In the program "Sans rendez-vous" on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc, psychiatrist and sexologist, answers a listener who does not understand why he derives more pleasure from lonely masturbation than from sexual intercourse.

Is it problematic to take more pleasure alone than with two? Lionel, for example, is worried about feeling greater enjoyment when he masturbates than during love with his or her partner. In the program "Without appointment", the sexologist Catherine Blanc explains that this preference is in fact not so surprising.

Lionel's question

I do not understand why I know wonderful enjoyments when I masturbate, when in the context of the relationship, I do not. What do you think ?

Catherine Blanc's response

It is actually quite logical. First, there is no relational issue. Then, the mechanics of knowing how to touch and caress oneself has been explored for a long time since childhood. It can be such a delicious moment that it's difficult to get someone else in. Especially since this someone else forces him to take care of him or her, which completely changes the relationship with oneself.

Masturbation is a story between me and me. There is no stake with the other. So the partner can have all the gestures or all the most delicious attentions, it is necessary to do with another hand than his, and another body than his. This is the meaning of the famous phrase, according to which masturbation would make you deaf. It does not make the hearing deaf, it makes the other deaf.

Maybe he is complexed, that he takes less responsibility when he is not alone?

Absolutely. When he masturbates, he has no duty towards the other. He goes to the rhythm of his excitement, very quickly, or taking his time. Without someone asking for anything.

It can also come from a lack of desire for his or her partner. But then again, we come back to the same question: do I give value to sexual intercourse for sexual intercourse, or what excites me is masturbating, period. This last possibility can show a certain distrust towards the other, to tell something about childhood. It is difficult to accept what the other brings us. In this case, the question must be asked: is it in fact, beyond a preference, a way of eliminating the relationship with the other?