Like it or not, charisma is important when it comes to driving.
(Yushin Mings, Researcher and Professor of Science at the College of Business Administration)
In black and white, we loved many faces, and are still present in our love lists to this day, despite all the different standards of beauty and attractiveness, faces that retained the charm of their presence despite the lack of clarity of the spectrum colors in their cinematic features. This is not limited to the Arab screen, but even Western faces still dominate the cultural and artistic heritage. If we try to think about the reasons that one of them gains the secret of his magic and his control over a large segment of the audience, we will find times lightness of shadow, times of culture and talent, and once you find the simple or sharp form, the roles of love and goodness or the roles of power and evil. There is no equation for why stars are stars, something you can observe, not explain. By moving away from the camera and beyond its curtain, we find in our lives co-workers who enjoy wide popularity, rapid acceptance from the ocean, and this, of course, benefits them and benefits them. We also find some children - despite the innocence of all children - attracting acceptance, familiarity and smile more than others.
In a lecture on the "TED" platform, Professor of Organizational Behavior by John Antonakis entitled "Let's Face the Truth, Charisma is Important", he reviewed several experiments he conducted on multiple age groups whose responses were similar to the judgment of the right person to suit a certain position, captain of a ship, or politician For example, he says: “Your look, your features, your height, your haircut, whether you like it or not, determine who you are in the eye of people.” The subject is similar to that we are commodities, others judge us and put the price of the product, either equal to a million dollars, or not worth anything Absolutely, only by your external appearance. Does charisma or charisma have a certain equation, or is it an innate talent that a person cannot train himself on? Science simplifies its wings here to say: Charisma is not necessarily an innate talent, you can at any stage of your life be a charismatic character, but how?
The ideal legend
"But charisma does nothing but get the attention of people, with just their attention, you must have something else to give them."
(Daniel Quinn, The Adventure of Mind and Soul)
In a common and erroneous judgment, like many generalized judgments without foundation, he explains that magical presence requires layers of idealism, capabilities that are more superior than the natural level, and the fact that the ideal of charisma is not ideal. Richard Weizmann, the British professor and psychologist, conducted a study (1) that included two actresses, each trying to make an offer to the pioneers of a commercial store selling a mixer; the first, she made an ideal flawless presentation, and the second, I forgot - by mistake - tightening the lid of the mixer, the matter That made the mixture sprinkle it, causing people to laugh hysterically. Weizmann asks: "Who do you think could have convinced more audiences to buy the mixer? Surprisingly, the anarchy that forgot to close the mixer cap liked the audience even more and sold more mixers, so why?" (2)
Weisman explains that "weakness" is the second humanist, and this is the opposite of the rumor that idealism attracts the sympathy and love of people. Weakness made it affect more on the audience, and made the audience also sympathize with it. When we acknowledge weakness, we allow the other to interact with us and infer that we are closer to them and liked by our simplified image. Perhaps the lesson learned here is not to try to hide our weaknesses in order to win the love of others, but on the contrary, it may be that highlighting the truth as it is is the first reason that makes you loved as you are, even if the shortcomings you see in yourself are ridiculous, disastrous faults, or even Embarrassing. The other side - inevitably - will see it as true and closer to the truth, so who said that the truth should be perfect?
Infectious simulation
"You can learn it, but you can't fake it."
(Jeremy Milness, speaker and radio coach)
In another study led by Professor Richard Weizmann (3), which was conducted on 200 people, the purpose of this study is to answer a specific question: Are emotions contagious? Participants advanced to persuade the jury of their feelings, conveying these feelings and their effect on them using their personalities, Professor Weizmann comments: "The charismatic character is powerful in transmitting feelings, the charismatic person infects the other without realizing. For example, if someone smiles at you, you meet him with another smile, he gives you The feeling of happiness without realizing it, and you are also happy even though you do not realize that you are emulating the person or copying his feelings. " Professor Weizmann summarizes this experience with three characteristics of a charismatic person:
* Strong ability to sense his emotions.
* It affects others.
* In addition, it is impervious to the influences of other charismatic characters.
