“If you really love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn’t, it was never yours from the beginning.” We all know this famous proverb.
Although we know that its content may help us in some of the things we go through in our lives;
It's hard to let go of the things we already love. Our human nature urges us to fight for the things that matter to us.
On the other hand, holding on to things and people we can no longer have is not good for us.
It keeps us stuck in memories of our past and prevents us from noticing and appreciating what we have now.
But how can we let go of all the things that we tend to cling to in the past such as anger, love, fear, etc.
Is there a difference between women and men in this matter?
Which of them can give up faster?
When you give up on something, try to think of the good things that will come in the future and expect the best (Pixabe)
Why is it so hard to let go of what we had?
We humans really like to hold on to things, even things that we know are harmful to us, says Chiki Davis, a consultant and Ph.D. writer.
Perhaps one of the reasons is that we are afraid of discovering ourselves away from our relationship with the person we love and have lived with for so long, or if we leave work - even a job we hate - we may think that we will not know ourselves well afterwards, and we may think a lot about who we will be or How would we feel if we let go of the things and people we are used to, and the result is that we cling to all the good and bad things in our lives, and are unable to practice acceptance and move on.
Davis adds that the most difficult thing about letting go of the past is when we are going through some difficult times and wishing our happy days would return, or when we yearn for someone we loved to come back to our lives again, or when we miss a good friend who has moved away from us.
Women move faster than men
The issues of love and separation are always complex, and everyone takes their time to move on from the past.
However, studies show that heartbreak affects men and women differently, and both sexes have different ways of dealing with this situation.
When it comes to breakups, we tend to think that women are broken while men move ahead quickly, says Washington Post writer Yan'an Wang.
But a study conducted by researchers at Binghamton University and University College London (London's Global) revealed that breakups affect men more than women.
The study, which surveyed 5,705 people in 96 countries, found that women may feel very sad at the end of a relationship, but men experience greater emotional trauma over time.
Women channel their feelings constructively and tend to understand themselves and their needs (Shutterstock)
Participants in this study, published in the journal Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, were asked to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of 1 to 10.
The study indicated that women are more negatively affected, emotionally and physically, by heart failure.
Participants rated their "emotional suffering" as 6.84% after the breakup, while the figure was 6.58% for men.
Furthermore, women rated their "physical pain" as 4.21% on average and men 3.75%.
Interestingly, while women suffer more emotionally and physically after a breakup, they also tend to make a full recovery and come out stronger from the experience.
While women channel their feelings constructively and tend to better understand themselves and their relationship needs;
Men will have a completely different way of dealing with a situation.
According to the study, men gain nothing or resort to alcohol, drug abuse or violence, and they are less likely to come to any kind of personal realization.
The research indicates that men take longer than women and struggle more to get ahead.
“When we move from the numbers in the study to the actual stories, you can see that women are clearly talking about something in the past, but when you read the responses,” says Craig Morris, anthropologist and study leader in The Washington Post. Guys, you will never feel this way. A breakup is a permanent open wound for them, even if they are married now and have grandchildren.”
The most difficult thing about letting go of the past is when we are going through some difficult times and we hope that our happy days will return from before (social networking sites)
Men's constant pain
Morris attributes men's constant pain to the general culture. While women usually have strong social support systems to get through tough times, it is rare for men to express their vulnerability with their friends.
Morris says, if a man shows up one night and says to all his friends, I'm a little sad, and I can't play with you tonight;
They will reply, "Okay, see you later."
Interestingly, according to the study, men's loss of a good mate may not "hurt" at first, however, they start to feel pain as soon as they realize their irreparable loss.
Practicing self-compassion can be a useful tool to aid wound healing (Pixabe)
Here are some tips for how to let go of things that happened and happened in the past:
Expect the best
When you give up on something, try to think of the good things that will come in the future and expect the best.
If we expect failure, we are more likely to fail.
Self-compassion
Practicing self-compassion can be a useful tool to help heal wounds and move forward effectively;
So try to be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for any mistakes, and accept your needs as they are.
Stay away from fear and be optimistic
When we are afraid and anxious, we often see only possible bad outcomes without researching what could be good.
Try changing the way you think to get rid of fear or anxiety and replace it with hope or optimism.
Letting go of things is a surprisingly difficult mental challenge.
It takes time and practice to master letting go of the past and moving forward with your life in ways that make you happier.