Amman-
Each of us goes through successful or unsuccessful personal life experiences, which in fact may not mean failure, as it is an experience, but its results do not correspond to our dreams and aspirations and what reality requires of multiple needs.
Parents are keen to paint an ideal picture in front of their children, and that they did not make mistakes, and that they are distinguished, and sometimes this is far from the truth and reality.
Do parents deliberately hide mistakes or failed life experiences from their children, or do they share them talking about them “even if they are embarrassing or harsh”?
Al Jazeera Net interviewed educators to talk about the importance of these experiences.
Narrating the experiences in front of the children reveals to them that a person may make mistakes sometimes, but he must learn from his mistakes (Pixels)
Experiences are lessons, not to be taken lightly
Employee Reem Selim, 48, believes that any experience or station in which parents stumbled should be taken advantage of, and talked about in a way that directs children to choose the right path of their living experiences.
She says, "We should not underestimate the challenges we have gone through, because they are intersections of many factors that caused us to stop at them, such as meeting the desires of others and not having sufficient maturity, the speed of change around us and keeping pace with developments."
Abu Alaa shares the fiftieth opinion by saying, "Honesty, clarity, and frankness in recounting any experience that helps children approach their families, communicate with them and benefit from their experience, if presented without authoritarianism, because there is no specific path for life and success in it."
Abu Alaa believes that it is possible to present the experiences as an example to take the lesson, and not to be a fingerprint to belittle it, because of the strong influence of the children on what the fathers do;
A father who talks about his failure in mathematics instills in his son's mind that it is difficult.
He continues that he must indicate that it is easy for him to study all the subjects, but his acceptance of this subject is not easy. It may be due to many factors between school and home, or to his special abilities, as individual differences differ from one person to another.
Sharing with children the successful and failed experiences of parents is a very important educational step (Shutterstock)
Experience and growth stage
Bashir Nasrallah expresses his opinion by saying, "Reporting any experience in a manner that is appropriate to the children's stage of development and at an appropriate time helps them take into account the experience and reflect on the reasons for failure and the challenges that he faced."
He states that what he failed in, others succeeded in it, and this is not a defect, and it is possible for him to reconsider his career even after a while, and he is fortunate that he tried life in this aspect that he refined, and considered it.
It shows that it is a path that requires perseverance, a challenge and has its own factors, and it is necessary to search for them to move forward;
Frankness at the right time is the key to the clear light, and not looking from the door opening with fear and eavesdropping on the paths of success, as he put it.
Nasrallah adds that "challenges are only an integral part of shaping human thought and future culture. Without shame and with pride, we share our life heritage with our children, and we will obtain joyful results that contribute to managing their lives, God willing."
Showing our image in front of our children in a humane way is very true and realistic (Pixabe)
Successful and unsuccessful experiences
About the children’s participation in the successful and failed experiences of parents, family medicine consultant Dr. Ashraf Al-Salihi says, “It is a very important educational step in psychology, as children learn and acquire knowledge in several ways and schools. The American Skinner - and the third is the school of learning by observation and social perception - and its pioneer is the Canadian scientist Albert Bandura.
He added, "When parents share their experiences and experiences, they are doing very effectively and practically, teaching their children the positives and negatives of the experiences the parents went through. Here, attention should be paid to discussing the wrong experiences, not just mentioning and telling them."
Al-Salihi: It is necessary to focus on arranging the story with an educational purpose and not to mention unimportant details (Al-Jazeera)
Steps to discuss experiences
The consultant Al-Salihi mentions the steps for discussing experiences, which are: (recognition, narration, discussion, and lessons learned.
In the beginning, parents have to admit that they made a mistake, and that what they will tell their children is something they are not proud of, but rather an experience they had when their mental age was less than today and their decisions were immature.
Parents tell their story, focusing on arranging the story for an educational purpose and not mentioning unimportant details or deviating from the intended meaning of learning.
Parents allow the children to discuss this story and listen to their opinion, and how they would have acted if such a story happened to them.
Lessons learned are developed for which the traumatic experience is shared with the children.
Not being afraid of failure
Al-Salihi says, "We must not forget that showing our image in front of our children in a humane way is very true and realistic, and corrects their misconception that their parents are "impartial" from mistakes. Rather, this method allows children to discover life and not be afraid of failure, and teaches them that a person may make mistakes sometimes. This is not up to him, but he must learn from his mistakes.
He adds, "One of the benefits of this method is that it raises the child's confidence in himself, so he stops fearing failure or error, and goes to life with the mentality of the discoverer, who wants to learn even if he makes mistakes sometimes. Only prophets are infallible from mistakes."