Eight years after being raped by a man in a park while jogging, Sylvia tells Olivier Delacroix about her assault.

She evokes her fear of dying, her attempts to dialogue with her attacker, her trauma and especially her certainty that he would reoffend when he was released from prison.

TESTIMONY

Sylvia is one of 94,000 women who are raped or attempted rape each year.

While jogging, Sylvia was assaulted by a man who abused her for nearly two hours.

Her attacker was sentenced to ten years in prison for rape and attempted homicide, but was released from prison for good behavior on parole three years later.

He then relapsed, this time killing his victim.

Eight years after the events, Sylvia confides in Olivier Delacroix on her aggression, her trauma and her certainty that her attacker would reoffend. 

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"My mom suggested that I go for a jog. At first, I wasn't very hot. But since I had partied the day before, I figured losing a few calories wouldn't do me any good. no harm. We went. As I'm not used to running, I had a side stitch quite quickly. I wanted to stop. My mother told me to join her at the weight bench I didn't have time to get there I saw my mom and her friend at the time walk away, then I couldn't see them anymore. 

There was this man standing there, leaning on his elbows.

It was very hot that day, but he was dressed very warmly.

I thought it was weird.

He had a piercing and striking gaze.

I felt something that I had never felt, to the point of saying to myself: 'Sylvia, turn around'.

But I passed anyway.

I should not have.

I should have listened to my first idea, my instinct.

The moment he picked me up, I was almost like, 'I was sure.

I was hardly surprised. 

"

I wanted to stay alive

"

Nothing goes through your head at this time. As I walked past him, he grabbed me, strangled me, and threatened me with a knife. I didn't have time to think. I screamed. This is the only thing I was able to do. Then he hugged me tighter and said: 'If you scream, I'll kill you'; and still threatening me with a knife to my throat. I tried to scream a second time. He squeezed harder to the point of taking my breath away. I thought I was going to die of strangulation. So I stopped screaming. 

I don't know how it's possible, but in a split second he threw me over the barrier.

I fell from 20 meters.

I tried to go up, but he pulled me by the feet.

I pulled out all my fingernails trying to pull up.

Unfortunately, it was a bit like in a movie.

I wanted to stay alive.

I knew he was waiting for me to scream.

This is what he wanted.

I knew he was a killer.

I felt it.

My main fear was dying.

As soon as there was a misstep, he got annoyed. 

"

I tried to get inside his head to understand why he was doing that

"

I knew I shouldn't piss him off. My phone rang because, of course, my mother was looking for me. I even heard her call me. I was 25 meters lower, but I couldn't say anything, do nothing. I said to myself: 'I'm going to die down there. He looked at me, then he broke my phone with his foot. I tried to get into his head to understand why he was doing that, why he was like this, what was in his head. I spoke to him quite normally.

I had multiple injuries and was in terrible pain.

But I wanted to cover it up so as not to show him that I was in pain and fear.

I controlled my gaze so as not to look scared.

I wasn't crying, I wasn't screaming, and I tried to talk to her normally.

I think it made him feel weird.

When I landed downstairs and said, 'But are you stupid or what?

You could have just invited me for a cup of coffee, I would have accepted '.

He believed in it.

I also didn't tell him he was good looking because he wasn't so stupid as to believe him.

I tried to flatter him a bit.

"

I wanted to go back so much that I discovered a superhuman strength

"

He abused me for two hours. These conversations were happening at the same time. After two hours, I asked him to go and clean my wounds. I said to him: 'Come with me, I won't risk flying away, given your stature'. I was laughing, like it was normal. I spoke with him normally. When he accepted, I was already saved. We were able to go back up. Oddly, I took his hand and lifted him up. I wanted so much to come back that I discovered a superhuman strength. 

On the way, we met my mother.

I pulled away from him in a second.

I was so afraid that he would come after her, that I pushed her.

I ran towards the hut of the guards who were there.

He left quietly to his car.

Nobody knew who it was, since I didn't say it.

I don't even remember when I said it.

I was shaking so much, I was so shocked.

The guards immediately gave the report.

The police arrested him.

For me, it was the start of a nightmare, the start of another life. 

"

I was almost thankful that he left me alive

"

I think about my attacker all the time. I had what is called Stockholm syndrome. So I didn't have any hatred. I didn't want him to suffer. I didn't want to be hurt. These are aberrant things. I came out alive. I was almost thankful that he left me alive. I argued with him so much that something must have happened. I don't know how to explain it. It is a syndrome that we do not understand ourselves. We would like to hate him, but we can't. 

The trial was so hard that it overshadowed it. I just know when I got there I collapsed and fell into a coma. I slept for two hours. I have very little recollection of the trial. I remember seeing it. I remember being on the stand twice and not being able to speak. Instead of speaking, I cried. Ten years in prison was too little for me, because I knew he would do it again when he got out. At first I couldn't see a man. Today, I want what everyone wants: a normal, stable life with a family and children. 

I learned from a journalist that he had reoffended. She called me, asking me if I was really the victim of such a thing. I started to tell myself that she was going to tell me what I feared the most. It's like I know it. She told me: 'He did it again and this time he killed'. And there, she killed me saying that. It cut my legs. I was uneasy. I had told everyone he would reoffend, even in court. My resemblance to his other victim troubles me. Seeing her was very hard. Of course he looked for the same kind of woman. And when he comes out, he'll do it all over again. It needs to change."