What is the right age for your child to get their first smartphone?
This question was directed by a reader of the American Forbes magazine to the writer and pediatrician Natasha Burgert, and she said, "It is impossible to link determining the best appropriate time to allocate a smartphone to children with the number of candles on their birthday cake, because using a smartphone requires social skills." Emotional, cognitive and behavioral factors differ from one child to another, regardless of age. The wide spectrum of children's ages reflects the complexity of the timing of the decision to provide them with a smartphone.
Development readiness and the rule of necessity
Expert Devorah Hettner, author of Screenwise, says that when it comes to determining the appropriate time for children to get a smartphone, there are several factors that must be taken into account to know how ready they are for this stage, and the signs of their independence and maturity.
Instead of considering a specific age as a benchmark, Burgert recommends taking a child's developmental readiness into consideration before buying them a smartphone.
By making sure of his ability to think and deal with the corresponding ideas, and his understanding of tone of voice, expression and sarcasm.
Also, from his ability to show empathy or think about others, his sense of right and wrong, adhere to boundaries, and express desires and needs, if your child begins to show these developmental skills, or there are family circumstances that make his acquisition of a smartphone necessary, then the time has come for that, according to Burgert .
Due to the rapid spread of technology, it is inevitable that children will be exposed to phones everywhere (Getty Images)
Involve the child in the decision
A child may have good reasons for having a personal phone, which makes a discussion about it useful in determining whether or not they are willing to abide by the rules.
Especially when it includes some questions to ask before getting the phone, according to both Burgert and Hettner,
the most important of which are the following:
Why do you need your own smartphone, and what are you going to use it for?
How much time do you use the phone per day?
And are there times when you can do without using it?
What are the rules for using the phone at school, and what are you going to do with it there?
What did you enjoy before you got the phone, and how will you continue to enjoy it, after you get it?
What consequences do you expect if you lose your phone?
And if you are not comfortable with the child answering your questions or you find yourself not ready to give him the phone, it is okay to delay this step.
But if your decision is to refuse, it is better to define your child clearly, the steps or behaviors that you expect from him, and help him understand exactly what you want, in order to give him another chance.
Set clear limits on when your child may use the phone (Shutterstock)
Smartphone alternatives
"Given the rapid spread of technology, it is inevitable that children will be exposed to phones everywhere," says Kathryn Perlman, author of "First Phone" and a certified social worker.
Until your child is ready to use a smartphone, it's best not to deprive them of other options to connect and communicate safely.
Wi-Fi-connected tablets or digital watches, such as the Apple Watch, can be used to text and play with friends.
7 parental obligations
And Borgert recommends that parents say: If you see your child ready to go through the experience, or it is a family necessity to buy him a smartphone, you must take these parental obligations into account:
Do your part as a parent,
by checking your child's phone activity, reading texts, checking pictures, and social media apps.
Set up your child's phone
so that they only have the features they need;
Then add more features, as vigilant and committed as he can be.
Use the parental controls
in the phone's operating system to help your child stay out of danger and limit their daily use, as the family chooses.
Set clear limits
on when the phone may be used or vice versa, such as keeping the phone out of the child's bedroom during the night, or away from the dinner table, as Burgert considers these periods without the phone important for developing the child's ability to self-regulate its use.
Set clear consequences before
you actually give the phone to your child, including what will happen if they lose or break their phone, or if they violate the rules of use established by the family;
But without threatening the child, or manipulating him.
Check regularly how the phone affects your child's real life,
learn how they use the phone and what they benefit from it, support things that add value to their daily life, and help them avoid applications or experiences that seem unhelpful.
"Because apps tend to be addictive in nature, while other activities tend to decline with phone use," says expert Marnie Rebelo.
Observe your child's mood and behaviour,
whether the phone affects them mentally or emotionally, or reflects their discomfort;
And if you notice significant changes in his usual conditions, it may be time to step back and wait.
Regularly check the impact of the phone on your child's real life (Getty Images)
Steps to follow
While the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends "limiting the use of electronic media by children 6 years of age and older";
Research has shown that the majority of children get their first smartphone around the age of 10, and that by the age of 12, 50% of children have social media accounts.
According to the Pew Research Center, only 16% of parents think that children up to the age of 9 should be allowed to have their own phones.
As for technology billionaire Bill Gates, none of his children were allowed to have a private phone until the age of 14.
But Burgert says there is no set age or preference for a child to have a mobile phone;
But it is scientific methods and steps that must be followed to bring this powerful tool into his life, along with our help and support;
Most children can enjoy the benefits and fun that a smartphone provides them.