Experience shows that practical gifts help strengthen and improve relationships to a great extent (Shutterstock)

The moment of giving and receiving gifts may represent a moment of pure happiness for both the recipient and the giver, and the latter waits to see the happiness in the eyes of its owner, while the recipient eagerly unwraps the gift to see what is inside and feel appreciation and gratitude.

But wait, the matter may not be as positive for some, as the moment of receiving gifts may be a painful moment that carries with it many negative and uncomfortable feelings, which is known as feelings of guilt over gifts.

What happens to the brain when receiving gifts?

According to the American Psychological Association, giving and receiving gifts supports and enhances mental health.

Dr. Emiliana Simone-Thomas, a researcher in neuroscience and psychology, explains that giving gifts, especially when we have a close relationship with the gift giver, activates the main reward pathways in our brains, provided that we do not allow stress to deprive us of the joy of the moment.

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Thomas explains what happens in the brain during the moment of giving or receiving a gift, saying, “What makes the moment of receiving a gift particularly special in terms of activating the main reward pathways in our brains, compared to something like getting a prize or winning money, is that since gifts are a social tradition, receiving gifts It activates pathways in the brain that release oxytocin, a hormone that signals trust and security, and is sometimes called the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone.”

Bonior: When receiving a gift, we may feel guilty because the giver has spent his money, and sometimes we think that we do not deserve it (Pixabay)

When oxytocin becomes part of the equation, the activation of reward pathways here is a little different than any other positive moment we might experience, in that it can last longer, as opposed to the short lifespan of other responses that may release dopamine, which is known as "The hormone of optimism or happiness."

Gifts may also have a distinct impact on strengthening our social relationship with each other, especially those practical gifts that provide a real benefit or a unique experience to their recipients.

The Science Daily website notes that experiments have found that practical gifts help significantly improve the strength of relationships.

However, these previous benefits may never be achieved if negative emotions take over and impose their influence. The moment of “receiving” the gift may be an extremely negative and bad moment for some.

Gifts have a distinctive effect on strengthening our social relationship with each other (Shutterstock)

Gifts may trigger negative feelings

A study conducted by Baylor University, and published by Social Science Research in 2013, shows that the most generous people who give expensive gifts and give of their energy and effort as much as they can may be exposed to rejection and perhaps ostracism.

The same study indicates that the reason for this may be due to the feeling of inferiority that some people feel when receiving precious gifts. For example, some believe that they do not deserve such a gift.

In an explanation to CNN, Dr. Andrea Bonior, a licensed clinical psychologist on the faculty of Georgetown University, said, “The moment of receiving gifts may be stressful for many people. It is not related to the gift itself and does not indicate that the gift is not good. Feelings of guilt may accompany good and expensive gifts more than others.”

“When receiving a gift, we may feel guilty that the giver spent his time or money on us, because in some situations we believe deep down that we do not deserve it,” Bonior added.

People who think this way may also experience bad feelings when receiving praise or attention from others, and may struggle with their sense of self-worth.

The Psych Center website points out that another factor is that many have grown up with a firm and strict belief that giving is more noble than receiving.

This belief in itself can bring up a lot of uncomfortable feelings when you get a gift from someone.

Also, for some, the moment of receiving gifts can be considered a moment of relinquishing control.

When we give, we control in some way or degree.

The gift giver may feel that he is the initiator, the initiator, and the one in control.

This feeling of control may be lost by the person receiving the gift, because only at this moment of receiving does he submit to the desire of the giver and accept his gift.

Psychology Today adds that receiving gifts can negatively affect social relationships, especially close relationships, instead of enhancing them.

This happens if the recipient feels that the gift he received does not express or does not carry any real feelings behind it.

Here, giving a gift becomes merely an empty gesture aimed at maintaining the current status or apparent form of the relationship.

The feelings of affection conveyed by the gift bring you a feeling of happiness (Shutterstock)

How do you deal with feelings of guilt when receiving gifts?

Dr. Bonior, on CNN, offers some tips for effectively dealing with feelings of guilt about receiving gifts.

She says if you feel guilty about receiving gifts, you must first admit it, and here telling or forcing yourself to get over these feelings and trying not to feel anything will not be of any benefit.

After acknowledging, you should ask yourself the reason behind these feelings. “A lot of people who feel guilty about receiving gifts are actually very good at taking care of others, and they only feel guilty because they don’t think they deserve care or attention,” Bonior explains. It will enable you to deal with the problem effectively.

What you can do here, according to Bonior, is to ignore the superficial aspects and focus on the essence.

You can not look at the gift itself in the first place, and only look at what is behind it. The feelings of love, affection, attention, and appreciation that the gift carries may bring you a feeling of happiness, even if you think that you do not deserve these feelings. This belief does not negate or prevent at all that there is a person He feels these feelings for you.

Source: Al Jazeera + websites