The economic crisis has left its repercussions on the conditions in Lebanon, especially the social ones, especially marriage and divorce. In the year 2019, the numbers were shocking for divorce in Lebanon.
The head of the International Information Center - Studies Center - Jawad Adra revealed shocking results that show that the divorce rate in Lebanon has reached 20%, indicating that it is "likely to increase significantly."
Many disputes occur between the spouses and may reach divorce. Al-Jazeera Net met with the owners of a number of experiences to talk about them, and their tongue says their condition varied the reasons for the disagreements and the result was divorce.
International Information published a study in which it indicated that the transformations that Lebanon has witnessed, whether economic ones, where incomes and job opportunities have declined, immigration and social increased, where the openness and the bifurcation of relations and the change of some social concepts, as well as the Syrian displacement and its social and familial impact, have led to a change in the Lebanese options in terms of declining cases. Marriage versus a rise in divorce cases.
Statistics of marriage, divorce, births and deaths in Lebanon (Al-Jazeera)
According to the figures issued by the General Directorate of Personal Status in Lebanon, marriage rates decreased by 13.5% and 17.9% respectively, and divorce rates decreased respectively by 11.1% and 9.8%, compared to 2019 and the average of the last five years (2015-2019). .
Statistics of marriage, divorce, births and deaths in Lebanon (Al-Jazeera)
The fact that the divorce rate in Lebanon has reached 20% is a phenomenon that deserves to be studied, as Jawad Adra says in his tweet, and adds, "Especially if we take into account that the number of divorce cases is limited in Christian spiritual courts and the existence of divorce or separation cases that are not enforced due to economic and social circumstances, which may happen." It raises the ratio dramatically. "
The fact that the divorce rate in Lebanon reaches 20% is a phenomenon worth studying, especially if we take into account that the number of divorce cases is limited in Christian spiritual courts and the existence of divorce or separation cases that are not enforced due to economic and social circumstances, which may raise the rate significantly.
This topic is more important than talking about politics.
pic.twitter.com/KmsfR876xI
- Jawad Adra (@JawadAdra) July 25, 2019
She was unlucky with her mother-in-law
Magda Wahba (40 years old) was not lucky with her mother-in-law, and she says that marital life has its pros and cons, since she stepped foot in the house of her husband's family and she suffers from problems because of the mentality that she transferred from her family's home to the new home regarding work inside and outside the house, which made Mother-in-law finds every time an opportunity to comment.
According to Magda, the behavior of her mother-in-law increases the negative charges inside the house, even if for sometimes trivial reasons, and makes life almost impossible.
Her mother-in-law does not leave her room to sit with her husband calmly and comfortably, and she participates in the smallest details, even when it comes to the issue of dress.
Magda regrets that her life with her mother-in-law has become unbearable to the point of constant quarrels with her husband, until it came to divorce and the unwillingness to live in their home.
Wehbe explained that despite what she lived with the mother-in-law, she does not deny that there are mothers-in-law who deal with their daughter-in-law as their daughters, which facilitates the lives of all parties.
The dispute between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is due to the absence of awareness and the desire of both of them to control the husband (Pixels)
Accommodating and accommodating
Maryam Lakkis (35 years), very happy with her relationship with her mother-in-law, since from the first day of her marriage she considered her in the shrine of her mother, and she was able to absorb all the impurities that may seep into herself, and that she "took her son from her", and so that problems and strife and interference in every distant and incoming did not occur. The way of thinking of her mother-in-law, and with the willingness she gained her satisfaction, and this made her husband happy and satisfied and made their life happier.
She added, "It is beautiful for parents to raise their sons and daughters in the prime of their youth and to choose those who share their lives who fear God, and plan to build a healthy family based on love and understanding, in order to avoid differences and avoid emotional reactions that negatively affect this sacred relationship."
Maryam Lakkis (left) is very happy with her relationship with her mother-in-law (right) since the first day of her marriage (Al-Jazeera)
The Accent's Rebellion
Al-Hajjah Umm Muhammad speaks of her son’s wife who lives with her, as she wakes up at one o'clock in the afternoon, indifferent to the burdens of the house and her husband’s requirements, and does not know how her son can endure this neglect.
She tried to advise her son’s wife, but this was causing her madness, so she rebelled and became angry and heard unacceptable harsh words, which prompted her to decide that her son would live with his wife in another house to avoid the daily problems and quarrels.
Brother's wife jealousy
Young Gilbert Khoury says that he did not believe what he heard from his younger brother of hurtful words because of a disagreement between their two wives, because jealousy caused the dispute, because his brother’s wife did not accept the idea that the older brother and his wife lived at a better level than them, so she began to raise problems, which created hatred between the two brothers to the point of Estrangement between them.
Despite Gilbert's attempt to end this conflict because of their two wives, and restore affection between him and his younger brother.
Gilbert Khoury believes that jealousy is a major cause of discord (Al-Jazeera)
Unacceptable behaviors
Fadi Ismail talks to Al-Jazeera Net about his wife, with whom he was related for 7 years and loved her and fulfilled all her requests, but she felt very jealous of his strong relationship with his family, especially his brother, and began to complain about the daily permanent visits to his family, and she began to quarrel with his brother's wife for trivial reasons.
