Signs that your child has a toxic friendship

Highlights: Signs that your child has a toxic friendship. Jealousy may be a key component of unhealthy friendships. An unhealthy friendship may be more harmful than not having a friendship in the first place. Healthy friendships can create an environment in which children can develop their social competencies and build their self-esteem. Children who have not had friends since childhood are approximately three times more likely to have high levels of depression. High levels of anxiety, and psychosomatic complaints, and twice as likely to be aggressive, hyperactivity and inattention.

Just as good friendships have a very positive impact on helping children develop mentally, psychologically, and socially, toxic friendships may have a negative impact on your child.

Young children may not understand how toxic friendships can be (Pixels)

Just as good friendships have a very positive impact on helping children develop mentally, psychologically and socially, toxic friendships may have a negative impact on your child, and through the following lines you can identify some of the signs that tell you that your child has a toxic friendship relationship, and here is how to act in this case. .

Toxic friendship and its influence

A study, published in June 2011 in the Journal of International School Psychology, found that about 8% of victims of verbal or physical bullying described the aggressor as their “friend.” The study added that there were about 12% of aggressors who described the victims as their friends. Do you imagine the presence of a bullying child in your son’s life who hurts him with harsh or negative words within the framework of a relationship that both parties might describe as “friendship”?

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A study, published in 2014, showed that healthy friendships have a positive impact on overall health and well-being. Healthy friendships can create an environment in which children can develop their social competencies and build their self-esteem. Children who have not had friends since childhood are approximately three times more likely to have high levels of depression. High levels of depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic complaints, and twice as likely to have high levels of aggression, hyperactivity, and inattention.

An unhealthy friendship may be more harmful than not having a friendship in the first place. A toxic friendship may push a child to commit negative behaviors, and may make him lose self-confidence or stop doing some of the good actions he was doing previously. For example, your child may have a friend who is a bully, Which may make him do anything so as not to be one of the victims of this person's ridicule, and these friendships may lead to your child feeling bad about himself or others.

An unhealthy friendship may be more harmful than no friendship in the first place (Getty)

Signs of a toxic friendship

Angela Caldwell, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, explains to Newsweek that the first sign of a toxic friendship in your child's life is the child giving up valuable possessions, time, or other friendships for that "friend," adding that healthy friendships don't require much; And that good friends are not possessive.

She added that over time, the child may become stressed because of this toxic friend, and it is natural for a good friend to be a source of comfort and reassurance and not a source of stress.

Also, healthy friendships include cooperation and togetherness, but these characteristics are rarely found in an unhealthy friendship. Instead, there is likely to be a friend who is in charge, and is alone in making all the decisions. Despite this control, this friend may put forth little effort for the sake of the friendship. Your child is expected to make every effort for him and his friendship.

Your child may feel bad about himself based on his friend's opinions or actions (Getty)

Another sign that should be noticed is when your child begins to feel bad about himself, based on his friend’s opinions or actions. Caldwell advised parents to pay attention and not to ignore any changes that may occur in the child’s behavior or feelings, whether these feelings are sadness, isolation, or anger, especially when the child enters. A new person to his life.

Also, toxic relationships often involve a lot of "drama," if there always seems to be something dramatic going on in your child's friendship with someone. For example, the friend may share dramatic private information, lie or emotionally manipulate your child, or constantly make your child feel guilty or... Constant frowning at him to get what he wants.

Jealousy may also be an essential element in unhealthy friendships, whether this jealousy is in the form of envy over a new toy, distress over an achievement your child has achieved, or jealousy over the presence of another friend. What is constant here is that unhealthy friendships are rarely supportive or encouraging.

Jealousy may be a key component of unhealthy friendships (Getty)

How can you help your child?

Michelle Reeser, a mental health specialist, explains that young children may not understand how toxic friendships are, and they may not realize that their friendship is unhealthy. She adds that in the case of older children, peer pressure, the desire to fit into a group of friends, or Even the pressure of social media causes a child to get involved in unhealthy social situations and relationships.

To help your child avoid toxic friendships, you will have to basically teach your child what friendship is and its importance in his life, then introduce him to “good” friends and their role in making a person feel involved, supporting him in his crises, sharing in times of joy and feeling, and respecting his feelings.

Clarifying these concepts can help your child identify people with whom it would be nice to spend time.

If your child is involved in a toxic friendship, you should encourage him to put distance between himself and his friend (Shutterstock)

After this first step, it will be important to get to know more about your child’s personality and hear him, observe how he interacts with his friends, and identify the problems he may face in his relationships. Listening to your child and using open questions between you maintains effective communication with him, and when this effective communication is available, he is likely to resort to Your child will come to you and talk to you about any problems that may arise in their relationships outside the home.

If your child is already involved in a toxic friendship, you will need to encourage him to put distance between himself and his friend. Your child should also realize that staying in touch with a friend who does not treat him with kindness and respect can cause him a lot of stress and pain.

Here you must be patient and wise to deal with the matter calmly, because your child may show some resistance and reject the idea of staying away from his friend. It may be useful to help your child see what is happening clearly, as well as help him name his feelings and discuss his concerns directly about this friend.

If your child does not respond to the direct approach, you can be less direct, and talk to him about the changes that you have noticed that have occurred recently, and then ask him to explain to you the reason for these changes from his point of view.

While trying to stay away from a toxic friend, you will also have to help your child establish healthy relationships with other people, encourage him to try new activities or explore new interests, and keep himself busy with many things, so that he can smoothly withdraw from the toxic friendship.

Source: Al Jazeera + websites