>> When does a relationship become strong enough for doubts to begin to fly? To be sure that his or her partner is not content with a simply sex-based relationship. Sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc takes advantage of a question from a listener to answer her questions.
The question of Noémie
It's been more than six months since I met a great man. We get along beautifully, rela- tively and sexually. That said, I suddenly worried if he was with me just to sleep. To my question, he replied: "It's a risk to take." I'm lost, what do you think?
Catherine Blanc's answers
We can always ask ourselves the question of why. But what is interesting is that if we ask ourselves this question, it is because we are asking ourselves the question. Because otherwise we live things. We do not say 'well, why the other is with me'. We are all at his business, this relationship. All of a sudden, she said to herself 'but if he was with me only to sleep with me' ... After six months, it's a curiosity anyway.
Since we are in a relationship and we create a bond and a certain attachment and therefore dependence, we fear what could make the independence of the other. And abandonment. We can have the answer, we still have our doubts that are there, which are tapping us. It also depends on what was his life before. Was she left, did things stop abruptly or not? Is there in his childhood life trauma, abandonment? I think it's mostly about her personal concern that goes far beyond the relationship. Because she has her answer as to the quality of the link.
Companion's response - "it's a risk to take" - is not it clumsy?
It's teasing. It's a way of saying, 'stop asking questions'. If men always let themselves embark on women's issues, they get lost, they drown. One can still be good enough to put doubt, to oblige them. There, Noémie seeks flattery, in fact. She seeks the compliment, she seeks the 'I love you'. She seeks things that comfort her.