In contrast to "helicopter parenting," which is based on surveillance, control, and expedited development;
or the stern style of "tiger parenting";
The term "elephant fatherhood", which was added to the lexicon of raising children in 2014, when writer Priyanka Sharma-Sendar used it in an article for the American magazine "The Atlantic".
This educational method is characterized by softness and tenderness, and gives priority to the happiness and emotional security of the child, while emphasizing empathy, warmth and encouragement, as essential elements for building and strengthening trust between the child and his parents.
Studies from the University of California revealed that educated parents in the United States have been spending more time with their children over the past 20 years.
This was also confirmed by a 2012 study, which showed that "regardless of how strict some parents may be with their children sometimes, they spend a lot of time, effort and money on them, perhaps more than previous generations."
This study found that parents "spended more on the education and care of their children than on consumer goods, from 1972 to 2007."
These parents do not stress about the details, and what is important to them is that their home remains warm and inviting;
And they don't resist the urge to care for any child they come across.
Although they have unlimited stores of sympathy and patience, at the same time they turn into a fierce force to be reckoned with to defend their children if necessary, says writer Jamie Kenny.
Signs of an "elephant fatherhood" approach
Dr. Tia Kim, a psychologist and expert in parent-child relationships, reviewed;
On the Purewow website, there are signs that indicate the tendency of one or both parents to deal with their children in an “elephant fatherhood” manner, including:
They can't stand letting a baby cry. Elephant parents are unlikely to control their instinct to rush to comfort their baby when it cries, no matter when or for what reason.
Elephant parents are not naturally inclined to push a child into self-soothing habits, or to scream to sleep, and prefer to encourage their children to seek help when they need it.
For parents of the educational elephant style, educational or athletic achievement is less important than preserving the child's feelings (Getty Images)
Their highest priority is child care and protection.
When a child falls on the field - for example - one of his parents comes to be the first to appear on the scene to calm him down, and does not hesitate to carry him in his arms, dry his tears and kiss him before he resumes playing;
And he may rush to do this even before knowing if he really needs help or not.
they don't push the child to grow and become independent faster;
The most important thing for them is that the children feel comfortable and not hesitate to ask for help.
So they let them develop at their own pace, while always being ready to support the children immediately when needed.
offering feelings and words of encouragement and support for achievement;
For Elephant parents, educational or athletic achievement is less important than preserving the child's feelings, so much so that a poor test result may elicit sympathy more than anger or disappointment, and the priority becomes reassurance of the child's feelings and words of encouragement and support.
let the child sleep in their bed;
The performance of the parents of the educational elephant pattern is always warm and gentle with their children, and they do not find anything wrong with the child’s attachment to them and his sleep in their bed, whether he is an infant or entering school, and it is difficult for them to eat one piece without sharing a bite of it.
There is no place for speed and strict rules, the happiness of the child is the main concern, and unlike the authoritarian parenting style that includes demands and consequences;
Elephant parents have no place for hard and fast rules. They believe it is their duty to adapt to their children's needs, because children's happiness is their primary concern.
For example, if a 7-year-old cannot clean his room, he will not be forced to do so, but the focus will be on trying to overcome this obstacle in front of him.
Parents of the elephant pattern do not find anything wrong with the child's attachment to them and his sleep in their bed (Shutterstock)
The advantages and disadvantages of the "Elephant Paternity" style
Although we search for the best ways to raise our children, eventually we gravitate towards what makes sense to us. "There is no perfect parent, just as there is no perfect child," says author Priyanka Sindar.
What is indisputable is that all parenting methods must support the emotional security of the child and help him thrive, as Kim asserts, who believes that any method enhances confidence and reassurance, and strengthens the relationship between you and your child;
You'll be better for his long-term growth, development, and success, while research shows that warmth, support, and parental follow-through are linked to positive outcomes.
And if what distinguishes the elephant parenting style most is the flexibility and emotional sensitivity necessary to establish a strong bond between the parent and the child, and to give the children more freedom to explore themselves, and to make them happy,” Kim warns that this parenting style may turn into a burden on the parents.
"There is no parenting style without flaws, especially when you overdo it," Kim tells us.
For example, we may find children who grow up with elephant parenting "suffer a lot from the difficult realities of life when faced with critical situations, and miss out on opportunities to learn from their mistakes."
Kim recommends preparing kids for the real world by balancing different parenting styles, in a way that provides a strong structure, but also some flexibility.