It can be difficult for us as parents to know how to help our children when they are going through difficult situations in life that may call for major changes in their lives, so that we adults sometimes remain unable to deal with some calamity or news that is beyond the limits of our tolerance as human beings.
Because it is an integral part of life, the knowledge to adapt flexibly to the great changes that come against our will is very important for children and this requires extensive training from a young age.
Types of change that may affect your child or affect his or her behavior may include losing a dear friend, getting a new sibling, changing school, and of course the death of a close person, living with parental conflict at home or their divorce.
Playing some games where the child faces simple challenges helps children understand that obstacles are an important component of any life experience (Getty Images)
Some of these events can be very stressful for children, and because we are so busy and affected by what is happening that we often have no idea how best to help our children.
Therefore, preparing children in advance for life's difficulties even before they are exposed to them is important, and this may be through some simple things that Allprodad offers:
Equip them with the right capabilities.
Give them motivation, self-confidence, perseverance, faith, strength of character, sound judgment and experience in solving small problems.
Playing problem-solving games as a family.
Playing some games where the child faces simple challenges such as searching for a hidden person and puzzle games, helps children understand that obstacles are an important component of any life experience.
Teach them to take responsibility
Many parents avoid responsibility for their children, pamper them and do not allow them to contribute to family life, and this type of children is very shocked when they face real difficulties in life.
Don't promote giving up
Never solve a problem for your child if he can solve it on his own with some guidance and encouragement.
It is important for the child to overcome the problem and achieve success rather than admit defeat.
Here are some supportive tips that can help your child through a major crisis:
Be a role model in managing your emotions
Children look to their parents for cues on how to respond to a difficult situation.
If they see you panicked, they will think the situation is scary, and if you're not coping well, they'll think they can't handle the situation like you.
So it's a good idea to let your child know how you're feeling while showing them how to manage those feelings.
They need to know that you can handle your feelings so they can feel safe to trust you to handle their emotions too.
Give them time to get ready
Big changes in life happen without warning of course, but if you have the opportunity to prepare your child in advance for some expected events it is best to do so.
Let them know ahead of time what will happen and help them understand what to expect.
Take them on a tour of their new school and talk to them about what will happen on the day they move into the new home.
Children find the unknown frightening so reduce their anxiety by giving them every detail possible.
Listen to their concerns
It's normal for your child to feel sad, frustrated or disappointed, so it's important to acknowledge the difficult situation and all the big feelings he's feeling.
Take time to address your child's questions and fears and help him deal with the feelings he's feeling.
Often children simply want to empathize, understand, acknowledge and validate their feelings without rushing to distract them or trying to shield them from their emotions.
It is important to acknowledge the difficulty of the situation and all the great feelings that children have (Shutterstock)
Understand their emotions
Oftentimes as parents we feel like telling our children not to worry, insisting that everything will be OK, and trying to protect them from the pain by convincing them that it is “not important” or by distracting them from their feelings.
We often think that focusing too much on difficult feelings will make it worse, but the opposite is true.
When our children feel that we understand their great emotions, they feel validated and are able to process and heal them. For example, say to your child, “Losing your friend is hard, I know you are sad and I am sad too, but you will get through it.”
Stick to the routine
It is important to stick to your child's normal daily routine whenever possible, as this will help him feel safe and prevent further stress.
Sticking to family meal times, a regular bedtime routine, and known family traditions are especially important during times of great change.
It creates a steady, predictable rhythm for your child.
Focus on communication
When your child's life seems unfamiliar and scary, what he needs most is you.
He should know that despite all the other changes in his life, you and your relationship with him will remain the same.
This is the time to focus on connecting with your child, play his favorite game or read a book together and cook his favorite meal.