The boy had to understand first that it was not his job to remind his mother every day to show his father his beer.

The father was no longer there, at least not in this new place where the boy had recently lived with his mother.

He had always worried about her, and it didn't stop now.

Other women and children lived in the new house.

There were also women who worked there.

One told him that he didn't have to bear all the responsibility: "Your job is school, and mom has a contact person."

Florentine Fritzen

Editor in the Rhein-Main-Zeitung.

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In the women's shelter, many children first have to learn that they can be children.

Marjana Mohr reports about it, who also tells the story of the boy and the beer.

The educator and her colleague, the social worker Hilke Droege-Kempf, invited to the Frankfurt autonomous women's shelter because they want to talk about the children there.

The two experts are convinced that they are not sufficiently protected even in the secret location.

From the fathers who did violence to the mothers.

Droege-Kempf says: "The plight of children is not seen enough."

Many mothers have a history of migration

There are three women's shelters in Frankfurt, two city shelters and the autonomous one run by the Women Helping Women Association. According to its own information, it is the largest in Hessen. Where exactly it is in the city, only a few are allowed to know so that women are protected. About half of the 60 places are occupied by children. Most are three to five years old, others are already in elementary school, and still others are babies. Many mothers have a history of migration, some have been affected by violence that has to do with supposed honor. The level of education of the residents is lower than that of those seeking help in the association's advice center. The academic who was beaten up by her husband, generally speaking, moves to a friend rather than a women's shelter.

In its rooms women and children from all over the Federal Republic are accommodated.

If it seems too dangerous for a victim to stay at their place of residence, the networked autonomous women's shelters look for a place to stay far away from the perpetrator.

If a woman moves into the women's shelter, a blocking note in the population register is possible in order to keep the address secret.

If the woman is a mother, however, confidentiality can be in danger if the father applies to see his child, as Droege-Kempf and Mohr report.

In most cases, custody and access rights are negotiated at the woman's place of residence - for women in the Frankfurt women's refuge, that is, in Frankfurt.

Both parents have a right of contact

In 1998, the reform of the child rights law strengthened the fathers in particular.

As long as the best interests of the child are not endangered, both parents have the right to access.

In the women's refuge, however, they point out the considerable difference between normal divorce cases and cases of domestic violence.