Berta Vázquez: "I have learned a lot from toxic relationships"

The actress from the series 'Vis a vis' makes her debut as a poet with the book 'Sometimes I am the night'.

In these times of tyranny of the image, she demands that young people read and write.

What do you want to tell us in this first collection of poems? It is a very personal and honest book.

During the pandemic, I uploaded a video reciting a poem and it got a lot of views.

So, the Espasa publishing house made me the proposal.

You wrote it with the help of a coach, what did he teach you?He told me that I had to take material from my day to day life and find my voice.

Mariano Blatt discovered for me that rhyme has already been lost and that you can write about profound things that are in everyday life. Do you think the public will take your facet as a writer seriously? I haven't given it much thought.

I have made a proposal from the heart.

There will be people who connect with the book and others who don't.

At this time when technology and image have taken center stage, I want to claim that young and creative people do not stop reading and writing.

Throughout the book you state that your favorite language is silence. A very good friend of mine told me that when she met me it made her nervous because I was quiet.

When you can be silent with another person, it creates a very intimate atmosphere.

That need to talk all the time leaves no room for other more subtle things.

When there is a silence, you let yourself be seen more. Bukowski affirmed that the world's libraries have fallen asleep from boredom.

What famous author tires you? Oops, what a danger!

This question is tricky. It could be a classic book that we studied at school. Well, what I am about to say is horrible.

I shouldn't say it.

That need to talk all the time leaves no room for other more subtle things.

When there is a silence, you let yourself be seen more. Bukowski affirmed that the world's libraries have fallen asleep from boredom.

What famous author tires you? Oops, what a danger!

This question is tricky. It could be a classic book that we studied at school. Well, what I am about to say is horrible.

I shouldn't say it.

That need to talk all the time leaves no room for other more subtle things.

When there is a silence, you let yourself be seen more. Bukowski affirmed that the world's libraries have fallen asleep from boredom.

What famous author tires you? Oops, what a danger!

This question is tricky. It could be a classic book that we studied at school. Well, what I am about to say is horrible.

I shouldn't say it.

it's an incredible book, but when they send you to read that piece of book, which is a brick, at that age, you're not ready to understand it.

At those moments it's like: "My God, I don't want to read this! I don't understand anything." Daughter of an Ethiopian father and a Ukrainian mother, does what happens in Ukraine especially hurt you? The truth is that it does.

Reading about war is not the same as living it.

It's been a very stressful few weeks because we've had to react quickly to get people out of there.

You also talk about the walls that one builds to protect oneself.

Have you had to lift many? Yes.

When traumatic things happen to us, wounds are generated.

Many times to survive we cover them up, deny them and push forward.

But then they repeat themselves because we haven't worked on what happens to us inside.

Those walls are a way to hide our pain or sadness.

But that part needs to come out to heal. Have you been going to therapy for a while? Seven years.

I've been searching for a long time without getting tired, well yes I've gotten tired, for the person with whom I connected and who felt that the time I'm with her I undergo a transformation.

Many times with therapists the years go by and you keep thinking about the same thing.

I have found an incredible woman and for me that little time a week has changed me a lot.

It seems to me very necessary to have someone to help you bring order to your inner chaos. What should be done so that mental health stops being a taboo subject? I would remove all the negative because we are always condemning people who have a mental problem.

We should think that it can happen to anyone.

In primitive societies they honor what we call mental illness.

People who have these changes in consciousness are mediums or have a healing role in their community.

Here they are marginalized because we do not understand them.

Maybe these people have psychic abilities or uncontrolled spiritual awakening that the rest of us don't have.

Love occupies much of the poems.

Have you lived in toxic relationships? Yes, of course, like most people, I guess.

But I am very happy because I have learned a lot from those relationships.

That has led me to work very hard on myself because that is where I feel that I have been able to know the parts that I had to work on, reinforce or mature more.

When a relationship ends, you have to do some homework and until you do those homework, you should not start another relationship.

What must be done to avoid falling into them? The work is internal.

If you attract toxic relationships, there are probably toxic things you have learned in your life.

Until you change those attitudes, you will continue to live that reality.

When you are in a dependent relationship it is because you do not fully support yourself and you are waiting for someone to support you emotionally or financially.

You have to learn to stand up for yourself and that way you will connect with healthy people. Is fidelity overrated? For me, no.

I am attracted to a person, above all, because of the mental connection that I can have.

I am a romantic and if I am in love with someone, I don't get to look at anyone.

I am intensely focused on the person next to me. Do you feel the pressure of having to be impeccable for being a woman, a young woman and an actress? Zero.

No way!

I don't live in that archetype.

I don't wake up thinking: "I'm an actress. Let's see what I wear today."

The other day I went to the supermarket in my pajamas to buy breakfast. How many hours of training do you have to do to have a body like yours?

Do you beat yourself up a lot in the gym? Whoa!

Now I have returned to training because I needed it.

This summer I have eaten a lot and I have gained a lot of weight.

