"I feel like my world is falling apart. And I'm really scared," said the former third center line to 75 selections, including 33 as captain.
The diagnosis was given to him in December by doctors who told him that this early dementia was probably linked to chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated shocks to the head.
The specialists consulted even admitted to him that he was among the worst cases they had seen, the newspaper said.
"I've lived 15 years of my life as a superhero, but I'm not one. I don't know what the future holds. I'm the product of an environment where everything revolves around to be functional and efficient. I am no longer able to perform as I should," he said.
Welsh captain Ryan Jones, flanked by Gethin Jenkins (L) and Adams Jones, poses with the Six Nations trophy after winning the Grand Slam by beating France (16-9), March 17, 2012 at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff ADRIAN DENNIS AFP/Archives
"All I want is to live a happy, normal life. But that's been taken away from me and there's nothing I can do. I can't train harder, I can't try to ride the referee, I don't know the rules of this game," continued the player, who was initially thought to be depressed.
"Whether it was my partner or my family, they were noticing changes in me. I was diagnosed with depression but started to realize that some of my intellectual functions were bad," such as short-term memory loss. term, difficulty finding words or mood swings.
He told how, despite pictures of him with his children at Pen y Fan, the highest peak in Wales, he has no memory of taking them there.
The neurologist following him was not very optimistic when explaining to him that his functions would probably continue to decline at the same rate as over the past 5 years.
If he did not speak of joining the complaint of several former rugby players against the sports authorities for their action deemed insufficient on the question of concussions, Jones is very critical of the current situation.
"It's like walking with your head forward and your eyes closed towards a catastrophic situation," he summed up.
© 2022 AFP