You grew up in a small town in the Palatinate and it wasn't always easy there.

What was that?

Melanie Mühl

Editor in the features section.

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Elena Witzeck

Editor in the features section.

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The feeling of tightness and my coming-of-age process, which is still not over.

I wanted to be difficult, to stand out and still belong.

I dressed like the artists who got me excited, the Guano Apes, Keith Flint from The Prodigy and the now disgraced Marilyn Manson.

That shaped my image of gender and identity before I even knew what men and women were.

Did you envy these artists?

I was always jealous of everyone else.

I am jealous of beautiful people and people who make it seem like they find certain things easier.

At school I was jealous of the soccer players and also of musicians from my environment.

But there is also good envy, for example when someone sends me a new song or plays a new record, and I hear it and just think: That's terrific.

This is the gasoline in the engine that gives me energy.

Then I know: now I have to add more.

How has your envy changed - and where is it now?

Now that popularity can seemingly be measured by numbers, envy has taken on a new dimension.

Artistic validity is linked to the number of followers and the number of clicks.

It is propagated by artists who are successful in measurable units that it is about the millions of clicks.

Wherever others do something similar and things work better, resentment arises.

I had to work off this kind of envy.

If the question of acceptance is linked to numbers, it is very bad for the head and heart.

And now what can be done about it?

For example, I only try to get loud with an album when I really have something to offer, a new song or a new music video.

I don't film myself in the bathtub and try to look good doing it.

I never thought that I would get that far with this eccentric music and my style.

For that I try to be aggressively thankful.

That sounds so serene and mature.

I've played sold out concerts.

I was in the charts with my first two albums and I'm back with the new album “Exit Strategy”.

That's crazy.

Can I buy any of these now?

Yes.

I think you are overestimating how much money it can make.

At some point I can remember and be amazed: Crazy, that happened!

But you know how it is.

Feelings of happiness and success are like chewing gum.

At first they taste exciting, then they lose their taste.

You can hear the full conversation in our podcast: faz.net/abgruende