Negative opinions engrained in our minds since childhood, or criticism from friends, may be factors that lead to low self-esteem, a behavior experts warn of dangerous consequences for mental health.
In a report published by the French newspaper "Lefigaro", writer Segolene Barbie says that the focus on self-development and keenness on developing talents in our current societies is one of the reasons why we are very demanding towards ourselves and less listening to the voice of our feelings and inner thoughts.
The focus on self-development and keenness on developing talent in our current societies makes us less attentive to our feelings and thoughts (Pixabe)
Experts warn that a lack of self-esteem and a lack of self-compassion can be a major obstacle to achieving our goals in life, and frustrates any attempt at self-development.
Psychologists Rebecca Shankland, Maren Boschek and Jean-Baptiste Baudier, dealt with a number of recent studies published on this topic.
They emphasized that, "For more than 30 years, studies have examined the impact of self-criticism on the relationship with the self and mental health, and showed that this criticism increases self-rejection and contempt. Instead of motivating us to progress and work to solve problems, it hinders us and creates a kind of stagnation within us. ".
A study conducted by Theodore Albert Powers, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts in the United States, showed that negative self-judgment increases the tendency to procrastinate and ruminate.
Other studies have shown that self-criticism causes many psychological problems such as depression, social anxiety, and even eating disorders.
Negative thoughts when they take over your mind will ruin your life and prevent you from making any progress (Getty Images)
be your own friend
The writer says that when thoughts such as “I am nothing” or “I can never do that” or “everything that happened was because of me” take hold of your mind, it is necessary to realize that you are not on the right path, and that these thoughts will spoil your life and prevent you from making any progress.
And you should identify the source of these beliefs that threaten your psychological balance, and work to get rid of them, and it is important to realize that you believed them - not because they are true - but because they were entrenched in the subconscious for years.
In order to build a healthy and productive relationship with the self, experts advise Shankland, Bouchik, and Boudier that “ideas will ruin your life and prevent you from making any progress. You talk to yourself using statements such as 'I'm naturally not perfect' or 'I'm in a difficult situation and I try to get through it as hard as I can') ".
Negative self-criticism increases self-rejection and contempt.
Instead of motivating us to move forward, it creates a kind of stagnation within us (Getty Images)
I understand your feelings
For her part, psychologist Christelle Albaret believes that self-compassion basically requires better management of emotions, and explains, "Instead of constantly suppressing yourself, you should try to identify your feelings because they are the source of basic information that tells you about your needs."
“Let’s take for example someone who wants to be an actor and go on stage, but is afraid of being silly and not funny. The best way to avoid embarrassment would undoubtedly be not to go on stage, but that also would never make him happy. Most people make decisions to escape. out of their concerns, not to meet their needs.”
It is therefore important to give yourself a chance to get to know yourself better, to search for a life more in tune with your self-needs, and to realize that self-compassion does not mean that you will become a selfish person.
Experts Shankland and Bouchek-Baudyer confirm that "research has shown that people with a higher level of self-compassion are more considerate of others, able to provide greater support within marital relationships, and more willing to compromise in conflicts with others."