“FINALLY, you. I see you, I believe you”, can we read among the many messages of support published in recent days on X (formerly Twitter).
Eight years after the emergence of the #MeToo movement which allowed the freedom of women to speak, men victims of sexual violence are in turn emerging from the silence thanks to the hashtag #MeTooGarçons.
In the wake of the Depardieu affair, and the accusations recently made by Judith Godrèche on the cinema industry, actor Aurélien Wiik, now 43 years old, testified on Instagram, Thursday February 22, about abuse suffered from his agent and other members of his entourage when he was a minor.
Launching the keyword #MeTooBoys, the actor of “Munch” and “All this I will give to you” then called on “boys and girls” to “speak” and “act” by filing a complaint.
French actor Aurélien Wiik poses as he arrives at the screening of the film "Deux Jours, Une Nuit" during the 67th edition of the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, southern France, May 20, 2014. © Loïc Venance, AFP
The courage of Aurelien Wiik#MeTooBoys #MeTooCinéma
Cinema must change.
The predators must fall.
Justice for all the victims of this industry, which will have functioned like a villainous system of mass destruction.@Les_Cesar @datirachida @cnc pic.twitter.com/Ddyqqb7294
— Ni Una Menos (@NiUnaMenos21) February 23, 2024
Since then, the movement has quickly grown, particularly on during a drunken evening.
Accounts of sexual assaults committed by men or women, rather rare until now in the public space, in particular due to prejudices which apply to the victims.
Fewer, less seen
This invisibility of men victims of sexual violence is primarily due to statistical realities.
“Men are much less confronted with this type of violence than women,” says Christelle Hamel.
In 2015, this sociologist co-led the “Violence and gender relations” (Virage) survey conducted by the National Institute of Demographic Studies (INED).
The study reported that over the course of their lives, 3.9% of men have experienced sexual violence, compared to 14.5% of women.
Also, "the statements of men on acts of rape are essentially statements which concern the period of childhood and adolescence", she continues, evoking facts essentially linked to contexts of incest.
The study specified that two thirds of sexual violence reported by men had occurred or started before the age of 18.
Also readViolence against children: 160,000 victims of sexual violence each year in France
More recently, in 2021, the latest Genese survey (Gender and security) conducted by the Ministerial Statistical Service for Internal Security (SSMSI) reported an overexposure of women to sexual violence, particularly in adulthood: 1 in 6 women declared having been the victim of sexual violence by a partner at least once since the age of 15 (compared to 1 in 18 men);
As for sexual violence by a non-partner, it concerns 17% of women (compared to 3% of men).
“There is a male awareness of sexual assault which has always been present, but perhaps not to the point of turning it into demand movements, because men being less concerned [as victims], there is less mass and it is then more difficult to be together,” explains Christelle Hamel.
Also, in France, men victims of sexual violence struggle to find help to become a body, with no center being exclusively dedicated to them (with the exception of very specialized associations) unlike the United Kingdom which has open associations. to all (like SurvivorsUK which works with adolescents and men who have suffered sexual violence) and even a telephone helpline available to men victims of domestic violence.
In France, the association "Colossus with Feet of Clay", created by the former rugby player Sébastien Boueilh - himself a victim from the age of 12 to 16 - is a reference in this area, but specializes in prevention against the risks of child crime in the sporting environment.
As for the associations which help rape victims, like the "Feminist Collective Against Rape", "Stop Violence Women" or even "SOS Femmes", they seem by their name to only be aimed at women, even if in fact they are open to all victims.
A violent “stigma” of the victims
On X, the testimonies are pouring in, as are the reactions.
Among the main supports displayed under the traumatic stories, the words of those who first encouraged the liberation of women's voices.
“It is so difficult and courageous to recognize that we have been victims of sexual violence. All my support to those who testify; I also think of all those who cannot, of those who have forgotten, of those who are dead", writes for example Victoire Tuaillon, journalist, and author of the podcast "Les Couilles sur la Table" which questions masculinities.
