"I am a human being of flesh and blood. I certainly grieve, but I make sure that my tears do not descend in front of those around me so that they do not become weak. My tears only come when I confine myself to my pillow that witnessed my tears, which I have never and will never change."

This is what Suheir Barghouti said, “Umm Asif” (61 years old), as she looked at the corners of her half-demolished house in the village of Kober northwest of Ramallah, and touched on it the memories of her children and her husband, who would spend Ramadan without them.

Ramadan was not the first in which her loved ones are absent, but it is "the most difficult" as she told Al-Jazeera Net - which she visited in the holy month - as she spent Ramadan 30 years completely without her leader and captive Omar Barghouti Abu Asif (67 years) during his captivity, and she will complete this Ramadan 31 years. Without him after his death on March 25, of his infection with the Coronavirus.

Umm Asif Al-Barghouti says that separation is difficult, but Jannat Allah is precious and I am patient (Al-Jazeera)

3 empty dishes

She had consoled herself previously that her husband was in prison and would one day return, but she lost him after she lost her son, the martyr Saleh al-Barghouti, who was assassinated by the Israeli occupation on December 12, 2018, and today she consoles herself by meeting her son Assem al-Barghouti, who was arrested in early 2019 and sentenced to life imprisonment. 4 times.

All four male sons of Umm Asif, who resembled their father, and their uncle, the captive Nael Barghouti, who spent more than 40 years in the occupation prisons, was arrested. She was also arrested while chasing after her son Asim, and then the year 2019 witnessed the demolition of the house of her two sons, Saleh and Asim.

In addition to the death of Asef Al-Barghouti's husband, her two sons, Asim and Saleh, are absent from the breakfast table in the month of Ramadan (Al-Jazeera)

Full breakfast table

Umm Asif spends this Ramadan with the family of her eldest son Asif and her youngest son Muhammad, and her relatives and loved ones do not let her break her fast alone, as everyone raced to invite her to Iftar, until all days of the month were filled with prior invitations.

"Before the death of Abu Asif, we were called half of the days of Ramadan, and with my current circumstance I was never left alone," comments gratefully.

She adds, "The presence of people around me relieves me a lot, even if I am alone with me, memories overwhelm me. Abu Asif was for me a husband, brother, lover and friend. Our love was renewed and burning, increasing with all the families, and when he got out of captivity, he would never leave me, and if someone told him you are you." A mountain, my wife replied to a mountain range. "

Umm Asif seems strong to everyone who meets her, and says about herself that she is a fun person who does not like sadness and looks for the bright side in everything.

And she adds, "No one is used to suffering, but what comfort me is that I count to God, and I must be patient in order to attain Paradise."

She stands on the balcony of the destroyed martyr Saleh's house, looking at the village of Kober before sunset, and she recalls a long life with her husband Omar, who began at the age of 17 and spent most of it in prison visits, raising children and being patient with affliction, as Abu Asif was arrested after their marriage a year and a half for a period of 8 years Then the arrests were repeated and prolonged, and her son Asim, 11, was imprisoned at the age of 18.

Umm Asif al-Barghouti in her home in Kober - Ramallah, which was almost destroyed by the occupation after the death of her son Saleh (Al-Jazeera)

Patience and resilience

Pictures of her husband and her children fill the house, which were presented by the people of the village and the neighboring villages as an expression of their appreciation to the Barghouti family. Umm Asif sits and entertains herself by looking at the missing loved ones, and narrates how the occupation tried repeatedly to break her steadfastness and her grief, and she says that she built a house for Asim to live in after his marriage, and she spent the most precious and precious in it. Until it became one of the most beautiful houses in the village, but the occupation demolished it after Asim was arrested for the second time.

And she says, "Do you believe, despite the fatigue that I exerted in a capital's house, when they demolished it, I was not affected as if it was not ours."

She recounts one of the dozens of situations in which she confronted the occupation officers .. “One of them came to the house after my husband and son were arrested and my son Saleh was killed, and he asked to drink coffee with me. Then he tried to show me a video clip of the demolition of Asim's house, so I told him literally, "This video is yours to watch and remember how my son killed your soldiers and stepped on their heads," referring to the operation that Assem carried out in retaliation for his brother's martyrdom.

At breakfast, Umm Asif raises her hands with the supplication: “O God, grant relief from our Lord and reward us with good.