In the program "Sans Rendez-vous", the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc addressed the issue of separation in the couple on Europe 1 on Wednesday.
When and how should you make the decision to leave?
The specialist provided some answers and advice to make this decision, which is not always easy.
When should a couple consider that it is time to leave each other? This is the question to which Catherine Blanc, sexologist and psychoanalyst, answered Wednesday in the program
Sans Rendez-vous
d'Europe 1. She recommended to mature the decision, but also to show courage.
Catherine Blanc also explained what had been the consequences of confinement and Covid-19 on the life of a couple.
The question
When should a couple consider that it is time to leave each other?
Catherine Blanc's response
Today we are in a society which suggests that, as soon as a couple is failing, we should leave each other and consider that social morality will not see anything negative there since almost the majority of families are reconstituted.
Indeed, one in two couples divorce.
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We even say to ourselves that it has almost become a new injunction: after the injunction to have to resist being alone, now you have to think of yourself above all, and what will happen to the rest around you.
But I think it's neither: it's not an obligation to stay together, nor is it an obligation to separate.
Above all, you have to understand why things are wrong.
Often times, things don't work out for the same reasons we loved the other.
There are also times in the life of a couple when there are different issues, different projects.
Sometimes there are things that make us each look a little elsewhere, such as professional projects that will attract more attention outside the couple than within the family.
But should we say to ourselves, because we are not looking in the same direction, because we do not both want to buy a house or a dog, that we are not made to be together?
There are times when the human being needs to be fulfilled and the couple is not there to turn it off.
Has the confinement period got the better of many couples?
Many couples suffered during this period, because all the extras that allowed the couple to make the illusion of a match were missing.
But I also found that there were a lot of couples who had gone back to basics, which is not necessarily sexual.
The main thing was to be together, to have projects together, to be less focused on self-image, and to focus on what we have built with another.
For some, it's gone into a spin, especially for those who managed to juggle a lover or a mistress.
For them, being in a relationship, one on top of the other, has become very complicated.
For those who could juggle jobs that absorbed them a lot and suddenly found themselves eye to eye, the reunion was painful.
But for others, on the contrary, it united them much more.
That does not mean that their sexuality has been freed, because it has often calmed down, but the couple comes out of it grown.
What are the signs that it is time to leave each other?
From the moment we hurt ourselves, when we let the other hurt us.
Often, we do not leave each other for fear of the energy that must be deployed, for fear of having made a mistake or of finding something worse.
But let us face the facts of the situation in which we are.
Is there really something to be learned from this relationship?
If the answer is no, it is important to take courage and move on to life.
You also have to be courageous to leave each other.
Should we take our time to act as a separation?
It is indeed necessary to have reflected things and not to be in an impulse, because in these moments, one can say anything and everything, one can do a lot of harm with words that one did not mean in reality.
Let's not mix up our anger and our internal anxieties, let's take the time to measure it.