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The birth of a child upset the whole life of a couple. In the young mother, this arrival often results in a sudden drop in libido, a physiological phenomenon at first. Should we worry? After how long do we return to desire? How? On Tuesday, in Sans rendez-vous, the Europe health show 1, the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc explains how to combine desire and motherhood.
Why does a woman's libido drop after childbirth?
"Still breastfeeding, the woman makes a hormone, prolactin, which is anti-erotic, that is to say, anaphrodisiac.This natural mechanism is supposed to allow mothers to properly feed their child, rather than having them. others by return of diaper, risk to dry up their milk and thus endanger the life of the first born.Nowadays, with the development of the industrial feeding for baby, the mothers are obviously no more subjected to this necessity to provide for the needs of the infant through natural means.
On a psychological level, a woman's desire for her partner can also be motivated by a desire for a child. Once the child is there, the desire is no longer because the purpose of motherhood has been achieved. Some mothers are satisfied with this wonderful feeling of having been able to be a little being and to have an exclusive relationship with him. "
After how long does the libido return after giving birth to a woman?
"A short period of time If a woman does not breastfeed, the hormones get back into place within 40 days, which is also the time it takes after a delivery to get the uterus back into shape. But after nine months of pregnancy, restless nights, possibly stitches and a need for healing, we can understand that it takes more time to be able to reclaim her body.Wishing to squeeze nature, to worry as soon as all does not intervene in due time is a mistake. "
If the libido does not come back after several months, should you consult a professional?
"There are lots of women who do not have a libido, but who are still going to make love and, in the process, regain their desire." In other cases, the libido is there, but there is a such pressure of the external environment: to be operational for the baby, for her husband, for work, etc., that there is simply no room for desire.We must consult a sexologist if the absence of libido is experienced as a problem because it is not a disease or a symptom.To be consulted for an opinion other than that of the person with whom we live, a notice without of personal interest. "
Is the presence of the child's bed in the parental bedroom necessarily dangerous for the intimacy of the couple?
"All psychoanalysts advise to avoid the presence of the baby in moments of intimacy, if only to prevent him from getting used to being in the parents' room." Moreover, the child has a particular flair developed when he is small: he feels the rushes of milk, sleeping next to his mother makes him wake up all the time.This is an absolute killer-love because she will hear him move, breathe ... Admittedly, it is easier to have the baby nearby, to catch him with an arm, but you have to be able to offer him his space as soon as possible, to find his own. "