Violence against women usually only makes headlines when it is over - after the death of a victim. There is even a separate term for it: feminicide. Some cases are particularly remembered, especially so-called honor killings - they are regularly exploited politically. Partnership violence occurs not only among immigrants, but in all strata of the population.
On November 25th is the "International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women". On this occasion, SPIEGEL reports on what is happening in front of these often highly dramatic, momentous attacks. Why do women - and to a lesser extent men - get into violent relationships? How do you escape them? And what can we learn from their stories?
In a representative study on violence against women in Germany compiled for the Federal Ministry of Family Affairs, 64 percent of those affected reported having suffered injuries as a result of their abuses. A situation report created by the Federal Criminal Police Office on the power of partnership in 2016 puts the number of female victims of dangerous and serious as well as bodily harm with fatalities at 11,942 - and the trend is rising. 357 women were killed. As far as the so-called bright field - the dark figure is much higher.
"Domestic violence is one of the most common offenses in our society," says criminologist Julia Reinhardt of the federal working group "Workers Domestic Violence". "But it's also one of the most invisible."
There are many, sometimes very perfidious forms of partnership violence - and all have serious consequences for women. For her body, her psyche, her children and their future, but also for society. Because violence is handed down from generation to generation. And it has devastating consequences for the national economy.
Injuries incur treatment and therapy costs, as well as regulatory expenses for child protection and family care. They mean a lack of income, lack of childcare, lost work or declining productivity. They produce dependencies: "There are studies that assume that about 90 percent of all drug addicts have experienced violence at home," says Reinhardt. "This is a huge thing, because the policy does not like to look at it, because with such topics you win no voters."
In 2014, the European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) found that in Germany alone, violence costs women more than 17 billion euros - per year. In the 28 EU member states it is more than 109 billion euros.
"When the woman returns to her tormentor, we have failed"
The feminist Ana María Pérez del Campo is the grande dame of the women's emergency in Madrid. In 1991 she founded the first women's shelter in Spain. Her claim was always political and goes far beyond the charitable. "Violence against women is universal," said the 82-year-old the SPIEGEL. "We have to change society to fight it."
Del Campo represents solidary and partisan the rights of victims - and has little interest in dealing with the perpetrators. "Violence creates dependency," she says. "If a woman was with us and then goes back to her tormentor, we have failed."
Thus, the Spaniard represents a traditional approach in victim assistance - the woman should be free at all costs from dependence on the partner. "When she realizes the mechanisms of this addiction, she does not just want to change her own life, but also society."
Presumably, there are as many forms of partnership violence as relationships. Maltreatment can be physical or psychological, sexual or financial. One perpetrator seeks complete control of the woman, the other wants to get rid of them at all costs. One beats from powerlessness and nullity, the next from megalomania or paranoia.
Some men do not bang and instead try to kill the child together. And the dividing line between perpetrator and victim is not always sharp. In fact, some counseling centers are currently undergoing a paradigm shift in dealing with domestic violence, away from Del Campo's model.
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"The women's shelters no longer exclusively advise on separation," says criminologist Reinhardt. The decision will be left to the women. "And some just need three or four attempts to finally split up." The work of the 360 women's shelters in Germany can not be overstated. "However, there are far too few such facilities, the waiting times are too long."
A study by the European Agency for Fundamental Rights (FRA) from 2014 assumes that in Germany every third woman over the age of 15 has experienced physical and / or sexual violence. According to studies by the Federal Ministry of Family Affairs, women from Turkey and Eastern Europe are more frequently affected by violent domestic violence. The same applies to female refugees, but also to prostitutes, homeless people and women with disabilities - the latter become victims up to four times more frequently, depending on their handicap and form of violence.
Women with such different biographies increasingly need diversified offers of help. And they need people who do not overlook unmistakable signs of abuse. They need neighbors with moral courage and friends with courage. And they need strong women with a vision - like Ana María Pérez del Campo, who says: "Violence against women is always a form of gender terrorism - it is a misogynist ideology behind it."