Your child learns from your actions and not from your words. Show him that you are a giving person and value people more than things (Pixels)
Many parents suffer from their children's endless requests and their constant desire to buy new toys, even if their closets are full of possessions that they hardly use.
According to a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research in 2015, materialistic children have two main beliefs:
Defining success as having high-quality things, in addition to a number of material goods.
Owning certain products makes them more attractive to other children.
The child learns how to link human transactions to financial values from his social environment (Pixels)
Learning by imitation
There is no doubt that parents do not intentionally instill these beliefs in children, but the child develops them based on observing what is followed at home.
Family psychological consultant, Dr. Ahmed Siriwi, told Al Jazeera Net, “The materialistic thought of a person is the dominance of financial thinking over his evaluation of things and people, so he links everything that happens to him to material value, and life for him becomes a set of financial projects, some of which he accepts, and others reject based on “material interest.”
He continues, "This person is often one of the poor spenders. He is careful in using money, and believes that every penny must be justified to him before spending it."
Dr.. Ahmed Siriwi: The financial value of things dominates a person’s materialistic thinking (Al Jazeera)
The child's social environment
Sriwi explains, “When this person gets married, according to the social learning theory, he imparts this thought to his children through modeling in learning. The child sees how his father or mother evaluates everything based on the financial interest sought from them, so he imitates his parents, especially in the first stage of life, and then grows up.” And there will be a copy of them.”
According to the family psychological consultant, the father or both parents deal with their child “with the same materialistic concept in which they look at life and deal with things through it, so the child prefers material rewards for which he performs a duty until he obtains it.”
Thus, the child learns from his social environment to link human dealings with material values, and his actions become associated with financial value.
Possessive love
Sriwi says, “In some cases, generous parents who are far from materialistic give birth to a materialistic child, as a result of personal tendencies that belong to the child alone, including materialism, love of possession and control, and excessive concern for things. In this case, parents must pay attention to such a matter and give it a degree.” It is of high importance, because the formation of a child’s behavior begins in early childhood and becomes more established in late childhood in preparation for adolescence.”
In such cases, the family counselor advises parents to intervene to modify the child’s behavior as early as possible. “There are many methods, including the differential reinforcement method, which is strengthening the child’s behavior in a material and moral way whenever he engages in human behavior that is far from materialistic, in exchange for ignoring any material behavior.” And not give it any importance.”
Exaggeration in teaching a child to be careful sometimes causes him to associate happiness with keeping money (Pixels)
Preserving materials
For her part, psychologist Dr. Amal Sarayra told Al Jazeera Net that she noticed that "genetic and behavioral characteristics are transmitted from parents to children, including caution in spending and focusing on determining expenses on a regular basis."
The most important strategies that parents use to transfer these ideas and behaviors to their children are:
Failure to meet the child’s wishes and requests, and convincing him that they are not important.
Teaching children how to save.
As for the common mistakes resulting from exaggeration in transmitting these behaviors, the most prominent are:
Linking children’s love to saving money, thus entrenching in the child the programming of constant fear of spending or meeting his needs and desires.
Comparison between children to create competition between them, which may make the child feel inferior and rejected by his family.
Material things are more important than happiness!
Sarayrah says that exaggerating inculcating behaviors related to material aspects “turns the matter into something like a way of life for the children. Even if he has the material to make himself happy, he prefers to preserve the money, which he considers more important than happiness.”
“He may risk important relationships in his life, such as his friendships and acquaintances, and even avoid establishing any social relationship, because of these thoughts and the feeling of pain he feels from spending and the constant feeling of guilt, and this may extend to psychological conditions, including: anxiety and social phobia,” according to Sarayrah.
She concludes, “With regard to treatment methods, we focus on changing thoughts and analyzing them using the cognitive-behavioral therapeutic method. I also tend toward the method of releasing feelings and changing the individual’s self-talk, in addition to training on the strategy of gradually exposing situations to change behavior.”
Instead of giving your child gifts, engage him in humane activities such as walking or playing with him in the park (Pixels)
How do you “fight” materialism?
As for the Free Will Mind website, it published some steps that can be taken so that the child does not turn into a material human being, including:
Promote gratitude:
Teaching your child to be grateful for what they have will prevent them from thinking that they can only be happy by having more.
Focus on spending quality time:
Instead of giving gifts to your child, engage him in simple activities together. You can walk or play with him in the park. Spend more money on human experiences, rather than buying gifts.
Role model generosity:
Your child will learn a lot from your actions, not your words. Show that you are a kind and giving person who values people more than things. Donate to charity, and talk about kindness often.
Encouragement:
Praise your child when you find him or her being kind or generous, emphasizing the importance of valuing people, rather than things.
Source: Al Jazeera + websites