I would like to crush myself more. Now do the 'likes' matter more than the talent? Yes.

It is very sad that this is happening.

I work with brands and they tell me that I have to do Tik Tok.

And I thought: "I don't want to do Tik Tok. I don't want to get into that madness. I don't feel like it."

And they tell you that without Tik Tok, some brands are not interested in you.

So, do I dedicate myself to making videos now at home or how is it going?

It doesn't make much sense. I'm a tree, I'm a knife...

You have a poem called 'Soy'.

Who is Berta Vázquez? Oh, I couldn't tell you!

It is very difficult to describe yourself.

I am a very normal, simple and very curious person.

I am very introspective and reflective, but I like to use this intensity to improve.

I am at a time when I value caring for friendship very much.

At 20 years old everything revolves around oneself, but then values ​​change. How was your experience in 'Vis a vis'? Now, with the perspective of time, I see the value that the series had for the evolution of the fiction on television in Spain.

It was a

I am at a time when I value caring for friendship very much.

At 20 years old everything revolves around oneself, but then values ​​change. How was your experience in 'Vis a vis'? Now, with the perspective of time, I see the value that the series had for the evolution of the fiction on television in Spain.

It was a

I am at a time when I value caring for friendship very much.

At 20 years old everything revolves around oneself, but then values ​​change. How was your experience in 'Vis a vis'? Now, with the perspective of time, I see the value that the series had for the evolution of the fiction on television in Spain.

It was a

like a school.

It's not like a shoot where you have a lot of time to rehearse.

There you have to wake up and be very fast and creative.

It has been a very transgressive series with real women of all colors and shapes.

All the companions are very close friends, like a family.

We have an indestructible bond. You have said that you watched how Najwa Nimri had everything under control, while you did not know how to do certain things.

What did you learn from her? Najwa is a very free person, very authentic and very unconventional.

She is not afraid of anything.

She always told me: "Music heals you. It's the only thing you have left."

In the moments in which I have had doubts about wanting to do something and not daring, she has always been the person who told me: "You have to do it now".

You have also reported that in your first jobs you were too focused on getting along with the team.

Is pleasing everyone too distracting? Yes, in the end, it's wasting your energy.

This happens to a lot of people.

You want to make the best impression of yourself because people have expectations of what you will be like: Will you be likeable?

edge?

You yourself generate pressure that you have to show that you are natural and close.

Actually, you don't have to do that.

You have to be focused and do your job.

You don't have to impress anyone. What has been your best outtake?

Will it be nice?

edge?

You yourself generate pressure that you have to show that you are natural and close.

Actually, you don't have to do that.

You have to be focused and do your job.

You don't have to impress anyone. What has been your best outtake?

Will it be nice?

edge?

You yourself generate pressure that you have to show that you are natural and close.

Actually, you don't have to do that.

You have to be focused and do your job.

You don't have to impress anyone. What has been your best outtake?

With my partner Vito Sanz it was very complicated because they gave us fits of uncontrolled laughter.

We hit it off so well and had such a wacky sense of humor, he was like my brother.

We had sex scenes and it was like, "I can't do this with you."

In one of the sex scenes in that movie it was very difficult to be in that energy because we kissed each other and started crying with laughter. Has #MeToo changed the way of filming?

Have you noticed any progress? I think so.

In the United States, the figure of the coordinator has been created, which did not exist before, for intimate sex scenes.

If the actor feels uncomfortable or disagrees with something, he can discuss it in confidence with the coordinator so that he can pass it on to the director.

It is no longer the actor who goes directly to the director to say: "Hey, I don't feel well."

This was somewhat of a conflict because the director always wants to do his scene.

It is a way of protecting the integrity of the actors.

Many times you have to give in to things that are uncomfortable. On a shoot you would not have wanted to do certain things? Yes, many times.

'Vis a vis' was a series where the first day they sat us all at a table and warned us that it had many nude and sex scenes.

They told us that they had to do it that way because that was the aim of the series: to be as realistic as possible. Was the shooting hard? The day I read the rape scene I got scared.

She had to be naked and in some complicated positions.

And I thought: "How am I going to do this in front of 70 people from the team looking at me? I don't want to do this. This is a circus."

I had to fight a lot to change that scene and certain lines and things in the script.

I got them to cover my most intimate parts with a few pieces of cloth.

I tried to protect myself as much as possible, but at the moment of shooting it is a very strong situation.

You are very exposed. It is true that 'Vis a Vis' had very strong scenes. Yes, it was complicated.

We supported each other a lot and when one of us felt uncomfortable, we joined forces and coped. You say that happiness is an invention of capitalism. Yes.

In one day I can have bright thoughts and then I get deep and melancholic ideas.

Happiness is a utopia.

I don't think it's a natural state for anyone.

Even the children cry and get angry.

The philosophers who inspire me have discovered that there are other paths such as responsibility: being responsible for your life,

of your obligations and doing things with meaning.

When you do things with meaning, you feel fulfilled.

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