Sorry if there is advertising on these sites soon for an extensive crowdfunding, but it is now really high time to start an academy for trash staff. At this institute of the highest callousness, there would be not only a separate subject for future trash TV participants variants of the always badly lied mock motivational phrase "I want the audience here finally see how I really am" einbimsen. First of all, they would elaborate extensively on low-threshold teaching materials (display boards, singing games, comparative animal documentaries) before participating in a format, exactly what they expected there.
Again and again, it is surprising that people who want to participate in such broadcasts do not seem to be watching this kind of TV themselves! Anyway, graduates of the Trash-TV-Academy would not be more surprised that the jungle camp takes place in the jungle, if Heidi Klum would make a change with a cold butcher's dog snout, if there is a little bit shorter on the sides - and would not goddamn her sleeping bag Forget about joining "Celebrity Big Brother" and picking out the few belongings you're allowed to bring into the house right before moving out.
The already hundreds of a hundred times seen scenes, the breathless marveling of the rich area, which looks at light now really not much more than furniture showroom grandeur, the shouting about the Dixi-loo and the other inconvenience harassment in the poor area, but now one If you saw this format once, with half an eye, in the amarula intoxication - that was really annoying at the opening episode of "Celebrity Big Brother" on Sat.1. That you have to start with each of these trash dinosaur formats again and again at zero!
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"Celebrity Big Brother": And bye!Chapeau, however, to Prince Heinz von Sayn-Wittgenstein, who modeled his lack of environmental studies after all, the best reason for departure of all time: He left this time as a "construction site" designed misery area and thus the format even before the opening show, because he wanted to drink water under any circumstances : "Water is for me to clean the back!" Now, as is customary among noblemen, he would have liked to be called if he can not drink water, he should just drink champagne, but he is unfortunately not available at the construction site.
The pre-embarrassing nagging of Prince Heinz - "I want my credit card, I want my cigarettes, I want my fortune!" - was at least finally a stimulus for their own tantrums in everyday life. Quite frequently announce angrily, now immediately in the "Breidenbacher Hof" a room for 4000 euros to reserve! Phone!
What annoyed the second most: That nine of the candidates already for days on said "construction site" stewing and you could watch only three people in the awkward move into the house live. It was this act of moving in, the first overtaxed steps in the so-called container, that originally produced the iconic images that "Big Brother" always had exclusive at all epigon shows.
That these scenes still work, showed the live entry of multiple mother Silvia Wollny. "Jalla, jalla, the Pope is coming!", She murmured to herself, as she tiptoeed uncertainly through the Pressspantunnel pulled - indeed touching! - the shoes off, when she entered the rich area for the first time: "Dat is pure luxury, hmmm!". It was even more beautiful when then the two other live singles Cora Schumacher and the incumbent "Bachelor" Daniel Völz moved in and you obviously had not the slightest idea who the other one was. Or, to quote Silvia's requesting words from Daniel: "The Cora - is this the YouTuberin now?"
Rubber palm squirrel as a luxury object
Meanwhile, this youtuber, Katja Krasavice, was sitting in the misery area and fellated a banana. Presumably, they had been shipped into the house days before, so that they ever produced a small supply of slippery goods according to their role, which could then be shown in the collection show. Katja delivered, of course. She chose a hairband with lop-pinned rubber syringes as a luxury item, complained that her vibrator was not mitst den and chattered with Chethrin Schulze, ex-"Curvy Supermodel" and "Love Island" candidate, according to the order on Bumsbelange: "The thing is, I even have with people out of compassion sex. " The only thing that remains puzzling is why you could hear the word "blasen" in her introductory film, but the line "I want you to lick me, Babe" from her song "Sextape" was allowed to run uncensored.
It was not the only puzzle. Did that just happen, or was the opening of the border between rich and poor actually a parody of the wall opening? Finally, the tinny "Big Brother" voice saluted so unctuous "See another world, a world of champagne instead of exertion, a beautiful world in which to be beautiful!" And where did Johannes Haller, "Yes Madness" -Ex- "Bachelorette" -speaker with limited record delivery, on the second day actually the Brokeback Mountain campfire outfit, which, if you remember correctly, but not at all belonged to his original Mitbringartikeln?
Too bad that the audience has not yet familiarized with the somewhat complicated web of relationships in which John, Daniel and Chethrin are: John is now in fact with former "bachelor" participant Yeliz (not in the house), the Daniels Staffel took part and applied his slap in his time, when he sorted them out despite previous kissing. And Daniel and John allegedly both had an affair with Chethrin. One can only hope that "celebrity big brother" this time in storytelling does not fail as mercilessly as in the previous season, as you had to put together yourself how badly Sarah Knappik because actually was bullied by the others.
"With us there are always a variety of Kackterien"
Personnel was at least ensured that it could rattle, also thanks to candidates such as decathlete Pascal Behrenbruch, who calls himself "alpha" and the main interest "winning" indicates, and the end laughing "Germany seeks the superstar" winner Alphonso Williams, who After a few days with his merriment, the fine but sharp craft saw hit the nerves of the inmates.
"There are always a variety of Kackterien with us," said moderator Marlene Lufen, and you can not be completely sure whether this was really a "characters" spokesman or yet a new, poppy description of bacilloid microorganisms that cause diarrhea , which in turn would be an at least original name for the inmates.
In the end, actress Nicole Beistler-Boettcher urgently recommended herself as a compulsory Trash Academy student: she cried because after a few days at the "construction site" she was a little shoddy and did not want her children to see her like that. "Anyone who decides to come to us deserves the utmost respect," said moderator Jochen Schropp. Incidentally, ethics will not be taught at the Academy.