We cannot always cut off a relationship with someone who goes beyond his limits in dealing with us, as he is either a relative of your husband or wife, a co-worker, or a member of your family, which prompts you in advance to build healthy boundaries in dealing, and stick to them to take care of your psychological safety and privacy and avoid the accumulation of anger and conflict With others, or sacrificing in relationships to the point of making us victims of exploitation, feel free to follow these tips to set boundaries with others:
Know your limits first
We may only think about setting limits for others when they upset us, but limits are not only for bad guys, but our internal systems for alerting against the danger of emotional and psychological exhaustion with family and friends and for maintaining the health of our relationships at home and work.
We build our boundaries based on our principles, upbringing, traditions, and self-awareness, and they differ from one individual to another. Psychology Central has identified 5 different types of boundaries: physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, and financial.
Physical boundaries determine the extent to which you accept touches, hugs, kisses, and handshakes in public places. Intellectual boundaries are about your thoughts and beliefs. Emotional boundaries indicate your willingness or unwillingness to share your feelings about something with a particular person. Financial boundaries begin by asking you about your salary and what you spend your money on. It ends with a request for money.
Know your rights
Healthline advises you to identify 10 important values for you, such as not touching without permission, giving the right to its owners, refusing to bully, or respecting leisure time away from work, and think about the number of times those values have been violated, to make it clear to you the limits that You have to build it.
Knowing your basic rights helps you to outline, such as the right to be treated with respect, the right to say “no” without guilt, the right to be concerned with your own needs as you do others, and the right not to meet all the expectations of others.
This is within your physical limits. A stranger has no right to approach you for more than a meter, and this is measured by the distance of your arm forward. Likewise, a relative does not have the right to raise a controversial topic and provoke you to say an opinion that he knows is contrary to the opinion of the rest of your relatives.
Build your limits slowly
Do not rush to define your limits under feelings of anger and hatred, because you will turn to the opposite of who you were, which will be a heavy burden on you and others. Relatives, friends, or co-workers, and you felt unjustified distress to the extent you went beyond and you weren't aware of the reason.
Reflecting on your life situations will give you the ability to slowly set and build healthy, non-extreme boundaries to reflect on whether you are heading in the right direction or need to make some adjustments and stick to them instead of building high, fragile walls that alienate the people around us and are difficult for us to protect.
Don't rush to define your limits under feelings of anger and hatred (Getty Images)
be firm
If someone violates your boundaries, it is because they are not clear or they want to harass you, so we must be clear and firm because we do not know the reason. Act that way with me.
These clear statements show your confidence and express your thoughts and feelings firmly and gently without blaming or threatening the other. They also give him an opportunity to review his behavior if he is well-intentioned, and give you an opportunity to monitor his behavior later to determine his intention to get close to you.
say "no"
A person who respects his limits and abilities receives a lot of criticism. He is selfish and does not like to help others, or is preoccupied with himself, or it is difficult to take something from him, let alone those who say “no.”
That criticism is nothing but an attempt by others to break your limits, shake your principles, and push you to say “yes” out of shame at their urgency, because it is what we used to say throughout our childhood years, or because you are “good-hearted” and easy-going.
Living without “no” is like living as a servant to satisfy the desires of others, they ask you for things that you do not dream of, but you put them in a luxury item, or at least it will be difficult for you to say “no” when you are on the verge of physical and psychological stress, and you will feel guilty if you do not fulfill their demand in exchange for your safety.
You should not be rude when rejecting a request that crosses the lines of its intent, and a report on Psychology Today suggests the wording of the "sandwich" for rejection, in which you start and end your sentence with something positive and pass the rejection phrase in the middle, such as saying "I wish I could do the work for you, unfortunately I won't My time allows for extra work, I wish you a happy holiday with family and children."
Criticism is nothing but an attempt by others to break your boundaries, shake your principles, and push you to say “yes” out of shame (communication sites)
I respect your feelings
How many times have we left a place where we felt uncomfortable after a discussion with close people and did not know the reason until we accused ourselves of exaggeration and sensitivity, this is called intuition, when our instincts alert us to the violation of our limits or our need to build boundaries so as not to feel offended.
These alerts appear in a high heart rate, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, upset stomach, rubbing of the hands, pressure on molars, nosebleeds, detachment from reality and distracted thought.
Our body alerts us to our need to love ourselves more, and if your inner voice tells you that you are exaggerating and do not deserve people to respect your limits, resist that voice and engage in activities that increase your happiness, such as running, singing, or any activity you love, to raise the level of happiness hormones and positive thinking within you.