Blue-eyed boy | NHK News

Blue-eyed boy May 7th 16:08

The eyes of the child born were pale blue.

It was the moment when I realized that my illness was inherited by my child.

When my child went to the nursery school, he said,

"Mom, don't come to pick me up."

To my surprise, I calmly expressed my feelings.

I think that it is the most important thing in my child-rearing to convey my feelings without running away.

(Reporter Mayi Ogura, Network News Department)

The person who responded to the interview was Yuko, 43 years old.

He talked about the days of conflict until childbirth and his thoughts on raising children after that.

I'm not confident

I (Mr. Cottonko) is a congenital disease called "osteogenesis imperfecta" in which bones are brittle and easily broken.

From an early age, I had a life of repeated fractures.

As for how easy it was to break, the door slammed and I was shocked by the sound and I broke my leg.

When I fell, I broke my bones, was hospitalized, and was bedridden for several months, so walking was only a horror.

I thought that if I stepped off the stairs, I would die, so I went up and down slowly.

At school, I was told, "I'm in the way" and "Don't come over here" because my movements slow down.

Many of these words made me think that I shouldn't be there, and I became less confident in myself.

When I was a high school student at a school for the disabled (currently a special school), I decided not to walk anymore.

It became a wheelchair life.

Then,

I came to think that "I

need someone's help even if I want to do something" and

"It's a burden on people and it's annoying."

Gradually, I became more like following people without giving my opinion.

"You are annoyed"

There was a person who said to me from the front, "You are annoyed."

It was when I graduated from a school for the disabled, went to a facility for the disabled, and started studying interior design to get a job.

When I was talking to a friend, I didn't show myself no matter what I was asked, and showed an attitude of "it doesn't matter which one".

At that time, the man said, "You are annoyed."

I felt that the feeling that I should follow people was seen through.

The man had paralysis in his limbs and was in a wheelchair like I was.

Personality is the opposite of me

"time of nursing school, I went to play in the place of the friends escape the dormitory at night" or

the story of "irritated the or broke the locker or open a hole in the wall at the time it was" was doing.

Regardless of whether the content of the story is good or bad, even if I have an illness, I feel that I am alive without hesitation.

It was fresh and we started talking a lot.

The world has changed

One day, the man who didn't hesitate said, "You like me," and I said, "It's sly, I can't say it's different."

The man became him and began to go to live concerts, movies and Disneyland in a wheelchair.

The way the world looks has changed, and the time we spend together, or the fact that we are alive, has come to be truly enjoyable.

I was able to express my opinions honestly, and I changed myself.

I have been dating for four and a half years and married the man at the age of 23.

The way of life changes just by meeting one person.

I think it's something you don't understand in your life.

Half

At first I didn't want a child.

But as I lived with my husband, that idea changed.

"How happy I would be if I had a child with this person."

I imagined a scene where a child and three family members were laughing together.

At the same time, I wondered if I could make that dream come true.

My doctor told me that my illness was inherited by my child with a one-half chance.

I

was once told by people around me that "I

feel sorry for my child because I want a child" and

"Parenting is not that sweet."

The idea that I might not be happy to be born to my child also circulated in my head.

But I couldn't get rid of my desire for children.

My mother had the same illness and was inherited by me, but I was grateful that she was given a life.

I had a lot of hardships, but I was able to meet an important person because he gave birth.

Children have come to think that we will make them happy.

Blue-eyed boy

After experiencing a miscarriage, I gave birth to a boy at the age of 29.

I couldn't stop crying when I heard the crying "Ogya".

As a low birth weight infant, he was immediately placed in an incubator.

I put my hand in it.

I grabbed my fingertip with a little hand.

The child's eyes I saw at that time were light blue.

It was the moment when I realized that the disease was inherited.

Children with osteogenesis imperfecta may be born with bluish white eyes.

Seeing her small breasts moving hard in front of her, I decided to protect her.

I think I'm going to die

I named it "Tensho" (Sorato) with the hope that I would grow up to be a child who can open up my own destiny.

However, the determination to be happy soon wobbled.

I am two months old.

