Covid-19: they privileged their convictions at the risk of moving away from their loved ones
Demonstration against the extension of the health pass in Nice, August 14, 2021. REUTERS - ERIC GAILLARD
Text by: Anne Bernas Follow
7 mins
It was THE subject "not recommended" during the end of year celebrations.
The vaccine against Covid-19 and its corollary the vaccination pass generate many controversies, exacerbate tensions, at the risk of losing friends, relatives, breaking up your couple or getting seriously angry with those around you.
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“
We were longtime friends.
Today we no longer speak.
Stéphanie recounts how she became an active campaigner against the vaccine and how her beliefs led to the loss of some loved ones.
“
I no longer talk to two or three very dear friends, I got angry with my first cousin, but too bad.
»
“
How can we stay close to people who believe all the lies we are told
,” she wonders.
Right in her boots, she makes her analysis: “
I realized that they are navel-gazers, among others.
They can't stand people complaining.
They prefer to post photos of cats and dogs on social networks.
I got angry with people in a situation of fear.
»
Discover “
the true face of people
”
Her ex-friends accused Stephanie, 55, of being selfish, saying that with people like her, herd immunity would never be achieved.
“
And it degenerated, I was accused of posting things on the networks whose sources were not reliable, then I was accused of having
entered into a struggle.
It's hard to realize that this world is rotten, but it's the truth!
We must stop being idealistic.
Verbal aggression then became rampant, so Stephanie decided to run away from those she previously thought were her friends.
However, she confides her disappointment, had difficulty in integrating the fact that the Covid-19 and the subject of vaccination took on such large proportions, unleashed passions to such an extent.
But for her, this kind of crisis makes it possible to discover “
the true face of people
”.
And Stéphanie, who managed to catch the Covid-19 voluntarily, to conclude: “
Perhaps this crisis has at least made it possible to understand who her real friends are.
»
Without concessions
The question that many people are asking is to understand why and how do we come to see families tearing apart, friendships dying?
On the side of the "antivax", many are those who explain that the length of the crisis and its "
mismanagement
" made them lose their nerves.
Axelle, in her sixties, hasn't been to the cinema for ages.
But he doesn't seem to miss it.
For the restaurant and evenings out, on the other hand, she likes to go there from time to time, “
with the vaccination pass of a friend of her age
”.
“
I am very careful, for example when I go to see my mother at the nursing home, but it is out of the question for me to vaccinate myself with a product which, moreover, is not a vaccine.
Like Stéphanie, Axelle is uncompromising on the subject, even if it means losing loved ones.
After twenty years of deep and sincere friendship, this hyperactive woman cut all ties with her friend who turned out to be pro-vaccine.
He came to call her "
unconscious and criminal
".
Today, she still wonders how some people can demolish others to such an extent.
“
It's hard to explain,
she said,
but they are really intolerant (…) We argued so much that I said stop.
It was no longer discussion, it was insults to the non-vaccinated.
“Especially since in the age of social networks, articles, comments, etc., pros like “antivax” are sweeping the Web, “
and writing is much more durable than speaking
,” confides Axel.
Like Stéphanie, she believes that this Covid-19 crisis has allowed her to know who her “
real friends
” are.
“
I will never see him again, no matter what.
It's unforgivable to be so sectarian
,” she asserts, raising her voice.
A debate that divides families and couples
On the family side, the testimonies also rain.
As soon as the subject of vaccination comes back on the table, Jean, 76 years old and vaccinated like more than 52 million French people, clashes violently with his son Robert, 50, "antivax".
The tone rises quickly, the insults fuse each time.
“
I was extremely angry when I learned that he had also caught the Covid.
I told him he was going to end up in intensive care, all because he didn't want to be vaccinated.
It's totally ridiculous
, ”he gets carried away with, despite everything, concern in his voice at the idea of losing his son in the literal sense of the word.
“
I wasn't sick, just a simple cold,
retorts Robert,
unlike some who, even vaccinated, were in very bad shape!
»
“
They don't want to be vaccinated, and too bad, we won't invite them anymore
,” Claude asserts coldly when faced with the refusal of his son and his daughter-in-law to receive messenger RNA.
Claude and his wife regret that some have made the effort to get vaccinated and that others don't care and could thus contaminate them.
"
It's irresponsible
," they say.
“
You will see in six months, in what state you will be
”
Loss of friends, family members, the debate around the vaccine and the past also got the better of love stories.
This is the tragedy experienced by Mathilde, in her sixties, vaccinated, in a relationship with an “antivax” from the first hour.
The health crisis and the debate around the vaccine has exploded their relationship.
“
The pressure appeared and increased with the coronavirus.
I got vaccinated, she was in refusal, denial, almost aggressive.
She said to me: "
You will see in six months, what state you will be in! You are real sheep".
“After two years of the Covid-19 crisis, Mathilde decides to end her relationship.
Despite the love, she could no longer bear the impossible communication around the subject which was taking up more and more space in their relationship.
The icing on the cake for Mathilde, “
she asked me for my pass so that she could avoid antigenic tests when she went to visit her dying mother in the hospital.
“However, she did not dare to confess to her ex-companion the real reason for the breakup.
“
I still have a lot of affection for her, but she doesn't want to see me again, it's too painful.
“Especially since reconciliation is unthinkable, “
I must be respected, even if I miss her enormously
”.
Freedom, values, communication…
How to explain that the only theme, certainly divisive, of vaccination against Covid-19, leads to so many heartbreaks?
“
The Covid has affected beliefs.
Beyond the vaccine, it is a subject which has opened up breaches, which has exacerbated everything that was already there
”, analyzes Béatrice Voirin, therapist in psychotherapy in the Hauts-de-Seine.
Indeed, the subject touches on fundamental values.
The value of freedom of some which begins where that of others ends.
Moreover, the pros and "antivax" have this same argument of freedom.
Moreover, explains Béatrice Voirin, they have another point in common, fear: I am faced with something that I do not control.
“
It pushed some people to the extreme, to the point that it became sectarian.
And there, it's very complicated because you are facing someone who can no longer hear you.
People do not separate as long as there is communication and exchange.
This pandemic has really weakened this dialogue, it has made us lose our bearings.
The vaccine crystallized something.
And the less we communicate, the more we resent the other.
And it ends up breaking up.
»
♦ The first names have been changed with the exception of the psychotherapy therapist
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