After a spring rain, the locust blossoms in front of my house opened.
That day was the day when Siyuan's younger brother Xiao Rongji enlisted in the army.
Early in the morning, he picked up his luggage and turned to say goodbye to me and his father. This scene is very similar to when Siyuan left home when he was a soldier.
As I waved goodbye and smelled the faint scent of acacia flowers in the air, I knew that if Siyuan was still there, I would definitely feel homesick.
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Our son Xiao Siyuan has been sacrificed for almost two years.
Every time when the locust blossoms are full of trees, we can always evoke our deep nostalgia for him.
Six years ago, Siyuan, who had just entered the third year of his junior year, heard the news of the conscription, and immediately asked for leave to go home.
After registration and physical examination, Siyuan successfully passed the conscription assessment.
The night before his departure, Siyuan sat next to me and his father and chatted for a long time.
His father said: "Being in the army is hard work, you have to take care of yourself." I told him: "Being a soldier is an honor, it belongs to you and also belongs to us." Listening to our words, Siyuan nodded frequently.
He stretched out his hand and pulled his younger brother Jung-ki, who was arguing, "I'm going to be a soldier too," and our family hugged tightly.
The next day, Siyuan, wearing a red flower on his chest, set foot on the distant army column.
For my father Siyuan and me, Siyuan has been our pride since childhood.
We live in the countryside, and our landowner is mainly looked after by Siyuan's father alone.
When Siyuan was four or five years old, no one cared about him when he was busy in the spring, so he stayed at home obediently, not running around or crying.
When I get up in the morning, I cook, and Siyuan happily helps me.
Siyuan grew up slowly and went to school.
In his spare time, he went to work with us in the fields, hoeing, mowing, and sometimes even drinking water and eating in order to work.
His father saw that the thin Siyuan couldn't wield a hoe, so he converted a weeder out of an abandoned bicycle for him to use.
Now that the spring is busy, Siyuan's father will still take out the lawnmower to repair it, push it to the field when he is busy, and put it under the locust tree at the door of the house when he is free.
Sometimes, Siyuan's father would quietly look at the lawnmower in a trance.
I know that he is thinking about his son, who is usually taciturn.
To this day, Siyuan's father still often says: "Everyone else's children want gifts, why does our Siyuan always want to work?" When the wheat harvest came, Siyuan was shirtless and barefoot. Jumping up and down the wheat field, reddened from the sun, dry and peeling lips.
Whenever he sees his dad working with me, he immediately runs over to help.
At a young age, Siyuan can always do his job well.
One summer, Siyuan's father was accidentally injured while driving a tractor and could not get out of bed for a while.
I looked at the wheat that was drying in the yard, and I was in trouble.
In the evening, I prepared meals and put them on the table, and let Siyuan, who was home from school, eat and do homework first.
Ke Siyuan was reluctant to eat first.
He picked up the shovel and started packing wheat with me.
A bag full of wheat weighed about 50 kilograms, so Siyuan tried his best to drag bag by bag into the house, and then pile it up bit by bit.
Nearly 10,000 catties of wheat and 100 sacks were piled up layer after layer, and our mother and son were busy until late at night.
When the pockets were lined up neatly, I looked at Siyuan, whose eyes were so tired, that I was really distressed.
Before going to bed, Siyuan’s shoulders were so swollen that he couldn’t help stroking his brother who was sleeping beside him. He turned around and said to me, “Mom, don’t worry, there is still me at home.” From that day on, I realized that my thoughts He has grown into a man.
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A few years later, Siyuan went to college and left home, and Rongji grew up slowly.
The family later had a harvester.
But every time I was busy with farming, Siyuan's figure who was working that night would always appear in front of my eyes.
When I was tired, I could vaguely hear him say, "Mom, take a break, I'll help you."
At that time, the biggest concern of Siyuan, who was studying abroad, was at home.
In order to subsidize the family, Siyuan went out to work during the first winter vacation.
He received 800 yuan for the first salary, and when he got home, he gave us 500 yuan.
His father said, "Your mother and I don't want your money." I asked him to keep a little more, but he refused on the grounds that he "can't spend it".
My father and I knew that it was impossible to spend, but reluctant to spend.
Every vacation since then, Siyuan always hurried home, and then went out to work in a hurry.
He worked as a security guard, worked as a waiter, moved cement, and carried tiles, and every time he sent home most of his salary.
"Such a child, how many lifetimes of blessings do you have to cultivate!" Grandma Siyuan was very excited every time she mentioned Siyuan.
"Your children know that they feel sorry for their parents, they are filial, sensible and capable." People in the village will always praise Siyuan's father when they meet him.
We know in our hearts that the older the child, the further away from home they will be.
At that time, no matter where Siyuan went, at the end of the spring, my father and I would pick off a bag of Sophora japonica and send it to Siyuan after drying, so that Siyuan would not worry about us too much.
After Siyuan first arrived in the army, he has a lot of work and heavy tasks, and it is rare to have the opportunity to call home.
On the phone, he always did not forget to ask how our health was, how my brother was studying, and whether the crops at home were growing well.
His father was afraid of delaying Siyuan's work, so he would hang up after saying a few words, "I'm fine at home" and "You have to behave well."
But I can deeply feel that Siyuan has a lot of words in his stomach.
After Siyuan enlisted in the army, on the 1st of every month, I would always receive a message from Siyuan: "Mom, the allowance has been credited to the family card, and you can spend whatever you want!" Because I know that my father and I live frugally and are reluctant to spend For money, Siyuan sometimes buys things and sends them home.
His father complained that "this child is spending money indiscriminately", but after receiving the courier, he couldn't help but gleefully told his neighbors.
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In May 2020, Jung-ki counted the days when his brother went home from vacation every day.
Siyuan's father was also very happy in those days, looking forward to waiting for Siyuan to come back and "drink two cups with his son".
Early in the morning of May 7, I received a "520" red envelope from Siyuan.
Later, he called: "Dad, Mom, I'm going to perform a mission, I wish my mother a happy Mother's Day in advance..." After a few words, Siyuan hung up the phone.
Time passed quickly, and everything seemed like yesterday.
It never occurred to me that this would be our last call.
A month later, Siyuan sacrificed for his country.
Holding the cotton-padded coat that Siyuan wore when he sacrificed, I blamed myself for not seeing him more when Siyuan was at home, and for not asking him a few more words before hanging up the phone.
After a long time, I had auditory hallucinations on the phone, and the ringtone rang, and I always thought it was Siyuan calling.
I can't help but hope my son is playing a joke on me.
If he is safe, even if he does not go home every year, my heart will be happy.
I fantasize about going back to the past, pushing open the door, and hearing Siyuan's words "Mom, wash your hands and eat"; when I go to the field, I can see Siyuan pushing the lawnmower forward; at the dining table, I can hear Siyuan persuades his father to drink less...
Siyuan on the portrait smiled brightly.
He once said that the border of the motherland is the most beautiful place. If he chooses again, he will still choose the border firmly.
His father said that Siyuan got his wish and we should be proud of him.
For me, Siyuan gave his life for the frontier he loves, which is honorable and I should be gratified.
Young-ki said that his brother was his pride.
We encouraged him to join the army and serve the country. He said that he also wanted to go to the place where his brother fought and continue to fight, to take over his brother's steel gun and continue the career that his brother loves.
Now, Rongji has embarked on the road that Siyuan has traveled, and set off with the entrustment of our whole family.
We believe that he can, like his brother, do his job well and do what a soldier should do.
Liu Lixia
(Organized by Zongheng and Li Rongrong)