There are many people who, far from feeling pleasure, suffer with every sexual encounter they face. And I don't mean physical pain or suffering, but mental pain.

It is curious how a simple complex can throw down our greatest desire for enjoyment with another person. And, even before the encounter, these complexes do theirs in our head, circling to see how we can hide or hide what we consider ugly, too big or small, or simply, away from the norm. I mean, weird.

Both men and women suffer and we pay attention to them, which is the worst. Much more than our sex partner will probably do. Well, if someone really wants you, and is a lover worth his salt, he will value other issues, such as 'feeling' between you, communication, skin, pleasure or laughter. And you may be surprised that this 'tummy' that you are ashamed or loves to nibble on your sore ears seems so lovely .

Luckily, erotica is free and, although fashions want to take over it, good lovers don't judge, they just enjoy.

BARRIGA, CELLULITE AND 'SIZES'

They appear if you measure yourself according to the socially stipulated beauty standards, you accept the supposedly perfect measures and you want to be boringly "normal", without taking into account that, what attracts us is the different , the exotic.

People with low basic self - esteem are easy prey for these complexes. And, in turn, they make it continue to decrease. They make us focus on the carcass when the one that generates happiness, pleasure, fullness and sexual satisfaction, is not in symmetry or size, but in how we feel. "I know I'm much more handsome when I don't feel ugly," Fito and the Fitipaldis sang, and how right they were.

What will they say if they see me that michelín, the malformation of my finger, cellulite, my sagging breasts or discover that what I was wearing under my pants was stuffed? If you are a victim of the complexes, you may recognize that any of these questions hovering in your head.

Although any characteristic or physical or mental quality may complex us, certain factors, such as those related to weight, volume and height, usually do more. If you go over, because you're fat and you think you'll like it less. If you fall short, because you think that a body without curves or little muscular is not attractive. Being quite common that we want what we don't have. The high wants to be like the low, and vice versa.

In this sense, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons said that the most popular plastic surgery was breast augmentation. And it is that many people mistakenly consider that the complexes are physical, and to end them they are willing to operate, assuming the possible risks. However, the complexes have a psychological origin.

We might think that, perhaps, people with malformations, for example, would have more reason to feel self-conscious, but that is not the case. The most complex are the perfectionist people , who care too much about what others think, those who need to feel accepted by the group and less accept themselves.

It is that need to escape from who we are, for fear of not liking, that makes us enjoy less in bed. To be thinking, in the middle of the task, if we are going to like it or not, it means not being carried away and can even generate sexual dysfunctions, such as lack of desire, anorgasmia or erectile dysfunction , for example.

HOW TO FIGHT THEM

The fight against the complexes begins by listening and deciding, for myself, what I really want ; that love me or desire me for what is expected of me or for who I really am.

We all try to improve our physique, to some extent it is something positive. Trying to hide certain aspects that we don't like, is very human. The aesthetic is based on this and our self-esteem is also reinforced when we "take advantage" and look more handsome.

However, if the fear that they see me that grain is going to cause me suffering, prevents me from leaving the house, relating to me or enjoying thinking that the makeup will take off my makeup and I will disgust, they will pass from me or he won't love me; I have a big problem. And it is not precisely that grain.

Working on self-perception , accepting and valuing us more, we will be able to leave our complexes behind. It may not be easy and it is very likely that we may need professional psychological help.

Stop judging yourself and for those thoughts . Change those beliefs that do not allow you to be yourself or enjoy yourself, before going to bed with someone. This way you will enjoy much more.

And don't fool yourself. The complexes are only in your head. And your body is beautiful , whatever you are.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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