Protocols dealing with women in websites .. Be my friend!

News from the island

• In new leaks .. Zuckerberg: good for the world is not necessarily good for Facebook
• In a statement to the island Net .. Facebook responded to accusations of bias to Israel
• Like the Qassam pictures .. How does Facebook fight Palestinian content?
• Leaks about Facebook's plan to sell user data
• For unknown reasons .. Facebook prevents users from entering

It was a very smart move from Majida al-Roumi when she stood on an orphaned rock surrounded by water from all sides, turning her roaring voice to the broad sea. "Be my friend!" She knew she was talking to no one, no one would take her call seriously! We, the sons of Arab culture, have the firm conviction that "there is no such thing as friendship between men and women." However, the social networking sites came to break this conviction, even formality, and to force us to use the word "friend or friend" with the opposite sex on the pages, how to deal with these "friends" in the contrast between religious and community values, and these sites of the possibility of communication The clock is written, audio and visual?

A web site and no rules of conduct!

There are strict rules of conduct that define the form of social relations in Arab societies, which have been imbued with hundreds of years of religion, customs and traditions. But the sudden intrusion into the social networking sites of these communities, and their proliferation at record speeds did not exceed 15 years, did not give time to form a special rules of conduct for these sites. Rules such as "lychee" and response to read messages and permission before adding to groups all seem modest attempts to develop protocols that regulate the chaos of transactions in this virtual world, but are not yet ripe for adoption or agreement. This problem reaches its climax when it reaches the most sensitive relationships at all - relations between men and women who for the first time found themselves on a list of friends with open communication possibilities.

Women set rules

As an Arab woman with reasons to make her page public, I suffered from this mess of communication and was subjected to privacy violations by "friends". Sometimes I was awakened in the middle of the night greetings or even video calls by strangers encountering their presence on the list of friends or followers! In this mess of communication and the absence of rules, no one should be blamed for blame, but I have seen that it is best for us as women to try to develop special protocols to deal with us through social networking sites as a reference to the issue and help codify it.

So I'm going to set up some protocols to connect with women in the virtual world, although I think it might not be popular with some who find a real outlet in this mess and free from restrictions. But I will nevertheless prove these rules to be a voice for those like me who aspire to a quiet virtual experience, and for those who believe that true, productive communication is somewhere in the real world outside the screens of telephones and computers. Emphasizing that these rules are not derived from Shari'ah, and that they do not seek to justify or moralize the communication, but aim not to deny it in vain, but to recognize it as a fait accompli. We can replace it with an attempt to control its mandate to protect women as much as possible, and everyone has the freedom to accept or reject these rules. Here is my brother man:

Please distinguish between married and single

Some people find networking opportunities an opportunity for a relationship that can lead to a serious relationship. This is understandable, in which men's initiatives and attempts are also understood, so these protocols may not be strict in this case. But when the doors are blocked in the face of the evolution of the relationship to something serious, here shows the importance of adherence to the rules, what is true between the two parties is not true between a married man and woman, but many do not distinguish between these two cases unfortunately, here is my brother the first rule: distinguish hope between single and married!

Accept to be misled

There is a huge gap of confidence between the sexes in Arab societies, so you are always prone to misgivings about what you are, since you are a "man" before you are a child in and of itself. It is not personal, and he has initiated the charge since the beginning of the "friendship" to be careful to abide by the rules, and do not do what raises doubts.

Do not overdo praise

And because you are always in doubt, your speech will often be carried badly, so your praise may be taken as a kind of courtship or courting, so your praise is limited to praising the idea or publication or whatever you want to praise, without exaggerating the praise of his companion.

Do not take the initiative

However, the desire to communicate between the sexes will continue to exist, and the small green dot or "connected now" next to the name "your friend" with an empty writing rectangle and a "send" button is a great temptation for any man to take this step with a woman.

The nature of the man in the context of his relationship with women is already initiated, but his initiative here is not desirable as long as it is difficult to extrapolate the reaction of the other party. So, in short, do not initiate anything, if there is any communication will fall after the initiative of women, it is that must allow the first communication, which must first receive peace, which should take the initiative to prolong the talk first. This does not mean that the act is now acceptable or moral, but adherence to this rule will be sufficient to protect women from undesirable initiatives and prevent the development of many relationships because of the weakness of the women's initiative towards men and the need to protect them from urgency.

I do not claim idealism and I do not call for it, it is something that can not be reached in the chaos we are living in, and we admit that we all break the rules sometimes, and we all have people excluded from it, and we all feel sometimes the desire to decompose of any restrictions ..

communication Web-sites

The most beautiful and clear

If you need to write to a specific woman, do not receive a greeting and then wait, but know about yourself clearly, and then write what you want to say at once in broad daylight, and avoid communication at night. You'll get a response later and it can turn into a direct conversation if necessary, but always make sure you're not the initiator.

Ask permission before any escalation of communication

Ask permission before going into the conversation, ask permission before writing at night, ask permission before contacting, ask permission before joking, ask for permission first and always repeat your permission, and accept to refuse.

Do not raise titles

The title is really only a distance between the sexes, should not be easily overcome, the man addresses the woman's mother or professor or my sister or Madame or whatever title, but to say to her, "Flana" in her name frank. It is regrettable that many find themselves rushing to raise the cost with women without permission. While preserving the titles, women feel this distance between them and their interlocutors.

Finally, I do not claim idealism and I do not call it, it is something that can not be reached in the chaos we live in, and we admit that we all break the rules sometimes, and we all have people who are excluded from it, and we all feel sometimes the desire to disassociate from any restrictions .. But that does not mean To give in to our wishes without trying to codify them. As I write these protocols, I am not claiming that men are the only ones accused of seeking unregulated contact with women, but also women with natural inclination, but men are often initiators. And men are socially programmed to regret the burden of controlling their relations with women only, so they consider their initiatives and urgency justified as men, and this puts great pressure on women, and if it agreed or soft to deal with the man's reluctance to move forward in this relationship is often the last possibility Think about it.

I would like to emphasize once again that the initiative of women or the development of relations after their consent will not make the man's response to them moral, but that his refusal is also the other of these initiatives a duty and a right guaranteed and leased by God's permission. But restricting the initiative to women fortifies women to remain obsessive when dealing with the opposite sex by default. It also reduces the need for frequent reprisals that make the environment of communication sites hostile to women and limit their effectiveness, and increases the waste of feelings and times for both sexes. Hence the need to preserve the right of women who want to distance themselves from this chaos, by restricting men and robbing them the right to initiate, and to let women determine the shape of the relationship they want, which delineates the borders that fit them, which will greatly reduce the chances of development of these relations , Away from the calls of idealism and solutions Platonism, which we have not yet found fruit.