These days, parents are paying attention to some phrases that may affect their children negatively, especially phrases that contain frank comparisons between him and others, such as “Your sister is better than you in exercising” or “Your friend is smarter than you and listens to his parents’ advice unlike what you do.”

But there are also some phrases that parents use frequently and during the day, and do not pay attention to what they may contain of indirect negative suggestions that affect their children's thoughts, behaviors and what they think.

Including the following:

If you don't work hard now, you will regret it for the rest of your life

According to authors Willian Sticksrud and Ned Johnson in their article for CNBC, instilling fear is one of the least effective ways to elicit self-motivation in children, and it can be detrimental to children who are reminded each time how important it is to act. better, they become more tense, and sometimes they avoid it.

Another reason why statements like this don't work is that the context is beyond children's understanding. Trying to get a seventh grader to commit to swimming because his chances will be better while applying to university won't get it right, as children are not able to think in advance the way adults think, and this What makes them children.

Keeping you safe is my job

When kids grow up and reach middle school or high school, keeping them safe is no longer entirely our job but their job to keep themselves, because at this age we are not with them all the time and we can't track their every move.

When children believe that it is parents' duty to keep themselves safe, and that it is not their job, they are more willing to act recklessly, believing that there is always a safety net when there really isn't.

This does not mean that there are times when you need to step in, say no, and be clear about the risks you feel uncomfortable about.

I am punishing you because your behavior is unacceptable

Excessive application of penalties not only harms your relationship with your child, but it is also an ineffective tool for changing behavior. Sanctions do not support positive behavior in children and do not teach them what to do.

In addition, the more threatening parents are, the more often children lie and hide problems they may need help with.

great work

According to the Parents website, research has shown that saying a generic phrase like "Good Girl" or "Great job" every time your child masters a skill makes them rely on you to do things rather than their own motivation.

"The A-Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids," says educational consultant Jane Berman, author of The A-Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids.

Save these words for when you really need them, and be as specific as possible.

Instead of saying, "You played great," say "What you did helping your teammate through the game was great."

Instilling fear is one of the least effective ways to arouse self-motivation in children (pixels).

"Repetition teaches cleverness"

It is true that the more time your child devote to doing something, the sharper his skills will be, but saying this over and over again feels pressure to win or excel.

Instead, encourage your child to work hard and be proud of whatever result he or she achieves.

You are fine

When your child falls to the ground and scrapes his knee, for example, and bursts into tears, your instinct may be to reassure him that he hasn't been badly hurt, but telling him he's okay may make him worse.

"Your son is crying because he is not well," says Dr. Berman.

Your job is to help him understand and deal with his feelings, not dismiss them.

Try a hug and acknowledge how he feels by saying something like, "This was a scary fall," and then ask if he'd like a bandage, a kiss, or both.

I'm on a diet

Monitor your own weight, keep it to yourself.

If your child sees you step on the scale every day and hears you talk about being “fat,” an unhealthy body image may develop in his mind.

It's better to say "I eat healthy because I prefer it" and the same thing about exercise, your son may hear you say "I need to exercise" as a complaint about something you are struggling with, but say "It's nice outside, I'm going in A walk" might inspire him to join you.

When children believe it is the parents' duty to keep themselves safe, they are more willing to act recklessly (pixels).

We can't afford it

It's easy to use this sentence when your child asks for a new toy, but doing so sends the message that you're not in financial control of your budget, which can be scary for kids, says Jane Pearl, author of Kids and Money. Choose an alternate way of conveying the same idea, such as, "We're not going to buy that, because we're saving our money for more important things."

be cerfull

Shouting "be careful" when he's in a situation where he might fall, for example, makes him lose his balance more and make him more likely to fall.

Best, if you're feeling anxious, is to get close to him to find out what he's stumbled into, and to remain as still and calm as possible.

Excessive application of sanctions not only harms your relationship with your child, it is also an ineffective tool for changing behavior (Getty Images)

Don't talk to strangers

This is a difficult concept for a young child to understand even if the person is unfamiliar, they may not consider them strange if they are nice to them.

Also, children may take this rule the wrong way and resist the help of police officers or firefighters they do not know.

Instead of warning strangers, ask your child scenarios such as “What would you do if a man you didn’t know offered you candy and offered to drive you home?” Ask your child to explain what he would do, and then guide him in the right thing.

Since the vast majority of child abduction cases involve someone the child already knows, you can also adopt the motto "If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you should tell me immediately."