Disappointment is one of the most common feelings for people with fertility problems;

Because of a cycle of hopelessness and waiting that recurs every month for something that is unknown when, or if or not, it will happen.

Couples often feel isolated, due to heart-wrenching social pressures, such as seeing other couples with their children, or some celebrating pregnancy news on social media.

Gina Torosi, assistant professor at Columbia University Fertility Center, says that the first step in the search for a treatment for infertility is for the couple to realize that it is a disease, and that looking at it in this way can reduce the stress that the problem places on their relationship, although this is not the case for every couple facing Infertility to the same degree, but it is certainly an experience not without suffering.

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John Summers (Australian paramedic, author of The Man's Guide to Infertility, with his wife Laura) tells us that "infertility affects men both emotionally and physically, as well as having a major impact on the lives of both men and women", which can leave couples unsure how to support Each other, under the pressure of feelings that may take the form of conflict "because of anxiety or depression resulting from suffering from infertility, or what some fertility treatments may cause hormonal changes and mood swings."

Because the experience can be painful, and both spouses need the same support;

Experts on the "Fatherly" website have provided some solutions that should be taken into consideration, to reduce the deep sense of frustration associated with delayed childbearing.

Men's feelings about infertility run deeper than many realize (Shutterstock)

Focus on taking care of yourself

Infertility therapist Deborah Simmons notes that many of her male patients have deeper feelings of infertility than we think, feeling ashamed and embarrassed that they can't have children, and pass on their family name.

Although a man is most traumatized and guilt-free, when he is diagnosed with infertility, he does not think about taking care of himself as much as he cares about supporting his wife.

Also, we find doctors focus more on the wife, because she may become pregnant or suffer an abortion, while husbands are often seen as their role is limited to providing support only.

"I always ask a man about his support for his wife, and after he tells me, I ask him, 'Who supports you?' Tears well in his eyes, and he says, 'Nobody'," Simmons says.

So, as infertility psychiatrist William de Pittock says it's important for a man to take care of himself, to take care of his wife well, and for his own care to include "establishing an external support system, from a friend, family member, therapist, or some infertile person."

Fertility and endocrinologist Michael Guarnacia stressed that "couples should support each other in every way possible, and make sure they get the individual support they need."

Show affection while respecting privacy

Men like to be strong, they do not show their weakness or affection, but at the same time they hate feeling helpless in front of women, which pushes them to break into a problem, to try to solve it without being asked, and without realizing that “women often just want to be the husband.” close to her, without doing anything to make her feel better.

It would also be helpful for the wife to hear something like "It hurts to see you hurt, I love you", or "You'll be better, I'll stay by your side and not go anywhere, and we'll get through this together."

And because fertility treatment is often physically and psychologically exhausting, Keenan advises "that the husband remain present, share the wife's feelings, without interfering, trying to do something he was not asked to do."

Empathize and avoid blaming or accusations

It is important for a man not to take it personally, to be generous, and to show empathy when a woman expresses negative feelings such as "You don't care", even though he does.

And the woman should avoid blaming or accusations when talking about fertility problems, and remember that they are partners in the goal of pregnancy and childbearing, which each is doing his best to achieve.

Take some time to talk about infertility and take steps to take care of yourself and your spouse as much as you can (Shutterstock)

Don't let fertility problems swallow your time

“It is useful to spend the time discussing the way forward with fertility, but making time to focus on other things, such as a delicious meal at a park or beach, without the fertility issue,” says Gina Torosi.

Go beyond talking about infertility

Finally, take time to talk about infertility and take steps to take care of yourself and your spouse as much as you can, by taking the time to manage your health, finances, and relationships, and reduce your stress level.