“Neither homophobia nor contempt for masculinists will succeed in containing the #MeTooGarcons wave,” also reacts Sophia, feminist activist and Femen activist.
“Congratulations to all those who shake the patriarchy by releasing a vital and necessary word!”
Neither homophobia nor contempt for masculinists will succeed in containing the #MeTooGarcons wave.
Bravo to all those who shake the patriarchy by releasing a vital and necessary word!
https://t.co/feSOmQ4AJa
— sophiasept (@sophiasept) February 25, 2024
Faced with the swarm of messages of support that the #MeTooGarçons hashtag receives - particularly from feminist associations and activists - a category of mocking or even insulting messages stands out, with masculinist and homophobic overtones, which systematically refer to the men victims of an alleged desire to be noticed, or calling into question their masculinity by the simple fact that they “did not know how to defend themselves”.
"17 years old? Guys don't know how to defend themselves anymore, seriously? Or is it a symptom of poorly accepted homosexuality? The need to be interesting?", followed by a slew of insults, we can read in particular under the testimony of a man recounting the forced fellatio he was forced to perform when he was a teenager.
Faced with sexist and homophobic prejudices uttered by other men, male victims of rape may feel afraid at the idea of testifying to the violence they have suffered.
“This stigmatization is experienced by all victims, regardless of their gender, although the arguments put forward for this differ,” explains Christelle Hamel.
“These processes which aim to silence victims are extremely strong, and it is not at all surprising that male victims who begin to testify publicly receive the same treatment as women who denounce the same violence.”
“I'm taking a little courage to go through #MeTooGarcons and write my few truths,” begins another testimony on denied or minimized the pain I expressed - The only ones who laughed about it were men."
I am taking a little courage to browse #MeToogarcons and write my few truths
- I was the victim at 7 years old of a man in a position of power and domination
- Never has a woman denied or minimized the pain that I 'expressed
- The only ones who laughed about it were men
— Bismatoj (@bismatoj) February 26, 2024
According to Christelle Hamel, if the responsibility for the violence suffered is systematically projected onto the victim, it is because "this causes a mirror effect", uncomfortable for certain people who possibly feel guilty one day for having known or seen something, but for not having done anything.
“If there are so many people who are victims, it is because there are almost as many people who are aggressors,” she says, recalling that male dominance on the side of the aggressors comes up from investigation to investigation.
"All these people - mainly men - who make comments, if they are not themselves aggressors, at least know aggressors. They know who has already attacked, who has already behaved badly, who is putting pressure , which does not respect consent."
The latest report from the Ministry of the Interior on sexual violence outside the family, recorded by the security services in 2021, noted that 96% of those accused in cases of sexual violence were men.
Also readMisogyny on social networks: “The most powerful algorithm is patriarchy”
Even committed by a woman, rape is not “lucky”
The question of how everyone perceives the notion of rape is also important in the characterization and recognition of sexual violence, particularly that perpetrated on men by women.
A scenario more mocked by some who consider it a “luck”.
"Being abused by your ex at 16 means: friends saying 'so lucky', having apprehensions when it comes to having sex with new people, hearing 'no big deal 'by all his friends because it was by a girl", testifies for example this man.
“Everyone has their own representation of what rape is,” explains Christelle Hamel, adding that certain acts of penetration (other than with sex) are not recognized by everyone as being likely to constitute rape.
“The issue of forced fellatio also falls within the definition of rape, but is less identified as such by individuals,” continues the sociologist.
In France, a bill, adopted in August 2018, nevertheless included in the legal definition of rape the case of individuals who have undergone forced fellatio, or that of men or boys who have been forced to penetrate the perpetrator of the rape.
Article 222-23 of the Penal Code now provides that "any act of sexual penetration, of whatever nature, or any oral-genital act committed on the person of another or on the person of the perpetrator by violence, coercion, threat or surprise is rape."
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