In my life I have walked many paths twice and often in circles.

I don't mean that metaphorically.

What I learned: Beautiful forest paths in summer and wonderful toboggan runs in winter lose their splendor if you don't take your eyes off the ground.

BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GLASSES.

Other people's front gardens are inherently less wonderful, also because the light pink of the glasses frames stands out so poorly against light pebbles.

I was almost ready to resign myself to forever hearing that strange undertone, that mix of pride and shame with which our daughter with Down syndrome uttered the crucial word, her confession: “Throw!” And then it happened: it heard on.

The phase fairy had had mercy.

While the end of this phase could still be explained with common sense - the splendor of the world can simply be better appreciated with glasses - the second case remains mysterious.

Here, too, the fairy took its time for years before she released me.

Watched me work with subtle gifts: princess shampoos and princess mirrors for the comb-refuser.

I let myself stammer: Maybe it's because of the time in the hospital as a premature baby and the many injections in the head that our daughter doesn't like being touched there.

Heard my bad jokes when I handed my child over to the special education teacher with the words: "But please don't call the youth welfare office about the hairstyle!" And the fairy probably giggled hysterically when she saw me bashfully reaching for the nail scissors again, to cut out a felt nest so that our adorable daughter became an adorable hoopoe with a conspicuous headdress.

And the other day it was over, just like that.

My daughter grabbed the brush and combed her hair.

20 times in the morning and 20 times in the evening.

It's been like this for two weeks now.

I am enchanted.

My reading tips

Unfortunately, when I tell you about my reading tips, things get more serious.

Anyone who had hoped that the daily closure of daycare centers and the emergency operation with limited opening hours was just a phase will be sobered up after this interview with Professor Bettina Kohlrausch.

The director of the Economics and Social Sciences Institute of the Hans Böckler Foundation speaks of a structural problem caused by the shortage of skilled workers.

And this has many negative consequences, especially for mothers, who often only know how to help themselves by reducing their working hours or shifting them to nights and weekends.

And both, says Kohlrausch, are bad: “Withdrawing from the labor market is associated with the well-known risks such as poverty in old age or a career break.

Reacting flexibly is a total burden.«

What outrages Kohlrausch (and not just her): “That there is no big outcry.

Nobody seems to care - except the parents.

Sitting out such a glaring problem is no longer understandable to me.

This is because care work is not valued.

I don’t know of any other social group that would be expected to do such extra work.”

The comment of my colleague Heike Le Ker, who states that care work must finally receive public recognition, also fits in with this: “After all, caring parents and caring relatives are systemically relevant.

How 14 million children and young people grow up and how more than four million people in need of care are cared for is a concern for society as a whole.”

The interview with the Federal Government Commissioner for the Affairs of People with Disabilities is about a topic that concerns people like me, who are caring parents and caring relatives at the same time: What is going wrong in Germany when it comes to inclusion?

It's a big, complex topic that always makes me sad.

Stay healthy and get healthy

It's not just parents who know that worries and stress can lead to sleep disorders.

However, the problem of falling asleep and staying asleep quickly becomes worse if you have little night robbers in the house.

My colleague Julian Aé conducted an insightful interview with Christoph Nissen, director of the sleep center at Geneva University Hospital.

Nissen is skeptical about many sleeping pills, even those without a prescription, as they suggest: “You just have to take something and then you can sleep properly.

It is not that simple.

Rather, it leads to you getting used to medication, not addressing the actual causes of the sleep disorder and therefore not regaining control over your own sleep. If you want to know more about valerian, melatonin and CBD drops: Here it is!

This conversation with pediatrician Nina Kollmar, who treats minors suffering from Long Covid, is also recommended.

And something else from the area of ​​health: the article by my colleague Irene Berres, which is ideal as an argumentative aid for relatives and is entitled: Myth or medicine: Do you get sick if you go out with wet hair?

The Last Judgement

Whether with wet or dry hair, our cooking columnist Verena Lugert prepared me for a new phase with this recipe for the ideal pasta salad: the time of outdoor meals.

It's not that far yet, your body is freezing, but your mind can have a picnic!

While we're on the topic again: What phases have you experienced with your children that sometimes made you despair, sometimes made you laugh - or even made you cry?

Feel free to write to me at familie@spiegel.de!

My experience is that the phase fairy doesn't take without giving.

We're going through a new phase here, but I'd rather not tell you about it.

My moment

The last time I wrote about resilience and crises, I received many very touching letters.

Thank you for your trust and the openness with which you tell us your stories, even the sad ones!

I would like to share the thoughts of our reader Christa W. with you:

»I was born in 1938, so as a child in Berlin I experienced the war with everything that went with it.

Air raid alarm, stay in the air raid shelter.

If everything was over well, there was peppermint tea to calm us down.

Bombed out in one night, fire in the sky, then housed in a guesthouse, three attacks a day, bunker.

We were three girls, I was the oldest.

Our mother is also only 25 years old.

Then evacuation away from Berlin until the end of the war.

Bad post-war period with cold, hunger (...) I survived all of that knowing that things would be taken care of.

Our mother was there and it couldn't be that bad, or that's just how it is.

(...) No matter how difficult a childhood it may be, if it is loved, despite everything, the child will be stable and able to cope with life.«

Is there a more beautiful insight?

Kind regards,


your Sandra Schulz