But he felt that he had to put an end to his wife's behavior and talked with her frankly that she must respect his family and threatened her with divorce, she was forced to first for several months, then the ball started again, and she even started unacceptable behavior, which led him to divorce.
Ismail assures Al-Jazeera Net that he can be compensated with a second wife, but the father, mother and brothers do not compensate, so if a person loses them, who will compensate them.
Lucky for a good wife
As for Ali Mortada, he considers himself very fortunate with his righteous and faithful wife, to the point that his brother is looking for a wife with her specifications, especially as it had a positive impact on all members of his family and made his brotherly relations more coherent and affectionate.
Murtaza hopes that the brothers will not be separated because of a piece of furniture, a meal, or trivial disputes between wives, and that some women refrain from showing their blind jealousy and permanent hatred towards the husband's family, so hatred for the brothers shakes the entire family's bonds.
What does psychology say?
The consultant in marital and family relations, Elena Al-Qadri, believes that the psychological reasons that lead the wife to have a constant desire to distance her husband from the surroundings of his family and to cause division between them are due primarily to the nature of which the female has become, as it is characterized by extreme jealousy, unlike the male who may have less.
In addition to the great love of ownership, females want to have security permanently, which is a feeling present in the male and female, but it is greater among women, the emotional attachment of the young girl towards her father is greater than her male brother because of her feeling that her father is safe for her, so she loves to be possessed. On safety, love and cuddle of it.
If she grows up and gets married, that love is transferred to her husband, and she is often linked to him emotionally, then this passion turns to her children, and this is the nature of the woman's personality.
Elena Al-Qadri: The husband's weakness in setting red lines for the wife during the establishment of the first stages of their lives leads them to persist (Al-Jazeera)
Personality disorder
Al-Qadri continues her explanation to Al-Jazeera Net that the wife's entry into the stage of psychological disorders called "suspicious personality disorder" is the personality that does not trust others, and always sees the negative side of things, so she loves controlling and possessing the husband.
And here begins the husband’s suffering because this disease is difficult to live with, so the wife who suffers from it will not be able to succeed in her marital life.
Al-Qadri added that the differences and tense relations between brothers that arise because of their wives are mainly due to weak relations between them in the first place, which allows the wife to interfere in the lives of the brothers to manipulate feelings and increase the disintegration. His family, and this causes pressure on the husband, who is unable to reconcile his family relationships with his wife's satisfaction.
She explains that this matter is due to the husband's weakness in setting red lines for the wife during the establishment of the first stages of their marital life, which allows her to continue.
Some men build on the statements of his wife emotional decisions, so the circle of disagreement widens and widens by being dragged behind emotions without judging the mind, then spreading disputes and resentments by spreading lies and intrigue, with the aim of creating a chasm between the husband and his brothers, thinking that she will be alone with him without them.
When a mother reaps her children
Al-Qadri also advises all wives who work to separate them that they bring about their sons and daughters by keeping them away from their cousins, sowing grudge in them and thus affecting their social relationships and their relationships together when they grow up.
It also confirms that if a brother loses his brother, he will lose an effective weapon to face the crises and fluctuations of contemporary life, noting the need for a man to hold the stick in the middle and be balanced between his wife and brothers, so that he does not lean toward one party against another, so as not to lose any of them.
Mother-in-law and niece awareness
She ends her speech to Al-Jazeera Net by noting that the difference between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law here is due to the lack of awareness, and the desire of both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law to control the son / husband, where the mother feels that her emotional control over the son is weakening or disappearing, so the son's upbringing in the mother’s arms drives her to an instinctive feeling By owning, while the daughter-in-law thinks that she is the most deserving of the husband with whom she is associated for the rest of her life.
If the husband’s mother puts her son’s wife in the mold of a "niece," the wife treats her in return as a mother-in-law.
So why do not you try to approach her and give her the opportunity to express her feelings, and do not close the door and cut communication between them, which helps the outbreak of the crisis in the family as a result of that, which negatively affects the marital relationship.
Al-Rifai: The origin of intermarriage is the merging of the relationship between the wife and her husband and her husband's family (Al-Jazeera)
Sharia opinion
Al-Jazeera Net spoke to Sheikh Kamal Al-Rifai, the imam and preacher of the Al-Bukhari Mosque in the city of Baalbek, who holds a license in Islamic law to monitor the Sharia’s opinion on this thorny issue. He said, “Sharia is involved in matters of gossip, backbiting, lying, intrigue and incitement for all persons, whether it is a husband, wife, mother-in-law, sister or Father, this type of interference, incitement, and transmission of speech in it is in bad faith and causes problems that often lead to divorce. "
Al-Rifai confirms that the origin of intermarriage is the fusion of the relationship between the wife and her husband and her husband’s family, and the fusion of the relationship between the husband and his wife and his wife’s family. Therefore, the wife’s entry into the marital home is an intimate, positive increase, and the wife, with her sophistication and wisdom, is able to attract hearts and plant love among the members of her husband’s family, which in return is for her. It is the duty to embrace this new gift from the Creator with full openness and positivity.