The language used to convey value to the child is very important, especially when the positive formula is preferred over the negative (Shutterstock)
Many parents have difficulty instilling the basic values and principles they believe in in their children; Convincing a young child of the importance of values such as patience, respect for elders, or even cooperation and altruism is not easy. But education specialists have provided a set of solutions that will help parents accomplish the task.
Child specialist Marcela Alejandra Cavoli stressed, in a report published by the French magazine "Atre Baron", the importance of using play with children to instill values and principles at an early age, because of the benefits it provides for developing their social skills.
Cavoli provided 4 simple steps that can be applied with children:
1- Determine the value you want to teach the child
The age of the child is one of the most important factors in choosing the value that parents want to instill, as it can range from simple limits such as “Do not scream at your mother and father,” up to “Treat your grandparents with respect.” Parents should determine the value they want to convey to their child, and think carefully about the best way to formulate it.
Determine the value you want to instill in your child and think carefully about how to formulate it positively (Shutterstock)
2- Explain the value to the child clearly
In order for children to understand the meaning and importance of value, it is necessary that it be written in a positive way. For example, the phrase “Grandparents should not be treated disrespectfully” may seem very obvious, but it is poorly worded. It would be better to change it to “Grandparents should be treated with love and respect,” because the language we use to communicate value is very important when setting rules, especially when positive language is preferred over negative.
3- Use play to establish value
Once the values are explained, it's time to start implementing them. To convey the idea through play, an entertaining game can be invented in which participants repeat the rule twice. First by voice, then by imitating the voice of another person in the family.
A parent repeats the phrase “Grandparents should be treated with love and respect” first in his own voice, then imitating the grandmother’s voice, for example. Thus, the child will enjoy imitating, while the value will be engraved in his subconscious mind.
Instilling values in children through play is beneficial for all family members (Shutterstock)
4- Identify the consequences of not following the rule
After a child learns the importance of a value, parents should explain the consequences of exceeding it. Remember that the whole family is part of the game, so everyone can participate in choosing the consequences of breaking a rule.
Try to make this exercise as fun as possible. For example, you can sit in a circle in which each child presents his ideas about the consequences of violating the values. The most important thing is that the entire family enjoys the process of instilling and consolidating values in children!
Instilling values through playing with children is beneficial for everyone and stimulates the development of future social skills. The younger your child is, the more ready he is to learn and accept guidance.
The younger your child is, the more ready he is to learn and accept guidance (Getty)
Tips for positive family dialogue
In a related context, psychologist and education professor Thomas Licona advises, through an article he wrote on the “Psychology Today” website, to make family meetings - whether to learn or to discuss any family matters through play - simple in the beginning, and not exceeding half an hour once a week for a while. .
With the passage of time, it is possible to increase the time and discuss more matters. Here are some points that you must follow for a positive family dialogue:
Set foundations and rules for family meetings:
such as the necessity of listening to the speaker, looking at him, and not interrupting him, and each person respecting what the other says even if he does not agree with him, while not allowing mockery of anyone’s opinion or belittling it, and making sure to reach solutions that satisfy everyone.
Adding fun:
You can add a kind of fun to the session by preparing a special type of dessert and eating it during the discussion, or making it a family outing if the matter is not serious and requires prolonged discussion.
Identify discussion topics:
It should be emphasized that the purpose of the family meeting is to cooperate and solve problems, not to determine who is guilty and blame each other, and to learn new things.
Start and end with praise:
Instead of starting to talk about the problem immediately, you can create a positive atmosphere first by praising the efforts of family members in cooperating together, or praising each person in particular for something they do, then talking about the issue that needs to be discussed. After completing the discussion, the positives that the family shares together can be pointed out again.
It is recommended to add some fun to family meetings unless the topic of discussion is serious (Shutterstock)
Involve everyone:
No one's role should be passive and remain silent. On the other hand, make sure to give equal opportunities to everyone, so that everyone can express their opinion.
Discuss the proposed solutions:
Try to come up with a plan that everyone agrees on. It is recommended to avoid voting on the available options, as this may cause family members to be divided into “winners” and “losers”, and this is not the purpose of the meeting.
Give everyone a chance to lead:
This opportunity helps your children feel responsible, realize the importance of family meetings, learn to manage dialogue, and become well acquainted with the rules of dialogue and how to apply them.
Follow up on the implementation of decisions:
Make sure to follow up on the implementation of the decisions that were taken during the family meeting, to consolidate the importance of this dialogue and the decisions that were agreed upon, and that it is not just an argument.
Do not give up:
If your first meeting does not go well, it may take some time for everyone to get used to talking together and discussing family matters, so do not give up quickly. Even for parents whose families did not hold meetings to talk together, they can try this with their children, and over time it will become as usual and familiar as meeting for lunch.
Source: websites