neither with a neighbor or grandparents. There will be desperate situations. L. Yes, also in families in which both parents are health workers. Or pregnant women who are not taking the risk off for Covid-19. Many have to leave the boys and girls with their grandparents because there is no other way out. Mothers who quit their jobs take a leave of absence to take care of them. Truly complicated situations. Families in 50 square meters or where there are children with disabilities ... you have to put yourself in their shoes, help and demand government support. Everything has been very fast, but measures are needed now.YD There are autonomous mothers who have had a hard time building a business. Does the future paint black? What is the reaction to the aid provided by the Government? L. Very black. The situation is of greater cause so we cannot blame anyone, but we can demand economic measures that are up to the task. And they are not because there are many legal loopholes. Many companies have to take advantage of ERTEs but it is not possible if your business is one of those that by law have not been closed. The consequences are going to be devastating. And women mothers are going to be a very, very affected sector of the population. Fortunately, the Government has rectified the decree-law and there will be no minimum for the self-employed and self-employed to opt for unemployment and to stop paying the fee. Our expert in law and women Emilia de Sousa has made a post with all the measures. We are not concerned with surviving in these times of coronavirus, but after. Most projects are going to fail. Many of the self-employed who live on institutions and aid are desperate. Let's hope they hear us. You have to raise your voice! YD How does a malamadre act with domestic discipline with her nerves on edge? L. Oh, it makes me laugh. You get up very motivated, making unreachable lists, like organizing closets. Throughout the day you lose steam and in the end you know that the only goal is survival. Eating is essential, right? Well there I delegate to the good father, because I am null, but I pass recipes of the many that come to me by networks, hehe. For me it is essential to live in order and harmony, so I take care of those tasks. We are a team! If we have never done a craft we are not going to become alpha mothers now. So better leave the tablet for a while and you make yourself a tea looking out the window. You have to look for our moments of disconnection and self-care, even if they are 10 minutes of solitude with a closed latch in the bathroom.YD Now there is time to make croquettes ... L. You should try it, right? I think about it in the mornings, then my desire stops. If I am Malamadre and in confinement that does not change. What we are going to enjoy the good grandmother's croquettes, walks in the sun and family meals when we get out of this! Because we will go out and remember it as a bad dream, which I hope will give a great lesson to all of society.

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