Saying thank you is one of the first social rules many parents teach their children, and for good reason, we want our children to be grateful and not take things for granted.
Although you work day and night like most parents to make the world accessible to your children, you may hear nothing but grumbling, dissatisfaction and ingratitude, as opposed to self-denial and altruism on your part.
It might make you think about giving them a lecture comparing what they get now with what you got in your childhood, you only got one toy as a child, you only went to the zoo twice in your entire childhood, plus you had to walk To school back and forth every day.
But is this the right way to teach our children gratitude?
Do we tell them they are ungrateful or threaten to take away all their toys?
Does it help them see that they are, in fact, having a good, uplifting life?
Author Adrian, a mother of three, answers in her article on Raising KKids With Purpose, that this does not actually prevent our children from being ungrateful, as the lectures we give them rarely do.
It is important to consider all the reasons why our children are ungrateful so that we can instill gratitude because it is important to their health and well-being.
Gratitude Benefits
Teaching gratitude means appreciating your life and all the things in it. Just thinking about what we are grateful for is good for our mental, emotional, and even physical health. Raising children in gratitude leads to a healthy child who appreciates blessings.
Grateful children also often grow up to be emotionally, physically and socially successful.
Expressing gratitude increases the hormone oxytocin in the brain, which promotes empathy, relaxation, generosity, calm, trust, attachment, intimacy, and a sense of security.
It also reduces the stress hormone, which in turn reduces anxiety.
It is important to consider all the reasons why our children are not grateful so that we can instill gratitude (pixels)
Reasons why children are not grateful
Children can usually understand gratitude starting from the age of four to six.
However, there are some reasons why kids keep asking for more, not saying "thank you" for what you give them and what they already have, and some of the more common reasons parents themselves can make in error.
The first reason: the sense of entitlement
“An epidemic of entitlement usually begins with over-parenting, over-protection, pampering, praise, and jumping through all the hurdles to meet children’s unbearable demands,” says Amy McCready, author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic. its end."
Children can also feel worthy even without being overly parenting.
The child may start comparing with his peers, feeling that he is entitled to all these things.
Maturity Marks
It is important to realize if your child has an entitlement problem by some signs, for example that he does nothing unless he will receive some kind of reward or bribe, never feels like he has enough and constantly wants more, does not help anyone else and thinks Only in himself, and he acts as if the rules that everyone abide by are for others only and not for him, and he has the expectation that someone will come to his rescue whenever he is in trouble or needs help.
Nor does he take the blame even if he made a mistake.
Finally be unable to deal with any kind of disappointment.
Reason two: living in a bubble
Children have no experience comparing their lives with the lives of others.
When children are young they are usually encouraged to donate toys or backpacks to those in need.
However, they will not learn the lesson unless they can live first-hand experience of what others may already be experiencing.
Volunteering Benefits
Volunteering for children has many benefits. It builds empathy and compassion.
Also, thinking about others can change one's perspective on one's life.
Helping others gives your child a sense of purpose and personal satisfaction, which leads to greater happiness.
It also promotes cooperation and teamwork.
This, in turn, can help the child become more grateful to the people who support and serve them.
Raising children with gratitude leads to a healthy child who appreciates blessings (pixels)
The third reason: anticipation of giving
One study conducted at Yale University found that 4- to 8-year-olds were less likely to feel deeply grateful if they thought they had received a reward or gift that was expected. Giving to others.
Whereas when the children were given the reward randomly out of pure generosity, there was a greater emotional impact, and this deep sense of gratitude intrinsically motivated the children to give to others.
When children expect gifts at a certain time, they treat it as if they are entitled to receive them.
Fourth reason: the need for a sense of self
Your children can seem ungrateful that they need independence.
In his book Nature Shock, Bronson says, "Children with a strong need for independence can be frustrating to learn how dependent they are on adults."
"Their sense of independence may be an illusion, but it is an illusion necessary for psychological balance and future growth into true independence. Their lack of gratitude may be how they maintain the illusion that they are in control of their lives."
How do you teach your son gratitude?
According to the Verywellfamily website, children need help understanding how their behavior affects others.
Talk to them about how their words or behaviors affect others and teach them how to empathize and not hurt the people around them.
The big mistake is to give your child endless material things and endless indulgence.
Children cannot be grateful for what they have unless the satisfaction of their needs is delayed.
And it's okay to say "no" when your kids ask for a new toy or something expensive.
Tell them they need to wait until their birthday.
Or you can teach them how to save their allowance for something they want.