This is consistent with the opinion of Dr. Ronald Reggio (4), Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology at Claremont McKenna College, as he believes that a "charisma recipe" needs three basic components, namely: (5)
Be expressive: the ability to easily direct conversations and convey emotions.
* Control: the ability to adjust personality to suit the mood and social structure of each group.
Sensitivity is the gift of listening to others.
Where he sees d. Reggio, in essence, charisma is how much you can communicate with others, capture their feelings as well as express your feelings. Although it seems very subjective, but what if you do not have these qualities? This is not a problem, you can learn and train yourself on it, as Professor Wiseman estimates charisma as being 50% innate and 50% trained.
This is agreed upon by the speaker and radio coach Jeremy Milnes, as he confirms that training in certain techniques causes a tremendous change in personality, some of these techniques are good listening, asking questions, and not trying - strongly - to make yourself the center of attention, and comments: "There are some people Lucky ones who have their character attractive, like Johnny Depp and Marilyn Monroe, but I do believe - honestly - that these skills and techniques can be learned and practiced and can become part of your own behavior. " Coach Jeremy does not deny that there is a special and innate magic, but it is not far-fetched, you may not care to master all the techniques, but you will inevitably be comfortable with some of them. (6)
Not gossip!
"Magic does not require any familiar doses or spirits. Language on the tongue gives magic enough for it."
(Salman Rushdie, the witch of Florence)
Part of social upbringing includes talking about other people, in a study (7) of a scientific phenomenon called "spontaneous transmission of characteristic", confirming that there are implications for communicating with others through talking about others, and that the recipient associates the qualities that you talk about with others and assign them to you, This impression may remain for a long time as an impression taken from you, not from what you are talking about. The study also confirms that there are no logical rules for making these inferences about you, or linking the characteristics of others to you, but it is a phenomenon that unrecognized affects social interaction. For example, so and so describe someone jealous, subconsciously, the listener will consider you jealous. Perhaps this explains our mothers' keenness to teach us not to say gossip since childhood, so the advice here is not to talk about others in order to gain their admiration, and if you want to talk about one of them try to flow with your personality, let your charisma appear, choose to talk about someone you love, respect, and you will talk about it wonderfully and honestly Reflections on you. (8)
Regarding speech as well, a study (9) conducted in 2005 showed that those who speak quickly are classified as more attractive than those who slowly take their time to talk, as the fast, smooth and quiet speech style without undue or irregular pauses is more attractive, because A style that reflects a person’s self-confidence and thoughts, as well as the charisma brilliance in a person’s head gestures during his speech, eye contact, and frequent smile, this is evidence that you listen and pay attention, because it is not what you say, but the way you speak as well.
Is your natural charm enough?
"If you lack confidence in something, all you have to do is just keep trying and not give in."
(Susan Young, The Art of Being)
Michael Mallows, author and trainer of character development, says that many of those he works with and coaches are those who have provided great job interviews but have not received the job. You may also have a good relationship with one of them, but in working with them you feel that you do not like your style, and she asks: Why is your natural charm as a friend no longer enough at work? However, recruitment consultants agree that charisma and natural magic are not enough in the workplace, so providing a good interview as if you are selling yourself is not enough, as this surface is only, and going into details is what will give you the opportunity to accept you at work. Alison Burgen, CEO of Padnock & Clark commented: "Without training in character attractiveness, you - as a good person - can miss an opportunity, but this does not give the bad person a chance at first." (10)
Dr. Joseph Roche, professor of theater and English at Yale University, comments that charisma is an arc of meeting need, and that what makes the charisma paradox very strong is your ability to monitor the need that meets you, and in this regard recalls Princess Diana, who was nicknamed " De-shy, ”as shy as most of us, who needed to dig deep to find the sparkling charisma she was carrying inside her all the time to finally be called the“ Princess of the People ”(11). All of these suggestions can be put into action very quickly, however, it is important to proceed slowly and in view of your individual circumstances, allowing you to train in your charisma or that fit your life and choose techniques that will actually be important, positive and added value to your personality and really help you to seize the opportunities that are right for you . With training, little by little the process will become less difficult, and it will also become an integral part of your daily behavior.