I was careful, but when I put it in the car and took it out of the baby-seat, my arm got caught in the belt and I broke it.

Tensho cried aloud.

I have had more than 20 fractures and I can imagine the pain when it breaks.

While driving to the hospital, the child felt overwhelmed as to how many more times he had to experience this pain.

Better yet, I thought I'd die together.

Then Tensho opened his eyes to look at my face.

"Oh, this kid is alive and trying to live. How selfish it is to give birth to this kid and die with him

this time."

At the school I attended, I saw many friends who couldn't live because of their illness.

I remember being surprised and scared that I thought I was going to die.

At that time, it was the hardest part of my life.

"Mom, don't come to pick me up"

Tensho has been treated to strengthen his bones and is now able to stand high and high.

I entered a nursery school, and the days of growing up made me happy.

Beyond those days, an unforgettable event happened.

It was when Tensho returned from the nursery school a few days after entering the park.

"Mom, don't come to the nursery school anymore," he suddenly said.

When asked "Why?"

, He answered, "I'm embarrassed to be in a wheelchair."

When asked, "Why is it embarrassing?" He said,

"Because it's different from other moms. Other moms can walk."

I thought I had to talk properly without running away.

"Mom can't walk no matter how hard she tries, so it's impossible to walk to pick her up. Is it embarrassing to not be able to walk?"

"No, but my friends ask

me a lot." I'm made me who the mom. "that I can be seen, but, Mom embarrassing thing I'm going to openly pick you up in a wheelchair because not all as mom of Tensho"

was this kind of exchange.

After that, I stopped saying "Don't come to pick me up".

One day, when a friend told me at a nursery school that "Tensho-kun's mom is in a wheelchair, she can't do anything," she said, "My mom is in a wheelchair, but she can do anything."

I was happy.

I want to tell you

When I was with Tensho, I was told an unexpected word.

I think that was when I was about 3 years old.

"Do you think it's okay for someone like you to have a baby?"

When I went shopping with him in a wheelchair at a supermarket, an elderly man said to each other.

Suddenly I couldn't say anything.

I have a disability and cannot live without the help of others.

With the support and systems of many people, we are able to raise children.

However, if men know that the feelings of love for people and the desire to create a family and be happy together are the same with or without disabilities, and that is the same as you. I still think it's good.

"Why were you born like this?"

When Tensho was in the 4th grade of elementary school, the day came when he thought he might come someday.

Tensho broke his right hand just by hitting his shoulder against the shoe box.

Life has become inconvenient and I have begun to rush.

I tried to say positive things in a bright tone because I had a hard time.

Tensho "

I

can't write"

I

"

I

can

move my left hand"

Tensho "

I

can't eat rice"

I "If you practice, you will be able to eat with your left hand"

Then he shouted angry.

"It's easy to say, but I don't know how hard it is."

"Why were you born like this?"

It was a word I thought might be said someday.

I did not run away and conveyed my thoughts.

"It's not unfortunate to have an illness or disability. It's up to you to make your life unhappy."

I didn't want to apologize for giving birth.

I didn't want you to think that having an illness or disability was a bad thing.

It may be a word that 4th graders do not understand yet.

He had a sullen face, didn't even look at him, and listened silently.

I started making rice in the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

About 30 minutes later, I stuck to my back in a wheelchair and said, "Mom, I'm sorry."

I said, "You don't have to worry about it," and continued to cook rice again.

happiness

"I'm sorry, mom," but that doesn't solve everything, of course.

As a junior high school student, I live on foot with medical treatment and enjoy my favorite music and English, but when I have pain, I sometimes say, "Why was I born like this?"

Every time, I tell them that it is up to me to be happy and how much I was born.

I also try to convey a lot of words, "Thank you for being born."

I don't want children to measure happiness with the ruler of others, saying that they are different from others, and I want them to measure with their own ruler.

Now, I am very happy with the mundane everyday life of playing games, chatting, and eating meals with my family.

I've stumbled a lot on living, but maybe because I didn't give up seeking happiness without running away.

I hope that Tensho will continue to seek happiness.

I want you to be in a world where you can naturally seek happiness no matter who is born in any situation.