Silent treatment is psychological punishment by refusing verbal communication with another person for the purpose of delivering a specific message to him.
People who use punishment by silence may refuse to even acknowledge the other person's existence, treating him as invisible or non-existent.
Silent punishment is used in many relationships, including those of a mother or father with children, or between them in their marital relationship.
This type of behavior is emotional blackmail for the person being punished by silence, and is usually a way for the person to control, manipulate, and control the other.
Silence..between punishment and desire
Punishment with silence, or refusal to engage in conversation with another person, is a moral tactic to impose control in the relationship, and it is unhealthy behavior in all its forms.
There is a big difference between ostracism and silence as punishment, and a person's desire to remain silent and spend some time thinking about things to address problems, and then communicating later after everyone calms down.
The Very Well Mind website explains that there are times in relationships when silence is inevitable, healthy, and even productive.
For example, a couple, or one of them, might take a time-out after a heated argument, in order to get some cool down and collect ideas.
What distinguishes this silence from the pattern of punishment by silence is that this time limit is conscious and agreed upon, and there is an explicit or implicit assumption that the two parties will reconsider the issue and discuss it again later.
There are also cases in which a person who is subjected to any kind of abuse is silent as a way of defending himself, in order to prevent the abusive situation from escalating.
In these situations, the victim knows that saying anything - even if it's what the other party wants - will only escalate the situation.
When, for example, a spouse during an acute dispute is subjected to verbal abuse, it is perfectly reasonable and healthy to set boundaries and avoid discussion entirely, in order to protect the person from abuse and harm.
Therefore, staying silent during an abusive situation is not an example of punishment with silence, rather silence may be very good here to protect oneself from abuse.
Why is punishment used by silence?
People use punishment with silence for a number of reasons, which - according to Medical News Today - include the following:
Avoidance of confrontation
: In some cases, people remain silent during the conversation because they do not know what to say, or want to avoid conflict entirely, so they resort to silence.
Inability to communicate
: Some may use silence as a protective shield if they do not know how to express their feelings, but at the same time they want to express their distress and anger.
Desire to impose punishment:
If a person uses silence as a means to punish or try to impose it on someone, it is considered a form of emotional blackmail and abuse.
In addition to being harmful behavior in general, it is especially dangerous if it is used in raising children, as it may lead to deep psychological problems in the child, because he does not know exactly why he is being punished, denied and denied his existence, and thus he may suffer crises in assessing his self-worth and vision of himself and even His assessment of the scales of right and wrong.
Silent punishment is a pernicious form of abuse and blackmail, as it may force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator against her will, in an attempt to end the psychologically abusive behavior, even if the victim does not know the reason for his apology in the first place.
If silence is used as a way to punish someone, it is a form of emotional abuse (pixels).
hurtful behavior
In most cases, punishment with ostracism or silence is not a productive and effective behavior for dealing with disagreements and problems.
Research published in 2013 in Communication monograph revealed that both men and women use silence punishment in their marital relationships.
However, clear and direct communication is essential for understanding, communication and intimacy.
This negative behavior prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a healthy and productive manner.
Also, the desire of one spouse to talk about a particular problem at a time when the other party decides to withdraw and remain silent, can cause him negative feelings such as anger, distress and mistrust.
According to another 2012 study published in APA Psycnet, people who regularly and frequently feel neglected in their relationships also report lower levels of self-esteem, belonging and sense of meaning in their lives.
For this reason, the behavior of punishment by silence can have negative effects on the health of the relationship, even if the silent person is trying through this negative behavior only to avoid conflict, not to impose control or punish the other party.
So the victim in that relationship is more likely to keep repeating the same disagreements, because he has never had the opportunity to discuss his grievances, clarify his desires, and receive a convincing answer.
In most cases, punishment with ostracism and silence is not a productive behavior for dealing with disagreements and problems (Pixabe)
What can be done about this behaviour?
If you're being punished repeatedly by silence, the following steps may help you reduce the risk of this behavior, according to Psychology Today:
Avoid isolation:
Maintaining relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers is an important step in overcoming the psychological blackmail that your partner may inflict on you if they reject you or ignore your presence.
Maintaining a Rich Life
Engaging in hobbies, reading, and art projects can help you stay strong and steady while facing silent punishment.
Remind yourself: One
of the problems with being in an abusive and controlling partner is that it can be difficult for you to remember who you are, so don't allow your opinions, desires, and goals to be erased.
Seek professional advice: A
therapist who understands controlling and abuse behaviors can help you understand what you're going through, and prepare for the challenges ahead.
Define the red line:
Realizing that punishment with silence is just a tactic of the dominant person, identify your red line.
If you feel that the situation is detrimental to you or your family, find ways to report domestic violence in your country, and seek help to find a safe exit from the relationship.