No family is perfect, all families go through times of stress, anger, disagreements and disagreements.
But what makes the family "toxic" or "harmful" is that it does not listen to one of its members and does not change the harmful behavior that harmed him. The only option in exchange for the absence of empathy and simple initial feelings.
Families are living beings, and your presence in them affects your entire future, as well as your relationships: what they will be and how they will continue.
Having "toxic" parents or "abusive" siblings can cause a dynamic imbalance in your future choices, and affect your heightened sensitivity towards others and fears of entering into relationships that may be similar to your experience with family.
Your presence as a sensitive person in a family with this amount of abuse may lead you to isolation and loneliness as the only and safe option away from the frustration you feel with them.
But you have to know if your family is really abusive, or if it is just an illusion.
"Harmful" family signs
Justine Carino, a psychotherapist in New York and an expert in adolescent and youth relations, says in an article she published on her medical blog that there are many signs that indicate that you are in a “toxic” family, the first of which is the lack of a sense of emotional and physical security inside the home, and this happens because of someone’s behavior. family members and its reflection on others.
Justine adds that a family that is not good at dialogue between its members, or in which you cannot communicate and express yourself freely and safely, is definitely a "harmful" family.
Lack of effective communication is a sign of an abusive family (Shutterstock)
Karino identifies the signs of the "toxic" family in the following points:
The lack of effective communication between its members, which often leads to outbursts of anger and violence, or silence and ignoring is the response to everything you ask.
Either way, you are missing out on proper communication.
No boundaries, meaning no privacy for anyone in the family.
Excessive criticism of your personality, performance, and way of managing your life in general.
A family member's mental illness, such as untreated bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or personality disorders.
Excessive control over your schedule, your life, and your choices.
Domestic violence in its various forms, whether it is physical harm or constant threats.
Neglect, emotional abuse, ignoring, total silence, or belittling you as if you don't exist.
How do we survive?
To survive being in a "toxic" family, psychiatrist Judith Orloff, author of "The Survival Guide for Sensitive People," says in an article on the "Psychology Today" website that the first way to survive is to set polite and clear boundaries. In front of the toxic behavior that makes you vulnerable to humiliation, indicating that it is also wise to reduce your expectations from your family, so do not wait for things that its members will not be able to provide for you.
Thus, your acceptance of these things may help heal your psychological wounds.
Orlov opens the door for sensitive people to address what triggers them and triggers their inner sensitivity, and she gives this type of people the following advice: “Don't let other people's comments drain you, ignore them and ignore them, and see them as always an opportunity for correction. For example, if someone criticizes your choices, Do not panic, but take it as an opportunity to clarify your personal boundaries, so do not be the emotionally fragile person who is satisfied by crumbs, but always say to yourself: I deserve better than crumbs.
If someone criticizes your choices, don't panic (Shutterstock)
The psychiatrist points out that people who grew up in a harmful environment often share certain characteristics in their future dealings, which are:
They seek perfection, are proactive in providing assistance, and maintain peace of mind as a coping mechanism.
They have difficulty setting personal boundaries.
They find it difficult to name their feelings and desires.
They have low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence.
They are more likely to have mental health problems, such as anxiety disorders.
Despite all that they are exposed to from their families, they are the saddest party because of the interruption of communication with their families.
Carino believes that dealing with a "toxic" family only requires you to focus on your actions, away from controlling the actions of others.
She says, “Being aware of your family’s relationship patterns and deconstructing their dynamics, and determining the way you deal with them, enables you to develop self-compassion skills, communicate in a loving and healthy way, deal with your feelings and strengthen your relationships. All you need to do is be patient, accept vulnerability, and form new habits.” In the end, this family will still be your family, you just have to protect yourself from it, you don't have to leave it."