Despite the keenness of companies and institutions to set specific standards in employment, they - undoubtedly - do not control the feelings of employees towards each other, and therefore you may find yourself in a job with an envious colleague and it is difficult for you to know the reason for his negative behavior with you, but in fact he does not love you And always feel jealous when someone praises you.
In her article on Psychology Today, author Amy Cooper-Hakim, Ph.D. in industrial and organizational psychology, says it can be hard to see why a colleague is acting negatively.
Sometimes, a coworker's negative behavior toward you may have nothing to do with you or your performance at work.
The co-worker may have a personality disorder or act aggressively toward everyone in the office.
There may be something going on in his personal life that has nothing to do with work, but in any case, this colleague brings negative energy into the workplace, Amy added.
The envious colleague is always upset with you, feels that you do not deserve what you are, and even thinks that he should get what you have.
The worst part about envy is that it undermines the soul and consumes energy that could have been better used for the good of work or to make a place feel good.
The unfortunate thing is that the envious co-worker forces you to engage in childish battles that have no aim but to disturb your day and tarnish your image at work, and he will not give up his desire for unjustified revenge unless you confront his attacks and manage his feelings from a distance.
As a manager, distribute tasks clearly to the work team (Pixabay)
The psychology of the envious colleague
According to an article by authors Tanya Menon and Lee Thompson in the Harvard Business Review (HBR), envy is sometimes described as a social microscope.
When your co-worker is so upset about your success or the successes of others, he becomes obsessed with interacting with competitors, comparing their rewards to what he's getting, and over-analyzing the fleeting praise the boss gives to others.
Meanwhile, he tries to bolster his fragile ego at the expense of his hypothetical opponents.
The envious person focuses on the opponent until he loses his focus on his performance.
The envious satisfies himself by belittling the skills of others, for example, if you have the skill of mastering several languages, he will reduce the importance of this feature at work, and will try to belittle it in front of himself and in front of others.
The distinction of co-workers may be attributed to their handsomeness or their use of illegal methods in order to succeed, or they will justify their distinction by their relationship with their managers.
protection strategy
Don't try to get into fights with the aim of winning, don't let it drag you in its tracks, you're just trying to protect yourself without appearing as the underdog, and stick to the following tips:
During your conversations, maintain a high level of friendliness.
Do not get into an argument, especially with others present;
Because he will take the opportunity to ally with others against you.
Encourage your co-worker to set personal goals and develop his or her own skills and experience, without directing advice to him or her. This will enhance his sense of self-worth.
And he will start to take care of his affairs.
Disarm him with praise, remind your envious colleague that he has special skills that stand out from the crowd, talk admiringly about his accomplishments, and make helpful suggestions for him to think about what hasn't happened to him before.
When a coworker acts jealously, don't let his or her anger become contagious to you and affect your good judgment.
Talk about your colleague's excellence in a certain skill by working in front of his manager, preferably that skill away from the field of competition between you.
The previous weapons may not hit, and you may need to turn to human resources for help, to organize work and reduce the negative energy of the place.
Disarm your envious colleague with praises, and show admiration for his special skills that make him stand out from the crowd (Pixabay)
As a manager, how do you stop envy in your team?
On the other hand, the coworker may not envy you. You may be the manager of a team that includes an employee who is envious of his colleagues. In this case, you have to manage these problems among team members wisely, before one of their elements destroys the entire work environment.
When an employee becomes obsessed with the success of his colleagues, the work progresses, and the envier also becomes motivated to confront potential sabotage.
As a manager, do the following to defuse the crisis:
Separation of forces: When the envious feels the importance of his role, and the limits of his powers, hateful comparisons will diminish.
Clearly distribute tasks to the work team: Do not try to set common tasks that involve cooperation between two conflicting parties.
Beware of language triggers: Managers unintentionally generate envy by indicating, through subtle cues, that they value certain types of traits and successes more than others that may be less noticeable, so be especially careful about your use of language.
Explain the mechanism of fair rewards, and remember that overvaluation of an outstanding employee can create a toxic work environment.
Reward the employee for his work.
And do not make the rewards secret, in the event that the news is leaked to others, it will increase the state of congestion.