"To exist is a fact, to live an art" ... It was a premonitory message that
Laura Justo Santillán
wrote
in Tuenti from her hospital bed.
He was fifteen years old and had long been fighting a battle with leukemia.
She felt very sheltered by that "family of the soul" that grew around her because of her example of sensitivity, generosity and empathy in her short but intense life.
"Existing is a fact, living an art" (Caligrama) is the book that his mother,
María Isabel Santillán Lázaro
now dedicates to him
,
after twelve years of his "departure" (on Holy Saturday 2009) and faithful to the promise what he did to his daughter one day:
- Mom, if one day I disappeared or something happened to me, what would you do for me?
- Honey, I can assure you that I would do everything, and everything is everything.
I would look for you under the stones, I would stop working and I would dedicate myself to looking for you, even if I had to move the whole world.
And María Isabel actually traveled to Calcutta, completed the Camino de Santiago and
kept her daughter's flame alive
on an internet portal https://lauranuestroangel.com/ where Laura's network of friends continues to grow.
He also collided with
the wall of silence and misunderstanding,
starting with his own family and in his more or less close environment:
- This woman is obsessed!
- This woman is going to end very badly!
- This woman won't let her daughter rest, she has her trapped! "
"People did not understand it, I felt totally misunderstood", confesses María Isabel.
"But there comes a time that you don't care because the one who has to understand it is you.
No one can understand what it is to lose a child if they don't go through it.
Only a mother or father knows what they need. And I knew what my child wanted. daughter".
"Of those who are leaving, it is better not to speak, that seems to be the motto in our society, it is not known very well if out of fear. Nobody wants to know, nobody wants to listen. If the world knew how important it is for parents that we lose children who talk about them, do not ignore them neither out of pain nor out of pity towards us ... They should not have pity, only empathy ".
"I made a pact with my daughter and I decided that I should say goodbye to her with strength and love," María Isabel emphasizes.
"I decided to live with her and what she could not live for, always carrying her in front of me as a flag."
In "To exist is a fact, to live an art" the verb to die is consciously avoided, and its author explains it: "I avoid it because, for me,
those who leave do not die.
The body is simply the suit or the body. What really matters is the soul, and the soul leaves because it doesn't need the body for that trip. "
The word "cemetery" also "horrifies" Maria Isabel.
In fact, the place where her daughter rests is "Laura's Garden", and she goes there every Wednesday and on designated dates, alone or accompanied by members of that "soul family", willing to feel that special energy and do " a toast to heaven for all our angels. "
The idea of "mourning" is something that does not enter their vital schemes either ... "It is a word that I do not understand very well. Mourning is supposedly a time in which one goes through different phases, which ends with" acceptance " And it is assumed that you have already passed it.That means that you can continue with the previous life, and leave as they say "rest" your loved one.
"I speak from my experience, and I
am horrified to think that, after a while, I have to let my daughter" rest "
and continue with my life, always carrying her hidden in my heart ... When Laura left, I understood that I had that she had to go, that it was her moment, that she did not belong to me. And I also understood, with all my heartbreak, that she had to stay here and that as a mother she was not going to allow the world to forget her. "
The first part of "Existing is a fact, living an art" is written in the third person to give prominence to Laura, her birth in Carcassonne (France), her time in Aranda and the jump to Madrid, when the disease explodes up in the air the "happy routine" of mother and daughter.
"Many see what you seem, but few feel what you are," Laura wrote in her brief texts.
Her mother remembers the human warmth that the girl received at the Nuestra Señora de la Asunción Cuestablanca school, with her classmates and parents covering her during the painful journey of leukemia.
"The normal thing in those circumstances of illness was to demand attention, and yet Laura was always on the lookout for other hospitalized children, visiting them whenever she could, taking care and worrying about others," recalls Rosa María, who with her husband Vicente and his son Eric have a special role in the book.
"Laura certainly lived with art and full of generosity. She was an example for everyone!"
In the town where her mother was born back in 1956, Bahabón de Esgueva, Burgos province, Laura has a symbolically dedicated "street" next to the house of her grandparents, who also left.
At the Burgos Book Fair, on October 6, there will be presented by the way "Existing is a fact, living an art", and the message written between the lines by María Isabel Santillán Lázaro is more or less this: "Inside the pain for the loss of a child can be lived with joy and hope. "
According to the criteria of The Trust Project
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