Indelible Email October 14, 18:51
Two years ago, when I received an email written in hiragana and a few katakana, I should have guessed earlier.
However, I casually returned an email saying "yes" and was unaware of the seriousness of the situation.
I have over 70 emails that I probably can't see or erase for the rest of my life.
(Yu Suzuki, Network News Department)
I ran away
It's been two years since I joined the station.
It was when I was assigned to the Kagoshima station.
The eldest son was born in the third year.
Was glad.
However, there was something unfortunate for my wife.
My work ability was never high.
"What's the news?" I didn't know how to do it, so I just worried.
It was regrettable to take a rest to dispel my anxiety about work.
If I work on Saturdays and Sundays, it will be a holiday on weekdays, but I didn't.
I was running out of time with my family.
Another misfortune of my wife was that she was from Kanto and had no acquaintance with Kagoshima.
I'll be alone with my child for a long time without me.
Take care of childcare and housework alone.
After the joy of having his first child, his wife often complained.
"You don't know anything"
"I really can't believe it"
I think I was physically and mentally involved.
But I didn't have the capacity to take the complaint head-on.
I got tired of going home and ran away to work.
I forced myself to tell myself that I was working, and kept away from childcare and housework.
As a result, a vicious cycle in which the burden on the wife increases.
At the last minute of what would happen, my wife returned to work in Tokyo and returned to her child and parents' home.
With the support of my parents, I didn't get annoyed often.
I as usual
Six years after joining the station, I moved to Tokyo and returned to living with my parents.
I entered the dormitory in Tokyo with my family.
Soon the eldest daughter was born.
Fortunately, there were many families with small children in the dormitory at this time.
When I heard the voice of playing outside, the children could go out and play together.
Sometimes I went to another house to play.
Mothers could also talk about their husband's dissatisfaction.
And as usual, I wasn't involved in childcare or housework on weekdays at all.
Negative chain
In the 8th year of joining the station, the third son was born.
We both had three siblings and vaguely wanted three children.
However, I could not imagine that the burden of the third child was not the same as that of the first or second child.
My hands don't turn.
Two parents and three children.
When parents take care of their children one by one, they have to give up taking care of the remaining one.
A child who cannot be bitten becomes moody and repeatedly asks him to bite.
Often, my wife was relieved when my newborn second son cried, and my eldest daughter, who was two years old, was in a bad mood, so I played with him. rice field.
And scream.
Step on it.
The toys are intentionally dropped from a high place and scattered.
Remove all folded clothes and towels from the shelves.
When this happened, both my wife and I couldn't afford it, and it turned out that the stress increased at once when the child was a little struck.
And my wife was facing this negative chain alone while I was away.
"What are you going to return to today?"
It was during that time that I received an unforgettable email.
At the eldest son's elementary school, which was in the first grade of elementary school, mobile terminals were distributed to each child for crime prevention.
It has a GPS function and can exchange messages for an additional fee.
At first, my eldest son was amused and sent a lot of poop emoji.
But from one day
"What are you going to return to
today
?"
"
Is it
fast today?"
I've come to receive an email asking for my time to go home.
"Where are you now??"
I also started to ask where I was.
"Daddy, please come back soon. Really."
One day
"Daddy is coming back
soon
."
"Daddy, please come back soon. Really."
It became an email that I wished for.
I hadn't noticed how the 6-year-old child added "really" to the end of the sentence.
Looking at the record, he replied "Today is too late" and "I'm sorry".
But finally
"Please come back to my dad."
"Mom is crazy
.
"
It became.
I have been trying to get home as soon as possible since the childcare of the three became difficult.
I often make videophone calls with my children during work, and I try to answer them even during interviews.
"Daddy isn't there, come back soon."
Still that day
"
Come
back from the bad."
"Mom is very hard
.
"
I received an email.
"Daddy isn't there, come back soon."
It seemed that my wife had reached the limit of physical and mental stress and hit something, or she was crying alone in the room.
My eldest son witnessed such a situation and asked me for help from the terminal I had.
There was only one time when my wife suddenly touched her eldest son.
On that day, 31 emails arrived during the three and a half hours from 5 pm to 8:30 pm.
"Why
do you go to sleep with your dad
?"
"Please come back as soon as you come back."
Many arrived every minute, more than enough to make the decision to rethink the way we work.
I decided to be a reporter working short hours.
For shorter working hours
My boss responded immediately.
There were no calls or overnight work, and the basic work was from 9:30 am to 4:30 pm.
It's been a year and a half since then.
My wife sometimes leaves home for work, during which time I am in charge of one-operated childcare for three children.
The most confusing thing was making supper, but I was really in trouble.
Even if I serve the food I cooked, the children will not eat it, saying "Oh," and saying, "I hate this."
On the other hand, I eat frozen foods as often as I can see.
I admire the ease and taste of today's frozen foods such as dumplings, beef bowls, and fried chicken.
I'm annoyed
The family situation was surprisingly stable.
Of course, every day, children get annoyed.
I don't go to the nursery school.
I don't eat breakfast.
Don't change clothes.
Don't try to go home from the nursery.
I don't need a bath.
I don't eat supper.
I never stop watching videos on the net.
Don't quit the game.
When I scold, I get sullen and get stuck.
Not sleeping.
When I think I've fallen asleep, I get up saying "like tea".
Sleeping time is cut down in response to bedwetting.
There is no day that ends exactly as I envisioned.
However, my wife's stress never explodes like a cough.
Just be there
The only thing that changed when I got the reduced working hours was that my wife didn't have to deal with the children alone on weekdays.
My wife is responsible for most of the housework.
My wife is also the main pick-up and drop-off at the nursery school.
I'm not a good husband.
Still, I think that my involvement in parenting can change my family's daily life so much.
"Thank you for changing the way you work for your family."
My wife said:
The way I work has changed a lot.
If you try to do everything you're interested in, you're half-hearted.
I thought about whether I could do the work in time, and when I thought I couldn't, I started to tell honestly.
Did I send it?
What does your eldest son think?
When I asked about the situation at that time, I got an unexpected answer.
"Did I send this?"
I felt like that was the case.
But at that time, he said with a bitter smile, "Mom was always crying."
and
"Normal is good. Well, that was normal before, but now normal is good."
He told me.
In Japan, the consciousness of division of labor that the wife is still responsible for childcare and housework may be deep-rooted.
However, I feel that it is a little different to say loudly, "Men should also take childcare leave and reduced working hours" in order to change that consciousness.
The important thing is that you can choose from a variety of work styles according to the circumstances of your family.
For example, in the case of childcare leave, whether or not to take childcare leave, the choice of each position should be respected.
And I can imagine that some families can work full-time even if they have many children, while others have difficulty.
It is natural that the way of working and the way of family are not uniform, and I think that is something that can be fully imagined.
Two years ago, my eldest son sent me about 70 emails hoping to get home early.
It's probably an email that you can't read properly for the rest of your life, but you can't delete it.