Psychologists say that first love has a special meaning: it should take away our illusions.
In the case of China, I can confirm that.
I have known the country for seventeen years.
For a long time I believed the future was here.
But that has just turned out to be a dystopia.
In Shanghai we are experiencing the Corona apocalypse.
26 million residents have been in the toughest lockdown known to mankind for weeks.
Our beautiful city is so empty it's heartbreaking.
Robot dogs patrol the streets.
The fact that there is an apocalyptic mood in our just pulsating metropolis is making headlines around the world these days.
Drones are now rising in front of houses and threatening people on their balconies when they sing in protest against the government.
Police officers in white full-body protection press their loudspeakers directly in the faces of seniors: "Go home!" It booms at 130 decibels in an endless loop from the tape.
On the Internet, someone has added a techno beat to the scene.
It's the soundtrack of madness.
"Welcome to the 'Squid Game'," said my wife, who was born in Shanghai, earlier this week.
We watched the Korean series about a brutal survival game together.
I don't think the comparison is entirely appropriate.
After all, no one in Shanghai gets 30 million euros in prize money who survives the notorious isolation camps for Covid-positive people.
A doctor my wife went to school with visited one of the hastily erected camps.
She strongly advised us to stay infection free.
Stress and worry take over
Hunger Games is another film that reminds Shanghainese of their new life these days.
That's just a tiny bit of an exaggeration.
Many of us are not even allowed to step outside the doorstep.
Supermarkets and delivery services are closed.
If you're lucky, the state puts a small bag of vegetables in front of your door every few weeks.
When Shanghai's party leader visited a settlement on Monday, a pensioner yelled at him that she had been given two carrots, two potatoes and an onion ages ago.
Even Shanghai disease control officials are now saying publicly that locking up an entire city makes no sense because 0.5 percent of the population has the virus.
A friend of mine was in a nine-bed room with his wife and baby for weeks and had hardly any symptoms.
Because China's leaders sell their zero-Covid policy as mere lesson, the house arrest is now extended by two weeks if there is even a single Covid case in one of our apartment blocks.
Doctors report that they don't know what to do with the tens of thousands in the filthy quarantine centers, where you can get infected like nowhere else. Why the state doesn't let its citizens isolate themselves at home and instead subjects the people and economy to the biggest stress test in thirty years,
The Chinese used to do best in optimism polls.
Now in Shanghai we are afraid to take out the garbage.
There is concern that a family member could contract something other than Covid because in the hospitals all doctors, including heart surgeons, are seconded to treat the virus.