Amani Ballour, a Syrian pediatrician at the heart of the fighting: "I have seen too many children die"

Doctor Amani Ballour is here in Paris, and a little bit there, in Syria. In eastern Ghouta, a suburb of Damascus. The images of the war remain engraved in his retina, recorded urgently in his voice. His words come out quickly, as if every minute is counted. For five years, this pediatrician worked hard to save lives in the besieged Ghouta. She spent more than 2,000 days in the roar of the bombs, the groan of the wounded, and the dumbfoundedness of children who can no longer even cry out. Over 2,000 days in the silence of death.

Today, talking to him has become essential. Forcibly evacuated to Turkey a few months ago, Amani Ballour is on a European tour. She takes advantage of the visibility given by the Wallenberg Prize, which was awarded to her in January 2020 at the Council of Europe, as well as by the documentary which was devoted to her - "The Cave", by the Syrian director Feras Fayyad, nominated for the Oscars 2020 - to alert politicians to the urgency of the situation in Syria.

While Russian President Vladimir Putin and his Russian counterpart Recep Tayyip Erdogan met in Moscow on March 5 to ease the tensions that had arisen between the two countries on Syrian terrain, Amani Ballour, received Thursday morning by the French Minister for Foreign Affairs Jean-Yves Le Drian, utters a cry of alarm: "We must put pressure on Russia and on the regime of Bashar al-Assad! We must stop bombing!" she launched at a press conference in Paris on March 5.

"I do not know anything about it in politics, it is not my job, I am a doctor. And, from this point of view, I know that the humanitarian situation is catastrophic in Syria. Everything is lacking." She alludes to the situation in Idleb, described on Wednesday as "the biggest crisis in the world" by the UN, and the situation of the 2 million internally displaced people. "The lucky ones live in tents. But a million of them sleep in the open air, without care or food. Children are dying of cold. It is a shame to let them die like this," she denounces, without blinking or losing your temper.

"We lacked everything ... I couldn't do anything for them"

In cold blood, this 33-year-old woman has everything to spare: a pediatrician, she exercised in unimaginable conditions. In 2012, when war broke out in Syria, she volunteered as a doctor at Ghouta. For her, it was obvious: "I wanted to become a doctor to come to the aid of those who are in need and driven by the desire to save children". A vocation which pushes her to remain during the five years of the seat of the regime of Bashar al-Assad, "the longest seat in modern history", according to the UN. Under the cover of the fight against rebellion and terrorist groups, Damascus starved its civilian population, a practice qualified in June 2018 as a "crime against humanity" by the United Nations.

Just graduated in pediatrics, Dr. Ballour therefore takes up residence in the partially underground hospital, nicknamed "The Cave". Kilometers of wet tunnels, relatively sheltered from bombing, but deprived by the headquarters of medicines, food, or infrastructure. "The children needed us but we lacked everything, we did not have the drugs they needed. I could not do anything for them", she recalls, evoking this impotence of the doctor, who remains to him today so unbearable.

"The Cave" offers a brief overview of what this woman saw. Babies suffocated by the rubble of their house, their limbs torn off, the wounds of the shells or those bruised bodies, operated on alive, with the sole anesthetic of a background of classical music. There are also mental trauma. These orphans who crack with each passing plane, or the indescribable cry of a mother who sees her child die. And finally, these bombs from the Russian army that fall, again and again. The 1:45 h film scrolls through the dirtiest part of a war. And yet: "The film is so short compared to the time I spent there," she judges.

For her, the height of horror is not in the film. These were the sarin gas bombings launched on eastern Ghouta in August 2013. "There was no blood, no injuries. Just children who were suffocating and dying suffocated without being able to do anything do, "she recalls. "There were so many dead lying on the hospital floor, we had to pile them up."

Dealing with sexism and patriarchy at the heart of war

While several times her father begs her to evacuate, Amani Ballour held out. Faced with the bombs and the sexist and patriarchal remarks to which she was subjected when she took over the management of the hospital from 2016 to 2018. "In Syria, there are still many people who consider that women have to stay at home. I wanted to prove what a woman can do. I wanted to challenge these men, "she said. "And some of the men who criticized me came to thank me at the end for my management of the hospital, and that is a real victory. That is why I know that we can change things."

Forced to flee Syria in 2018, following a major offensive by Bashar al-Assad's army and the evacuation agreements that followed, this activist doctor is now a refugee in Gaziantep, in Turkey. There she created the Al-Amal foundation (Hope, in Arabic) to support the medical profession and in particular women leaders in conflict zones. "It is essential to empower women, to give them the opportunity to study, to work, to earn money. When you support a woman, you support a whole community."

Behind her frail appearance, her fragile discretion, her hushed voice, Dr. Amani Ballour is a powerful woman. A modern heroine, deeply human and vulnerable. While waiting to be able to return to his country one day, the pediatrician is thinking of becoming a radiologist. Pediatrics has become too painful a memory: "I could no longer look the children in the eyes, I could no longer listen to their questions. When a 5 year old boy just lost his hand in a bombing and asked why, what want you answer me? There is no answer, "she explains. "I have seen too many children die".

In nine years, the Syrian conflict has killed at least 380,000 people. Among them, more than 115,000 civilians, including 22,000 children and 13,612 women. And it's not over. Thursday March 5, while Doctor Amani uttered his cry of alarm in France, at least 15 civilians, including a child, were killed in Idleb, by Russian air strikes.

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