"Free education" means achieving balance in the home, focusing on quality rather than appearance, and giving children a lot of love and attention without conditions (Shutterstock)
In the 1960s, University of California psychologist Diana Baumrind classified parenting styles into three styles: tyranny, tolerance, and authoritarianism.
According to the American Psychological Association, authoritarian parents “are those who nurture, respond to, and support their children, but set strict limits for them, and even when they listen to them, they focus on imposing rules that change their thoughts and opinions.”
In the midst of the pressures of modern life, which has made parents' time crowded with children's playdates, music lessons, and sports activities, in addition to facing the constant flow of information and entertainment options for their children via the Internet, Canadian journalist and author Carl Honoré published the book "Under Pressure: Saving Our Children from the Culture of Overparenting." In 2009, he dedicated a fourth parenting style, “Free Parenting,” to help parents “raise and educate children in a fast-paced world.”
Free education can be defined as parents abandoning the idea that children should be given all ready and easy opportunities (Shutterstock)
This style is based on abandoning the authoritarian parenting style, allowing children to realize themselves and make their own decisions, teaching them through practical experiences, and not being satisfied with the theoretical knowledge provided by textbooks. It is a book that was praised by the American magazine "Time" and considered it "a reference for the trend of free parenting."
What is free education?
Also in 2009, the American newspaper “The New York Times” published an interview with the book’s author, Carl Honoré, in which he said, “The rise of globalization has put most parents under enormous pressure, in order to give their children the best of everything, and make them perfect in everything.”
From hiring private tutors, to spending a lot of money, working long, grueling hours, and spending years worrying and planning to push their children harder, “in the belief that this will help them survive in a world that is becoming more competitive.”
Hence the importance of "free education", which does not mean doing everything at a slow pace, but rather means "achieving balance in the home, focusing on quality more than form, and giving children a lot of love and attention without conditions," and accepting to take a step back, to give them the opportunity "To explore who they are, not what we want them to be."
According to Honoré, imposing control over children regarding family systems “does not negate their need for a lot of time and space to explore the world on their own terms, and to stop for sufficient periods to rest, think, and let go.”
Slowing down helps develop patience
On the other hand, the American writer Christian Daschle, in an article recently published on the “Fatherly” website, described free education as “parents beginning to abandon the idea that children should be given all the opportunities ready and easy,” and encouraging them instead to “have meaningful experiences, and give them time.” And energy to deal with it,” and stop asking too much of children.
This was confirmed by psychiatrist Nadia Teymourian, saying, “The principles of free education help parents increase meaningful interactions with their children.”
When parents adopt a slower parenting style and stop constantly putting pressure on their children, “children learn to create more ideas, explore their own interests, and enjoy simple, unstructured activities,” as slowing down helps develop patience, “allows children to see the world around them, and Richer personality.
Dennis Pope: You do not have to rule your children with an iron fist, but rather rationalize schedules and appointments (Shutterstock)
4 ways to adopt free education
Here are 4 ways to embrace freewheeling parenting, and help the whole family have enough room to breathe and slow down:
1- Do not exaggerate in developing programs
The harm of excessive plans and programs is not only limited to depriving children of opportunities to enjoy rest, but it also reduces the precious time that allows parents and children to establish closer relationships.
Dr. says “When we resist the urge to over-expose our children with too many activities and programs, we force ourselves and our children to prioritize connecting with each other,” by spending more time with family, “to help children recover from the stresses of daily life,” Teymourian says.
Stanford University professor Denise Pope adds, "You don't have to control your children's activity with an iron fist, but rationalizing schedules and appointments can help everyone avoid burnout."
2- Allocate time for free play
There is value in allocating free time for children to play in voluntary, enjoyable ways, as Dr. says. “Free play and imaginative activity without strict rules enhances children’s creativity, problem-solving, and social skills, and develops their self-confidence,” Teymourian said, “because it allows them to explore their interests, make decisions, and move between games such as preparing an imaginary meal, planning a vehicle, or building a fort.” , For example.
At the same time, they must be reassured that “their toys will not go to waste, and will still be there for them to enjoy later in the day, or in the next school vacation.”
3- Be patient with bouts of boredom
Despite the importance of unorganized play, it may sometimes seem boring to children, and in this case the slow and free parenting tactic depends on patience and tolerance of complaining, and not rushing back to organized activity programs, and instead inventing an exciting game outside, even if it is climbing a tree.
Research indicates “the benefit of these activities for children’s growth, developing their executive abilities, and enhancing risk management skills, self-confidence, and independence.” Simply put, “no child has ever died of boredom; children who are bored will eventually learn to stretch their creative muscles and come up with alternatives,” says Christian Daschle.
4- Conscious and balanced use of technology
The free-spirited parenting style views the constant purchase of the latest and best toys for children as a “potential trap” that may lead to tension in the relationship between parents and children, due to the constant pressure to get the impressive advertisements they saw on television. The constant desire of children for more screen time also represents a difficult problem for this educational style.
That's why Dr. says: Teymourian says that “awareness and balance” are key, and recommends that children be empowered to use technology positively, taking into account their well-being, and not giving up on screens completely, “and focusing instead on learning and creativity, not just continuous entertainment.”
Source: Al Jazeera + websites