China Overseas Chinese Network March 19th telegram: Chinese parents pay attention! The educational method of "no success," is not advisable!
There is an old saying in China, "Being beaten is a matter of personal scolding and love. If you don't beat and scold you, you won't become a talent."
Many Chinese parents are also more willing to choose this way to let their children know their mistakes and correct them.
But did you know?
Using Chinese-style "traditional" tutoring to bring children overseas not only may not get support and understanding, but such "good intentions" will make Chinese parents severely punished and even imprisoned.
No, a few days ago, a Chinese father in Japan, Xiao Zhang, was fined 300,000 yen for beating his children.
According to Japan's "Chinese Herald", the cause of the incident was that Zhang asked his four-year-old son to get up in the morning to go to the nursery, but his son often dawdled because he didn't wake up.
Seeing that he was going to be late for work, Xiao Zhang pinched his son.
Unexpectedly, the kindergarten teacher noticed that the child's arm was blue and purple, and directly called the police, saying that the child was suspected of being abused by the parents.
The picture shows that the Sunset Park in Brooklyn, New York was covered with heavy snow, and Chinese families shared the snowy time.
(Photo by American "World Daily"/Yan Jien)
In the end, Xiao Zhang was convicted of "harm".
According to Article 204 of the Japanese Criminal Code, the crime of injury is punishable by a fixed-term imprisonment of not more than 15 years and a fine of not more than 500,000 yen.
Although Xiao Zhang was freed from prison, he was ordered to pay a fine and was told by the relevant local authorities that he would not be able to apply for permanent residence within five years.
You should know that in Japan, the "Child Abuse Prevention Act" stipulates that "those who believe that there is abuse must be reported", and prohibits parents from corporal punishment of children, such as "letting children sit for a long time", "no dinner", "spanking", etc. All are classified as corporal punishment and are expressly prohibited.
At the same time, verbal violence is also included in the standard of abuse.
In fact, all countries in the world attach great importance to the protection of children.
For example, the United States has a special child protection administrative agency to monitor children's rights.
If the agency assesses that the child is in danger of life-threatening, serious bodily harm or violence, the child can be taken directly from the home without parental consent, and the state can exercise temporary custody.
And "child abuse" and "neglect of care" are precisely the legal "minefields" that many Chinese families often stray into.
A Chinese American Ms. Chen was charged with child endangerment for leaving her young daughter alone at home for several hours while out playing with friends; some Chinese parents are busy with work and sometimes entrust relatives or neighbors Friends who help to pick up and drop off children will always be considered negligent in taking care of the children in the past; in order to cultivate children's independence, common behaviors such as letting older children take care of their younger siblings are also prohibited by U.S. law...
The picture shows the Staten Island College of the City University of New York holding a campus cheerleading tryout.
Source: Chinanews.com
Xiaoqiao here reminds Chinese parents that when living overseas, they must understand local laws and regulations, and find out which behaviors to discipline their children are illegal locally.
If the child is injured at home, communicate with the school in time to avoid other misunderstandings.
Second, remember not to leave children alone, as it will be considered that parents are not providing enough food or adequate medical care.
In fact, behind this kind of misunderstanding is the difference between Chinese and foreign education culture. Chinese parents express their concern in a critical way, which will intensify parent-child conflicts. There are many cases of "bear children" who call the police and arrest their parents in foreign countries. .
Data map: Chinese teenagers write their Chinese names.
Photo by Wei Jianjun
Dr. June Cao of Mind Connections Inc in New York, USA, said that most conflicts between first-generation Chinese parents and their second- or 1.5-generation children are "caused by cultural differences."
"Many parents have settled in the United States as adults, and are still used to demanding their children with traditional Chinese culture, while children who grew up overseas tend to be more inclined to American culture."
Cao Junhong said that the solution is to communicate fully between family members, understand each other's thoughts, find out the problem, and then solve it.
In short, overseas Chinese parents should realize that their children's life and growth environment are different from their own childhood, and the way of education should also be changed.
Children need to be recognized and respected by their parents.
When misunderstandings arise, try to listen carefully, communicate actively, do not interrupt children at will, and use love to resolve misunderstandings and generation gaps!
(Manuscript source: WeChat official account of China Overseas Chinese Network; ID: qiaowangzhongguo; Sources: China News Network, China Overseas Chinese Network, Japanese "Chinese Herald", American "World Journal", Overseas Network, etc., author: Jin Xu)