Australian nurse Bronnie Weir has spent several years working in Palliative Care, a field of care that relies on providing pain relief for elderly patients in hospital in their last days.

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which she composed from listening to the wisdom of her patients, she reveals the most common regrets we feel at the end of our lives.

At the top of this list of regrets are revelations from men, in particular, that they wished they hadn't worked so hard all their lives.

According to an article in the British newspaper "The Guardian", Weir wrote about the tremendous clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we can learn from their wisdom.

“When asked about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently if they went back in time, common themes came up over and over again,” Ware says.

The following are the 5 most important things that the elderly shared in terms of regret at the end of their lives.

  • To live my real life and not as others expected

“I wish I had the courage to live a real life with myself, not the life others expected of me.”

According to Lauer, this was the most common regret of all. When people realize their lives are about to end and look back clearly, it is easy to tell how many dreams have not come true.

Most people have not achieved even half of their dreams and have died knowing that it was because of the choices they made or did not make themselves.

Ware says health brings freedom that few realize until they lose it.

  • a little work

According to Lauer, nearly every sick man she's cared for has assured her this very thing: "I wish I hadn't worked so hard all the time." They missed sitting with their kids and enjoying the company of their wives.

Women also mentioned this, but because most of them were from an older generation, many of them weren't actually working.

“The men I have cared for are very sorry that they have spent so much of their lives in a vicious circle of work.”

Older people regret suppressing their feelings in order to keep peace with others around them (Pixabe)

  • suppression of feelings

“I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.” Many people suppress their feelings in order to maintain peace with others around them.

As a result, they remained content with their mediocre lives and never became what they were truly capable of, and many of them developed illnesses as well as the resentment they endured as a result.

  • communication

"I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends."

“Often the elderly did not really realize the benefits and badly needed old friends,” Ware says in her book. “They did not realize it until the last months or weeks before they died and there was no opportunity to track them down or reach them.”

Many of them became so trapped in their own lives that they let golden friendships slip away over the years.

There was so much regret not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved, "Everyone misses their friends when they're dying."

  • Reconciliation with oneself

"I wish I had allowed myself to be happier."

According to Lauer, "This is surprisingly common. Not many have realized until the end that happiness is a choice; they are stuck in old patterns and habits."

Fear of change made them pretend to others, and to themselves, that they were satisfied, but deep down they were "craving a decent laugh and returning to the absurdity of their lives again."

Seniors regret staying in jobs they didn't enjoy instead of pursuing their dreams (Pixabay)

Another story

Sarah Burdick, who has worked as a nurse for 16 years in intensive care and surgical units, says, “I spend a lot of time with my patients and have enjoyed deep, meaningful conversations at critical times in their lives. Many of them have told me that all of their friends have died and that their families look up to them for They are a heavy burden."

"It broke my heart, and I loved asking them all kinds of questions about their lives," Burdick says in her Medium article. "It was a memory stick for them and a source of knowledge for me."

Burdick adds that when I asked them: What do you regret the most in your life and what would you do differently if you had the chance?

Her patients mentioned the following:

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do anything, do what you want anyway and learn from your mistakes.

Burdick says patients regret not doing what they want with their lives, and regret staying in jobs they didn't enjoy rather than pursuing their dreams when they had the opportunity.

When some of them wanted to pursue different professions, their families told them that this was not a good decision and their friends did not support them and told them that they would fail, so they never got the new job and stayed in a profession they hated until they retired.

"Live the life you want, whether you succeed or not, you have to try," Burdick advises. "If you want to change your career, do it. Don't wait, because there may be no tomorrow at all. Many seniors have mentioned that they woke up one day to find They are old, dying."